Never Underestimate the Impossible
by This-Is-Caketown
Summary: Rose thinks her life is over when she discovers she's pregnant a month after the cabin episode. How could something so impossible turn her world upside down? After Shadow Kiss but excluding the battle. First fanfic, so rates and reviews are appreciated!
1. Too Safe

"I shouldn't have eaten that," I groaned, leaning back against Dimitri's bed. We sat on the floor sharing one of Dimitri's 'homemade meals", which in this case meant a lot of fried mystery lumps.

"It's not _that_ bad," Dimitri chuckled as he cleared the paper plates. These were the evenings I loved—the ones where Lissa was tied up with Christian and I snuck into Dimitri's room.

"Sorry to break it to you Comrade, but you fight way better than you cook," I said as I leaned my head back, closed my eyes, and held onto my stomach. The food hadn't been that bad, but I was hit with waves of nausea.

"Hey, that was an old family—Rose, are you okay?" Dimitri was crouched down in front of me, concern lining every inch of his face.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just felt off for a minute there. But I'm okay," I added hastily. It was strange—I really did feel better. The nausea passed, and I rose to help Dimitri with the cleaning. He watched me out of the corner of his eye for a while, but gave up after a few minutes of zero evidence that I would be collapsing any time soon.

I threw the rest of the plates in the trash and leaned against the counter in Dimitri's small kitchen. The guardian rooms were nothing like our dorms—they were more like little apartments, complete with a miniscule kitchen, cramped bathroom, and of course, a bedroom. Though I saw the difference in treatment unfair, it wasn't like it really affected me. I never cooked anyway.

"Hey, Dimitri?" I asked as I watched him wash one of the pans in the sink.

He turned and smiled that beautiful smile. "Yes, Roza?"

I grinned. I loved it when he called me Roza—it meant he was happy, relaxed, and unhindered by any of our usual worries. "Just…I love you."

Dimitri abandoned the sink with the water still running and wrapped his arms around me. "I love you too, Roza," he murmured, inclining his head towards me. His brown eyes echoed his words and his hair fell forward and framed his face, the face I loved too much for words. He moved in like he was about to kiss me, but too late I noticed his arm reach behind him to the sink. Before I could step away, Dimitri hurled a pile of soapy bubbles on the top of my head that dripped down my face and through my hair.

"No way!" I shouted. Using my fabulously superb guardian reflexes to dodge Dimitri, I picked up the water-filled pan and flung its contents at my Russian mentor.

"You're going to pay for that!" He yelled in a mock-angry voice.

"Bet I won't," I dared, backing into the bedroom. I made a break for the bed, with Dimitri chasing after me. I leapt on the mattress yelling "Safe! Safe!" as he poised over me, his arms on either side of my body, legs caging me in. He tried to bring his lips to mine but I squirmed away, pretending to put up a fight. I finally let him win, and he gave me a long kiss before climbing off the bed. I watched him wistfully as he moved to his armchair.

It had been three weeks since our cabin incident, and I wished we could repeat it. I know Dimitri wanted to—I could see it in his eyes. But with graduation so close, he asked me to hold off. "Just a little while longer, Roza, and we won't have to hide this anymore," he'd told me on one of our other "dinner dates."

I sighed, hopped off the bed, and dug around in his kitchen for a dish towel to dry my hair. I didn't want to imagine the questions I'd get if I walked out of the guardian rooms soaking wet. Though I could always plead super-soaker attack, I supposed.

I plopped down on the floor next to Dimitri's chair, rubbing my hair in the towel.

"So, I'm thinking Mexican next. Sound good?" Dimitri asked as he sat next to me on the floor.

"Hm. Maybe. If it doesn't involve you preparing it," I said teasingly.

"Maybe you should try cooking next time," Dimitri said drily. "If you think you could do better."

I laughed. "That's a little too domestic for me, don't you think?"

Dimitri leaned forward and stroked a few fingers down my cheek. "Rose," he sighed with a small smile on his lips, "nothing is impossible."

A few days later, I found that he was right.


	2. Breakdown

"Earth to Rose?" I started from a daydream depicting Dimitri and me on a beach, totally alone and wearing very few clothes to find Lissa waving a hand in my face, looking amused. "Either you're checking out Wes Cartman or you're off in Rose land again," Liss chuckled.

I looked back to where I'd been staring and saw Wes picking his nose at one of the other lunch tables. "Definitely Rose land," I confirmed.

We sat in the Academy's cafeteria for lunch, two days after my date with Dimitri. Liss sat across from me, one hand holding a spoonful of yogurt and the other entwined in Christian's hand. Eddie sat next to me, digging into my hardly touched plate of chicken and fries.

"What's with you today?" Lissa asked, frowning. "You haven't said anything all day."

"Let's keep it that way," Christian said drily. "The day Rose doesn't talk is a great day for mankind."

"More like the apocalypse, which is pretty much the opposite," Eddie argued, pointing his fork at Christian.

"If you care so much about making the world a better place, go jump off a cliff," I snapped.

"I thought you two got over this thing," Lissa said exasperatedly.

"We did. It's just fun to mess with her," Christian explained.

"And if he bothered me _that_ much, I would have given up on this whole field experience thing and let the guardians kidnap him," I said before gulping down some water.

Lissa frowned. "Well, I guess that's good…"

The bell rang to get to class, and I had just risen to leave when the room suddenly started to spin. "Oh…" I groaned, stumbling forward. Eddie caught me before I fell, sitting me back down at the table. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe normally.

"Are you okay?" Eddie asked. I opened my eyes to see three concerned faces staring back at me. Even Christian looked worried. I was never big on showing weakness, so this must have seemed like a big deal to them.

"Yeah." I blinked rapidly and looked around. The cafeteria was quickly emptying, and I could feel the guardians' gazes searching for their next victim. Ordinarily I would love a challenge, especially against my teachers, but I knew I would be in for a humiliating defeat if I had to fight right now. "I'm fine. Thanks for your help, Eddie." Pushing back the dizziness, I rose from my seat and headed into the throng of moroi and dhampirs, trying to blend in. I didn't bother to see if my friends followed.

"What was that about?" Lissa hissed quietly as she appeared beside me less than a second later.

"I don't know. I was just dizzy for a minute," I mumbled, looking away. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Eddie and Christian look at each other, shrug, and join the group of teenagers headed to their classes.

"Rose, you're seriously starting to scare me. What's going on?" She eyed me worriedly.

"I just haven't been feeling well for a few days," I said dismissively, hoping she'd drop it. We headed into the cool night air, and I was relieved when Christian came up to me, said goodbye to Lissa, and started walking toward his next class. I followed like the dutiful guardian I was training to be.

"You aren't going to ask me what my problem is?" I asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Honestly Rose, I'm not all that interested." He said in a bored voice.

Grateful for the silence, I kept my mouth shut and followed him into his history class.

Once Christian was safely in his room for the night, I stood in the hallway wondering what to do. Thoughts of Dimitri immediately surfaced, and I headed to the guardian dorms, happy at the thought of seeing him. Since the field experience had started, we no longer had our morning and evening training sessions, and I missed him terribly. I grinned at the look of surprise I imagined would light up his face.

The guardian housing hallway was deserted, so I eagerly knocked on Dimitri's door. Surprise lit up his face when he saw me, just like I'd hoped.

"Rose?" He said, looking around. Before he could say another word I reached up and kissed his lips, the ones I'd dreamed of for months until he'd kissed me, thanks to Victor Dashkov's lust enchantment. To my despair, Dimitri pulled back almost instantly. "Rose!" He said, horrified. He leaned outside to check the hallway for anyone who might have seen, and then pulled me inside his room.

"What's the matter, Comrade?" I asked cheerily, taking a seat on his armchair.

Dimitri stared at me in disbelief. "Rose, anyone could have seen that! We have to be careful," he said angrily.

I read more into that than I should have. My smile immediately disappeared. "You don't want me here?" I asked, tears threatening to spill out.

Dimitri looked at me in confusion. "Rose, that's not what I meant. I just mean—"

I had already wrenched the door open and slammed it shut behind me as I ran down the hallway, seeking the security of my room. I heard Dimitri's door open, and for a moment I thought he was going to chase after me. But then Alberta's door opened down the hall and I heard her yell "Belikov! What the hell is going on?"

I sprinted to my room and threw myself down on my bed, letting the tears spill out. I cried until the sobs quieted to hiccups, and eventually I was still. Horror gripped me at the thought of how I overreacted. I knew what I'd done was stupid, and risky, and could have gotten Dimitri fired, but I hadn't cared. And then I'd _cried_, actually _cried_—something I never did. Worry began to rise in my stomach. Oh god, I thought as I screamed into a pillow, what the hell is happening to me?


	3. Numb

**This chapter is pretty short, but there will be more coming soon. Thanks to all those who are reading and reviewing!**

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><p><em>One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four<em>. I paced the length of the bathroom across from my room over and over, trying to get up the courage to look at the little box on the sink. It was two days after my breakdown, and I hadn't seen Dimitri since. I was still embarrassed over how I'd acted, and I couldn't bear to see his face yet. Still, a seed of worry had begun to grow in my mind—why hadn't he tried to find _me_ yet?

I finally took a deep breath and looked at the box. Earlier that night I'd broken into Dr. Olendzki's office and stolen a pregnancy test. Not one of my finest moments, but it's not like we had an abundance of drug stores on campus.

I just stared at the package, attempting to fight through my haze of jumbled thoughts. It wasn't possible—the only person I'd slept with was Dimitri, and that was just one time. So I couldn't be pregnant, right? Dhampirs couldn't conceive with other dhampirs…right?

I tried to summon some of my old Rose bravado, but it failed me today. I took another deep breath, reached out for the box, and pulled out the test before I scared myself into pacing again. I followed the directions on the box to pee on the stick and placed the test on the sink, impatiently waiting the three minutes to see the result. Millions of thoughts danced through my head as I resumed my pacing, my heartbeat speeding up to overdrive. I came to a halt when one gem in particular reached me: "Oh god, I'm just like my mother," I whispered. No matter how many times I tried to prove to everyone that I was my own person, that my accomplishments were my own, it always turned out that I was just like my mom. And that was something I'd never wanted to be.

But what if I am pregnant? I thought. Would I be different than my mom? I remembered a time that seemed so long ago where Dimitri had asked if I would have acted differently than my mother. Would I have given up being a guardian to raise a child I hadn't planned? I'd grudgingly admitted that I understood why my mother left me to be raised by the Academy. But if I was pregnant, what would I do with the baby?

"Maybe you're overreacting again," I muttered, gripping the sink. After all, that whole idea was impossible. Dimitri's earlier words whispered back to me, "nothing is impossible." I shuddered.

And what about Dimitri? This would destroy him. I knew he loved kids—that had been the most tempting part of Tasha's offer. But what if Kirova found out? What if she demanded to know what was going on? I knew there were times when someone would eye Dimitri and me if we acted a little too casual outside of training, and that we'd attracted glances a couple times before. But would someone guess this?

"I don't know, I don't know, I don't know!" I groaned in frustration. I closed my eyes again, trying to block the torment I was bringing on myself. I heard a little blip from the test, signaling it was ready. I looked at myself in the mirror, eyes puffy and red and encompassed by dark shadows from lack of sleep—it was technically four in the morning for me. My normally silky hair was thrown up in a ridiculous looking bun, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Tearing my eyes from my reflection, I picked up the test and read it. My eyes found the mirror once more, and I stared, unable to move at all. Then I let the dam break, and the tears ran down my face. But I didn't feel them, or anything for that matter. I was numb.


	4. Reappearance

**I know it's slow moving at the moment, but the pace picks up in the next chapter. I had to get some of these parts out of the way. Stick with me, please! And thanks again for the reviews! You guys keep me glued to my computer.**

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><p>My life sucked. Bad.<p>

Of course, almost everyone says that at some time or another, but I had a genuine reason to feel that way. Because somehow, the rules of the universe exploded and the impossible happened.

I sat down on my bed and held my head in my hands, wishing to god the piece of plastic was lying. But I knew it wasn't. I was pregnant.

I took my anger out on the snow globe Lissa had given me for Christmas last year, the one depicting a park in Portland we'd loved. I hurled the globe at the far wall where it shattered into a million pieces.

"Like my life," I groaned bitterly. It just didn't add up. Two dhampirs couldn't procreate. We were hybrids. Similar to mules, though I've always hated the comparison. So how the hell was I pregnant?

I got up and paced around my tiny room. Confusion hit me and mixed with nausea, a combination that didn't sit well with me. Should I tell Dimitri? Of course I should. But there was this annoying part of me that whispered my fears of him not loving me. What if he didn't believe me?

I looked over at my clock. 9 "am," Sunday morning. A trickle of relief made its way into my exhausted head—Sunday was my day off from the field experience. I knew I wouldn't be able to function today, let alone put on a face for Lissa and deal with a possible attack from the guardians.

_ Lissa._ I hadn't checked in on our bond since earlier last night. Only too happy to shut down my thoughts, I reached out to her to see where she was. And like that, I snapped into her head.

Lissa sat at our usual table in the cafeteria eating breakfast with Christian. Camille Conta beckoned Lissa over to her table, but Lissa made a gesture toward Christian and gave a helpless shrug. Truth be told, she didn't feel like putting up with the royal drama. And where the hell was Rose?

I could feel Lissa's anxiety and worry for me, and guilt flooded through me, knowing I was responsible for it. I was about to snap back into my own mind when something caught my, or rather Lissa's, attention. A familiar figure was approaching her table.

Adrian Ivashkov plopped down next to Lissa and gave her a big hug.

"Adrian," Lissa said, surprised. Through the bond I could feel her happiness at seeing him; she'd missed him and the research they'd been doing on spirit and its powers. Christian eyed Adrian distrustfully.

"Hey there, cousin. How've you been?" Adrian asked as he stole Christian's plate and started to finish off his leftover potatoes.

"Okay, I guess. How was court?"

"Boring. And speaking of boring, where's Rose? It's too quiet without her." Adrian asked, looking around.

"Probably sleeping. She hasn't been feeling well," Lissa admitted.

"Shame. I actually miss her running commentary sometimes," Christian said as he pulled his food back from Adrian and threw it in the trash. Adrian frowned.

"Have you talked to her at all?" Adrian asked. He didn't even try to hide his concern. Lissa pitied him for his crush on me—for some reason she couldn't understand, I seemed to have lost my flirty attitude and stopped hitting on every guy that looked my way.

"Hey!" I thought to myself. She would pay for that later.

"Not since last night," Lissa said truthfully.

"She's probably fine. Just being Rose," Christian shrugged, trying to keep Lissa from worrying too much. But Liss couldn't help it—that was just who she was.

"Well, I'm going to go talk to her," Lissa said, standing up to go. Christian just watched. "Are you coming?"

"Liss, maybe she wants to be on her own right now," Christian said cautiously. I mentally thanked him.

"I'll go with you," Adrian said quickly, rising as well. Christian stared at him with his icy blue eyes. I could feel resentment suddenly spring up in Lissa's mind. God, did he care about Rose at all?

I jumped back into my own head and quickly ran to find some sweats. I wouldn't put it past Adrian to break in, and I didn't want them to find me in the mess I'd been in—rumpled, tear stained shirt and jeans to match. Through the bond I could feel them coming closer. I quickly shut off my light and jumped into bed, just 10 seconds before I heard Lissa's timid knock. I stayed where I was, hoping they'd leave. I didn't want to hurt Lissa, but now wasn't the time to talk to her. She knocked again, louder this time. I slowed my breathing.

_Bang Bang Bang. _"Rose, I know you're awake. Open the door." Adrian. Of course.

"Go away," I called, hoping to sound groggy from sleep.

"Rose, please let us in," Lissa pleaded. I felt her concern spike through the bond. My resolve began to falter and I threw the covers back, until I saw the test on my desk and the box on my floor, along with the shattered snow globe.

"Lissa, I don't feel good. I'll come by later," I said.

"Tell me what's wrong!" Lissa yelled in frustration through the door.

This was getting us nowhere. I felt tears begin to push behind my eyes, a feeling I was quickly growing familiar with. I stayed silent.

"Rose?" Lissa asked softly. I bit my pillow to keep from sobbing. After a minute, I felt Lissa turn, dejected, from my door, Adrian in tow. Once I knew she left the dorms, I let the tears spill out again. This act was getting old really fast.


	5. The Wilting Rose

**I can't stop writing. I tell you, it was almost, **_**almost**_** painful to take a break to watch Harry Potter with my family. I love reading the reviews; please keep it up! *UNSUBTLE FORESHADOWING*-Dimitri will be coming back in person, not just in messages, in the next chapter. So keep reading, please!**

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><p>I steeled myself before I walked into my room Tuesday night, preparing myself for another letter. I turned the knob and opened the door slowly, sighing in relief when I didn't see a folded piece of paper on the floor. I pushed the door all the way open and to my dismay found another note on my desk. So now he was breaking into my room? Great.<p>

It had been three days since Lissa and Adrian's visit, and so far I'd done a good job of putting on a brave face. I'd groveled and apologized what seemed like thousands of times, pleading sickness and sleep deprivation as the cause of my moodiness. Lissa was happy to accept me back with very few questions, but Adrian continued to watch me. Well, technically Lissa did as well- she, like me, was putting on a show. I could feel her worry through the bond, and I knew she hadn't entirely bought my charade. But for now it seemed good enough for her.

I still hadn't seen Dimitri since my disastrous visit. I was trying my best to avoid him, which was difficult when he kept trying to find me. Sunday afternoon I had come back from the bathroom, just missing him, to a note taped to my door saying: _Rose, I'm sorry I got so upset. Please talk to me._ I couldn't bear to throw it out—instead, I hid it under my pillow so I could pretend he was there with me. Monday morning I found a letter under my door: _I miss you, Roza. I'm so sorry about everything. Please, please talk to me. Love, D. _This morning he left another note in the same spot that read: _Rose, Please tell me what's going on. I love you. D._

I didn't know if I could deal with another one of his letters. I missed him so much, but for some reason, I was too scared to tell him the truth. Part of me yearned to run to him and tell him everything. But that nagging voice in the back of my head whispered all the doubts I'd felt at some time or another. What if he didn't care?

Sighing in frustration, I strode over to my desk to pick up my latest letter:

_Rose,_

_ I miss you so much it hurts. I need to know you're okay. Please come talk to me, Roza. I love you more than my words can say, and I worry about you constantly. Please come back to me._

_All my love, D._

In a fit of what seemed at the time to be perfectly justified anger, I tore the letter to shreds and tossed it in the trash. Anger pulsed through me, so strong and wild that I found myself sprinting out of my dorm and running to the gym. I flicked on the lights, took a ragged breath, and tore into one of the practice dummies, the one with the red hair I'd once imagined to be my mother. I kicked the crap out of the dummy, decapitating it with a knife from the weapon closet and tearing out the firm padding on the inside with a stake. When I finished, I stood there panting, surveying my destruction. Then I turned and walked slowly back to my room.

The next day I walked between Lissa and Christian on the way to their calculus class. Christian and I kept up our usual banter, and I could detect only contentment from the bond. I wished I could feel the same. Instead I was plagued by this constant shadow of doubt, fear, and guilt.

"So I can't believe that graduation is only a month away," Lissa said sadly, walking hand in hand with Christian.

"Oh, how I'll miss this place," I said sarcastically.

Eddie laughed. "You just can't wait to get out of here, can you?" He said, suddenly turning sober. "You know Rose, the real world isn't as fun as it sounds. One minute you think you're enjoying life, and the next you're fat, 40, living with 30 cats, and friendless."

"Rose is already on her way there. No use trying to prevent it," Christian said cheerfully. Lissa punched him lightly on the arm while she laughed.

"Oh yeah, Sparky? And you'll be—shit." I swore as I saw three guardians run out from behind a nearby building, clearly aiming for us. Eddie immediately saw the reason for my defensive stance and copied me. Christian and Lissa, however, remained oblivious.

"I'll be _what?_" Christian asked, frowning.

"Lissa, get behind Christian," I barked. "Eddie-"

"I got your back," Eddie said firmly.

Stan, Yuri, and Alberta hurled themselves at me. And when I mean at me, I mean _only at me._ I struggled to fend them off before they could drag me down. Stan grabbed onto the back of my shirt, trying to pull me off my feet, but Eddie jumped in and punched him in the head, making him stumble back a few steps. He quickly aimed his stake at Stan's heart, and Stan stepped back, officially "dead."

I was suddenly aware that I was only fighting Alberta, and that Yuri had disappeared. Every time I tried to turn towards my charges Alberta threw herself at me, preventing me from protecting them. "Eddie!" I shouted as I dodged a well-aimed kick to my stomach. All of a sudden another worry hit me hard—_the baby_. Alberta was concentrating all of her attacks on my stomach, and it was all I could do to avoid them. I was trapped, unable to make any offensive moves, and tiring quickly.

Dodging became increasingly difficult, and the distance between my body and Alberta's fists was closing with each hit. Just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, Eddie came to my rescue and tackled Alberta to the ground. She floundered and fought against him, preventing Eddie from getting a clear shot to her heart. Without a moment of hesitation I threw myself on top of her and aimed my stake right over her heart. Alberta relaxed, "dead," and we released her. Lissa and Christian stood behind Eddie by the "dead" guardians, watching as Alberta approached her comrades. There were no visible injuries on any of them; Eddie hadn't wasted his time.

"Eddie, that was what I wanted to see. Excellent offensive moves. Rose," Alberta turned to face me, frowning. "You can't dodge a Strigoi to death. You will undoubtedly tire before they will. If you want to be defensive, try defending your Moroi." Tears pricked at the back of my eyes as she and the other guardians left.

I turned back to my friends. Apparently I suck at hiding my feelings, because pity instantly flashed through the bond.

"Rose, it wasn't your fault. You were trying," Lissa said, attempting to be helpful.

"Trying isn't good enough." I shot back.

"Rose-" Eddie started to say, but I cut him off.

"Whatever. Let's get you guys to class." I said, turning to go. The three exchanged looks. Lissa looked like she was about to say something, but apparently decided against it. Still, I detected a bit of guilt and secrecy through the bond—Lissa had a plan.

**LPOV**

Later that night, I walked into the guest rooms, looking for Adrian. I found him in his room, smoking a cigarette as usual.

"Cousin," he said, sounding surprised.

"Hey Adrian, I need you to do me a favor," I said as he beckoned me in and gestured to the couch. I perched myself on the edge of it, feeling uncomfortable. Rose would definitely kill me if she knew what I was doing.

Adrian raised an eyebrow. "What sort of favor?"

"I need you to talk to Rose in one of her dreams," I said.

"You and I both know that she hates that," Adrian said, putting his cigarette out in the ash tray.

I fidgeted a bit, playing with the hem of my shirt. "I know. But I'm really worried, and she won't talk to me. "

"Maybe she just needs some time alone," Adrian suggested.

"But she _always_ talks to me. Now it's like she's shutting me out on purpose. Something's wrong," I insisted.

"What makes you think she'd talk to me?" Adrian asked after a short pause.

"I don't know," I said truthfully. "But I'm running out of ideas on how to help her."

Adrian gave a long and tired sigh. I felt terrible for throwing him into the mess that was Rose at the moment. I knew how he felt about her, but I also knew that those feelings would give me an edge. Somehow, I thought, he'll get her to talk.

"Alright, I'll talk to her." Adrian said finally.

"Tonight?" I asked.

"Tonight."

**RPOV**

I crawled into bed that night eager for sleep, for anything that would distract me from today's failure. I squeezed my eyes shut as hard as I could, hoping sleep would take me away. No such luck. I laid awake for what seemed like hours until sleep eventually overcame me. I felt myself drift into a misty summer meadow and—crap. I knew this feeling. I had been sucked into one of Adrian's spirit dreams.

I opened my eyes to find myself in a field at dawn, evidence of a previous rainstorm still clinging to the blades of grass. I was heavily reminded of that scene in _Pride and Prejudice_, the one where Mr. Darcy proposed to Elizabeth Bennet. The only reason I know that is because of Lissa, thank you very much. Movies like that aren't really my type.

I looked around, knowing Adrian must be nearby. Sure enough, I found him sitting on a white porch glider in the middle of a bunch of perfectly trimmed roses. I don't mean bushes—I mean dozens and dozens of single stem roses. He held a larger one in his hand, running his fingers over the drooping petals. I frowned.

"What do you want, Adrian?" I folded my arms across my chest and looked down in surprise. I was dressed in a navy blue halter dress that came to mid-thigh. It was actually really cute.

Adrian looked up from the rose he caressed so gently. "You see this?" he asked, holding it up.

"Yes." I had no idea where he was going with this.

"It's wilting."

"I can see that," I said impatiently.

"Some might even say it's dying." Adrian held it up and twirled it, watching the petals bend against him.

"Cut the crap, Adrian," I snapped.

Adrian ignored me. "It was beautiful, you know. Still is." He looked in my eyes, and I got the feeling he wasn't talking about the flower anymore.

"What do you want?" He continued to ignore me. I had a strong suspicion that he had a speech prepared and didn't want to end it so early on.

"Some say it's just going through a hard time and that it will perk up eventually. But a few others know better." He looked at me again to make sure I was following. I made an exaggerated motion for him to go on.

"They worry about the Rose, but the Rose won't talk to anyone."

"That's probably because flowers can't talk," I said drily.

"Maybe," Adrian said. "Or maybe it's because this Rose is pregnant."

I gasped. "What…but how…"

Adrian eyed me sadly. "Rose, I'm not an idiot."

"Yeah, but you just got here," I said, too stunned to deny his accusation.

"I've been talking to Lissa," he admitted. "Also, one of the janitors left your trash bag outside your room while he went to get coffee Monday morning."

"You…you went into my _trash?_" I shrieked. How could he? I'd worked so hard to keep this a secret, and now I felt like my world was crashing down—again.

Adrian ignored my exclamation. "You didn't think you could hide it forever, did you? That never works."

"I can't tell anyone. It'll ruin my life," I argued.

Adrian pushed off from the glider, letting the rose fall to the ground. Anger shone in his eyes. "Rose, your life is already 'ruined,' by your definition. Don't screw it up anymore than you already have. You can't expect to keep fighting and continue with that stupid test if you're pregnant. You'll end up killing the baby. Or is that what you want?" He was right in my face, and I hastily backed up a few steps.

"No! I'm just not sure what to do right now," I argued.

All the anger seemed to dissipate from Adrian, leaving him standing wearily in front of me. "I mean, I just need a little more time to sort things out," I said.

Adrian ran a hand through his hair. "Little Dhampir," he said sadly, "I never thought I'd see the day where I told you to grow up. But I think this might be the day. Or night, rather."

I was surprised at how much that stung. I could feel the tears starting to spill out, and tried to rub them dry. "You're right," I said finally. Adrian looked at me, shocked to see me agree. "I need to sort this out. But you need to let me do it myself."

"I wasn't going to tell anyone, Little Dhampir," Adrian said softly.

I offered a small smile. "I know."

He gave me a gentle hug before returning my smile. "Now, off with you. I'll see you later, Rose."

Before I could say anything, the meadow scene swam around me and I woke up in my room. I panicked when I felt something warm on my face and reached up to touch it. Tears ran down my face and dripped onto my pillow, but when I touched my eyes, I found they were dry.


	6. Tired

The next morning I stood in the back of Christian and Lissa's English class along with the other novices, acting out our guardian roles. I kept my eyes on Christian as Mrs. Berbidge, a tiny old moroi woman with terrible teeth, talked about gerunds and adverbs. Talk about dull.

Tired of trying to seem focused, I let my mind wander to last night's encounter with Adrian. True to his word, he kept his mouth shut at breakfast and averted Lissa's eyes, which constantly sought him out, trying to figure out what information he'd gleamed. I was grateful for his silence, but I knew I couldn't rely on it forever. I had to fix this mess as best I could.

All of a sudden, tsunami-like waves of nausea began building in my stomach. I stayed where I was and hoped it would pass, but after a few seconds I knew the tsunami would reach land in a matter of minutes.

I turned to Eddie who stood at attention beside me. "I'm not feeling so great. Can you cover for me? I'll be right back," I muttered. Concern lit his eyes and worry lined his face.

"Of course," he said quietly. He opened his mouth to say more, but I quickly faded into the background and slipped out the side door of the classroom. Eddie had become one of my closest friends, but if I heard one more "Are you okay?" from my friends I would scream.

As soon as I was out I sprinted for the nearest bathroom, not giving a shit what anybody thought as they stopped and stared at me. I hurled myself in bathroom, barricaded myself in a stall, and threw up right as I heard the swinging door open again. I froze, hoping whoever it was hadn't heard. I could hear someone breathing, but whoever it was stayed right where they were. I weighed my options, and decided to play it cool. I flushed, wiped my mouth, stepped out of the stall and walked right into Dimitri.

My first thought was how weird it must have been to see such a badass god enter the girls' bathroom. My second was a combination of some pretty nasty swears. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that he'd heard me.

We stood, both frozen in place, until he spoke.

"Rose, are you okay?" he asked, clearly upset. It had been almost a week since I last saw him, and he took in every inch of my appearance, studying me.

"I'm fine, Comrade." I walked to the sink to wash my hands and gasped when I peered at my reflection. My skin was almost as pale as a Strigoi's, and my dark eyes seemed to bulge out of a face that had become way too thin to be healthy. I hadn't taken the time to look in a mirror for days, and I scared myself. When did this happen? When did I _let_ this happen?

Dimitri stepped closer. "No, you're not. Roza, please tell me what's wrong. I can help." I heard the frustration in his voice. He only wanted to help me, but I couldn't let him. Not yet.

I looked up at him, and when I spoke my voice wavered. "I don't…I mean, I can't…I don't know what to do." I hated myself for the weakness so evident in my voice. In less than a second he had his arms around me and started to rock me awkwardly.

"It's okay, Roza. It'll be alright." He whispered.

I somehow managed a weak laugh. "You don't even know what's wrong," I pointed out.

"I know that you're the strongest person I've ever met, and that you can survive anything. I know that I'm here for you; I'll always be here," he said softly, holding my face gently in his hands. His lips lightly brushed mine.

I wanted so desperately to tell him. I wanted it more than anything. But that nagging voice still whispered to me, and I couldn't open my mouth to say the words I needed to say. I pulled out of his embrace and looked away.

"I'm alright, Dimitri," I said, trying to sound convincing.

He reached out to touch my hand but I pulled away, looking at the ground.

"Don't shut me out, Rose, please. Just tell me what's wrong!" He said. Anger was quickly darkening his features.

Now I'd done it. "I told you, I've been sick," I said, looking into his eyes. It wasn't a lie per se, but it was definitely not the truth.

There was a terrible five second silence where understanding dawned on Dimitri's face and hardened. His voice was rough when he finally spoke. "You're pregnant, aren't you?" Though he already knew, I could tell he wanted me to deny it, to say it was food poisoning or something. Adrian's words floated back to me, telling me to grow up. That familiar urge to cover up the truth was still there, but I ignored it. I was tired of lying to him.

"Dimitri…" I said, trying to find the words to explain. He looked away for a moment, then looked back and opened his mouth as if to say something. Instead he snapped it shut and stormed out of the bathroom. I should have run after him. The old me would have, but the new me was too tired—tired of fighting against the concerns of my friends, tired of hiding. But most of all, I was tired of myself.


	7. The Departure

**I can't thank you all enough for the reviews! You brighten up my day :). To **olivia williams: **I hadn't even thought of that to be honest, but you inspired me to change the story up a little. Suggestions are always welcome!**

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><p>I'd felt horrible all day, purely from guilt. "I should have gone after him," I thought angrily to myself, over and over. But would it have made a difference, I wondered? Probably not. I tried to tell myself that it would only have made the situation worse.<p>

My dilemma burned inside of me, no longer under control. I felt like it would turn and devour me at any moment, sucking me in like a black hole. I barely spoke to anyone, and Lissa now shot death glares at Adrian for not telling her what was going on.

We were just finishing up lunch when Christian came back from the feeders. "Has anyone seen Guardian Belikov?" He asked. I could hear the glee undermining his words. Though he didn't look at me, I could tell this was for my benefit. Everyone else said they hadn't, but I kept silent.

"He nearly tackled Ryan after first period. Just shoved him out of his way into a wall. Can't wait to see what happens to whoever pissed him off," Christian chuckled, digging into his sandwich. I froze, and Adrian stared at me over his water, raising an eyebrow.

"Later," I mouthed to him. I couldn't take all this hiding—I needed to confide in someone, and Adrian was my safest bet.

When the bell rang to signal the end of lunch, I gently touched Adrian's arm and quietly asked him to stay behind. He nodded, and when the rest of the group exited the cafeteria, we ducked back into the room.

"What did you do, Little Dhampir?" He sounded slightly amused.

"Nothing," I hissed quietly. "I was sick first period, and he found me in the bathroom. He figured it out. And now he hates me." I leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes. I was waiting for the I-told-you-so speech, but it never came.

I felt Adrian put a comforting arm around my shoulders, and I leaned back against it. "He can't hate you, Rose. No one can. Well," Adrian amended, "that's not true. Nobody who _knows_ you can hate you."

I chuckled and stood back. "I think I screwed it up for real this time. You were right—I shouldn't have tried to keep it from him," I said. Adrian put a hand to his chest, pretending to be shocked.

"I do believe that's the second time Rose Hathaway admitted I was right. I shall die a happy man!" He said, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Rose? Adrian? Oh, there you are. You're making us late!" Lissa called from the doorway.

"Sorry Liss," I said as I rejoined Eddie, Christian, and Lissa. I looked back at Adrian, who had a strangely determined look on his face. He stared back, and then disappeared out the door.

APOV

I didn't really know why I was doing this. There was no guarantee he'd even listen to me, but I had to try something. I couldn't stand to see Rose hurting, and this jackass had already caused her enough trouble. I stood in front of his room in the guardian wing and banged three times.

Dimitri came to the door and immediately stiffened when he saw me.

"Ivashkov," He said coldly. I smiled, remembering how jealous he'd been when he saw Rose and me together at the ski resort over Christmas break.

"Belikov."

"What do you want?" Dimitri asked guardedly, still blocking his doorway.

"Why does everyone assume I'm after something? Maybe I just want a friendly chat," I said.

"Because you _are_ always after something." He glared at me.

"Okay, fine. Can you let me in?" I asked.

Dimitri backed off to the side to make room for me, and I sat down in his arm chair while gesturing for him to take a seat on his bed. Annoyance crossed his face as he complied, and I could tell I was pissing him off. He'd probably had the shock of his life today, but I couldn't feel too bad for him.

"So I hear you and Miss Hathaway are hitting a rough patch," I said as I picked up an old western novel I found lying open on a side table. Belikov crossed his arms and said nothing.

"Normally I'd be all over the Belikov-is-a-complete-and-total-ass idea, but this situation is a little different," I admitted, pretending to skim the back of the book.

Belikov froze. "This has nothing to do with you, Ivashkov." As I raised an eyebrow at him I was tempted to say something like "Doesn't it?" but knew that would be counterproductive. Damn shame.

"No," I agreed, sitting the western back on the table. "But I don't like to see the Little Dhampir in pain."

"It's pain she put on herself," Belikov said. I could hear the sadness ringing off his words, and for the first time felt a little sorry for him. How was he supposed to know, anyway?

"Actually, if you give her a chance to talk, you'll find that's not true," I said as I stood. I didn't want anything more than to plant the seed, the idea of reaching out to Rose—I had no desire to coach him through it. Part of me still wished Rose would give up on him and settle for me. I know 'they' all say it's not worth it if they have to 'settle' for you, but 'they' hadn't met Rose. I would take her in a heartbeat, despite which man she spent her time pining after.

Dimitri looked up in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"Just go talk to her, Belikov." I opened the door to leave, bitterly thinking to myself that my work was done, but Dimitri's words called me back.

"I…can't." He admitted.

I turned back with my hand on the doorknob. "Then don't talk. Just listen."

RPOV

After two hours of sitting in my room that night, I felt like I was about to explode. I couldn't bear to leave Dimitri thinking I'd cheated on him, and I knew I had to set everything straight with him.

After grabbing a jacket to wear over my camisole, I tip toed out of my room and made a break for the stairwell. I paused to listen for any intruding footsteps, and hearing none I sprinted to Dimitri's room and lightly knocked on the door. There was no answer. Pressing my ear up against the door, I listened for any sign of him. Nothing. I stood for a moment as I thought of my next move. Suddenly it hit me—I knew exactly where he was.

The problem with the way the Moroi and Dhampir live their lives is that whole night-day-reversal system. The idea of sneaking across school grounds in the middle of the night sounds a lot cooler, and not to mention easier, when performed in the pitch black. Unfortunately, the sun had already risen and I could see guardians patrolling the campus, on the lookout for students who were sneaking around. Basically, they were looking for me.

I sighed exasperatedly when I found my only route to get where I needed to go. It looked like I'd have to follow the line of trees on the perimeter of the campus until I reached the gym. It would have been so much easier to just walk straight over there. Still, I took what I could get.

Fifteen minutes later I eased the door of the gym where Dimitri and I had practiced countless times open and snuck quietly inside the dark front room. Judging by the grunts and Russian swear words I could hear coming from the far right corner, I'd guessed correctly. I wrapped my jacket around myself more tightly and gently brushed my stomach. Another bit of guilt flared up—I'd been so busy trying to hide my condition so as not to upset my future, but I had barely given a moment's thought to my baby's life.

_My baby_. I wanted to love him or her, and in a way I did. But I was afraid of feeling resentment for something that wasn't even its fault. What if I was an even worse mother than my own mom? That nagging voice whispered, reminding me that now wasn't the time for a mental breakdown. I rolled my shoulders, took a deep breath, and stepped into the light.

Dimitri stood with a stake in hand, dismantling the dummy next to the one I'd destroyed. Could he tell I'd been here? I watched him for a minute, studying his body. He had perfect form, of course, but something was off. He was letting his anger get the better of him, and his moves were slightly jerkier than his usual fluid attacks. I doubted many people would have noticed, and he still looked like a god, but I knew him and his moves, and this was not what they looked like.

I quickly closed the distance between us. He never faltered in his attacks—had he not heard me come in? I saw him stiffen, and finally he turned to face me.

Dimitri's face was dripping with sweat and his hair had almost completely escaped its ponytail. I longed to reach out and touch him but thought better of it.

"Rose," he said evenly. His eyes were guarded and I could tell he was still upset, but relief flooded through me when I realized he wasn't going to storm out.

"Before you keep on hating me, I need you to listen to me," I said firmly. I was _not_ about to let him slip away again. I loved him too much.

"I don't hate you, Rose," Dimitri said at once.

"No, but you're angry with me. And you don't have a reason to be," I said, crossing my arms.

Dimitri's eyes narrowed. "Rose, you cheated on me. I'm pretty sure my anger is justified," he said…well…angrily.

"No, Dimitri, you're not listening to me. I'm saying that _you don't have a reason to be_. I didn't cheat on you," I said, looking into his eyes. _Come on, believe me_, I thought, praying he would.

"How else can you be pregnant? The only way that's possible is if you-"

"Slept with a Moroi. I know. But here's where I got confused—the only person I have EVER had sex with is you," I said earnestly.

"Rose, I don't think I can believe you," Dimitri said softly. He was still guarded, but I knew he was softening.

"You're the only guy I've ever loved, the only guy I've ever slept with, and therefore the only possible father to this baby," I said gently.

Dimitri looked away for a minute, then back at me.

"I couldn't believe I was pregnant when I took the test. It didn't make sense to me. Nothing adds up," I admitted, looking at the floor. "But I know it's true. I've been sick every morning for the past week, and crying all the time, and blowing up at things that weren't that big a deal." I looked back into his eyes. Hope surged in me when I saw the concern on his face.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why did you hide?" Dimitri asked as he brushed some escaped strands of my hair behind my ear.

I could feel the tears starting to leak out. "I was scared, Dimitri. I was afraid you wouldn't love me anymore, or even believe me. I thought you wouldn't want me." I looked back down to the floor, wiping the tears off my cheeks.

"The only time I've ever had sex was in the cabin with you. I don't know how this happened, but it did. And you're the father. There's no other explanation." I forced myself to look back into his eyes, and what I saw nearly made me smile. His hands reached out for mine, and he pulled me closer.

"Rose…I don't know what to say. 'I'm sorry' seems so pathetic compared to how I've treated you," Dimitri said.

I shook my head. "You had no way of knowing, and I should have told you earlier. I was just…so scared…" Dimitri pulled me against his chest and held me as he kissed the top of my head.

"I will always love you, Roza," he said fiercely, and I pulled back to look at his face. "And I'll be here for you and that baby. I promise you, I'm not going anywhere."

Tears started to fall again, but they weren't the painful kind. I pulled Dimitri down by the collar of his shirt and crushed my lips to his. His arms, so warm and protective, wrapped around me and held me tight.

I returned to my room a half hour later under Dimitri's orders to get some sleep. He'd left me with the promise of visiting me in the morning, and that promise kept me warm as I glided through the trees on a somewhat chilly Montana morning.

I quickly shed my jacket on my floor and hopped into bed, suddenly exhausted. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off my chest and I could finally relax.

But of course relaxing wasn't an option. I was startled out of my drowsiness by three knocks on the door. Grumbling to myself, I crossed the room to my door and threw it open, revealing a rumpled-looking Adrian.

"Adrian," I said in surprise as I let him in.

He took one look at my face and said, "so you made up with Belikov, then?"

I simply nodded, suddenly feeling awkward. I couldn't deny I'd heard the wistfulness in his voice.

"Good," Adrian said as he sat down on the edge of my bed.

"Not to be rude or anything, Adrian, but why are you here, exactly?" I asked, settling in my desk chair. His eyes had followed me sadly, obviously unhappy with the distance I'd put between us.

"I just came by to tell you I'm leaving for court tomorrow," he said gruffly.

My eyes widened. "Again?"

It was his turn to nod silently.

I looked down at the floor. "But what if I need you?" I asked quietly.

"Oh, Little Dhampir, you and I both know you don't need me for anything." He didn't sound angry—he was only speaking the truth. Still, I tried to deny it.

"That's not-"

"Oh, yes it is. I'm a convenience, Rose, but that's all I'll ever be." _No matter how much I wish otherwise._ Though unsaid, the words and what they implied hung in the air.

He rose from the bed and crouched in front of me. "Rose is in red, but never in blue. Sharp like a thorn; fights like one too," he said softly before kissing my forehead gently and rising to his feet. "You'll be alright, Rose. Just keep being you—fight your way through every goddamn obstacle like always, and you'll be fine. Dimitri will take care of you and his kid."

I gasped. "How did you know it was him?"

"I'm a genius, haven't you heard?" He said wryly.

"Sure. But it's _impossible_—how the hell did you figure it out?" There was no way he could have known.

Adrian shrugged. "You love him. Why would you sleep with someone else?" Admittedly, I felt a little resentment flare up for Dimitri. Why did the idea come so easily to Adrian and not him? I was immediately ashamed. I loved Dimitri and he loved me. I just couldn't feel the same way for Adrian.

Adrian bent down for a hug and backed to the door. "So long, Rose," he said, and then he was gone.

"Adrian," I called out after a moment, jumping to my feet.

"Yes?" His head reappeared in my doorway.

"You are coming back, aren't you?"

"Not even you could keep me away, Little Dhampir."

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><p><strong>Okay, I admit it—it broke my heart to write this scene. I love Adrian, but Dimitri and Rose were made for each other. Still, I think Adrian deserves a little credit, and not just from my story. He was great in the books. <strong>


	8. Sometimes 'Okay' is Alright

**I have to thank you all for the reviews again. I feel like dancing every time I see them. **does the happy dance.** So what do you think about this one? *Chapter 9 unsubtle foreshadowing*Incoming: the drama's about to hit the roof. :D**

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><p>I woke up to a quiet knock on my door. Ordinarily I would have rolled over and gone back to sleep, but the knocking persisted. It wasn't until I had wobbled to my feet that I remembered who was supposed to stop by today.<p>

I opened the door and smiled for Dimitri, who pulled me into a kiss. After a moment I pulled back, looked into the hallway and said, "Better be careful, Comrade." I tugged him into the room by his hand and shut the door.

"Now, where were we?" Dimitri said softly, reaching down to kiss me again. I happily kissed him back, glad to be in his arms again. To be honest I wouldn't have minded taking the kiss a little further, but when I started to back up to the bed Dimitri let me go, a longing look on his face.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"We can't, Rose. Graduation is-"

"Just around the corner. I know," I said glumly. He watched me for a moment before sitting in my computer chair. I sat cross-legged on my bed, still annoyed.

"Have you told anyone yet?" Dimitri asked to break the silence.

"Not intentionally. Adrian figured it out, but he never said anything, even when Lissa kept asking him what was wrong. I don't think he'll tell," I said, propping my elbows on my legs and resting my chin on my fists.

Dimitri looked like he was about to say something, but then changed his mind. We sat in silence for a few moments, and then he opened his mouth again.

"I think," he said carefully as he watched me, "that you should talk to Dr. Olendzki."

I immediately shook my head.

"Rose, every day you hide this you put more strain on the baby. Obviously you haven't been eating well, and I'm afraid that if you don't talk to someone something could happen to you or the baby," he said earnestly. "What are you afraid of?"

"I won't be allowed to finish training. I won't be able to graduate. I won't be Lissa's guardian," I answered quickly.

Dimitri left the chair to sit next to me on the bed. "Rose, things are going to change. It's inevitable. The only thing we can do is make the best of it," he said gently, folding his arm around my waist.

I leaned against his shoulder. "It's scary," I admitted.

"I know, but we have to do what's best for the baby. _Our_ baby." I couldn't hold back the smile that come at those words. That was, until he spoke again.

"I really think it's best to tell the doctor and Kirova. Every time you have to fight off a "guardian" attack it puts the baby at risk. I heard about what happened between you and Alberta. You know the stomach is the easiest target, and if you keep this up the baby could get hurt," Dimitri said.

I pulled back from him. "Dimitri, you could get fired if I tell. You don't think they'll be suspicious if I won't tell them the father?"

Dimitri shrugged as if it didn't bother him, but I knew better. He wouldn't just lose his job—this would destroy him. "You matter more. I can't ask you to give up the things you love if I don't as well. It's the price we're paying." He was starting to spew out that yen crap.

I scrambled off the bed and stood in front of him, looking him in the eyes. "I am _not_ about to ruin your life. This is what you love doing; I can't take it away from you," I said simply.

Dimitri took my hands in his. "Rose, you're not ruining it. This is partly my responsibility too. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but it's a miracle that this baby is even here. I _want_ to be a part of its life, the same way I want to be a part of yours. Right now, you come first."

I really tried to keep the tears inside. These hormones were really getting on my nerves. I never knew if crying was a reasonable response or if it was me being crazy.

Dimitri stood up and faced me, tipping my chin up with his index finger. "Don't be sad, Roza. I love you," he murmured before bringing his lips to mine. The kiss was sweet and full of love. There was pain there, and fear of the unknown, but they weren't enough to overshadow the love Dimitri and I had for each other. I felt safe in this embrace. I knew that whatever happened, Dimitri would be with me, and everything would be alright.

"I have one condition," I said as Dimitri pulled away. He looked at me questioningly. "I need to tell Lissa first. She'd never forgive me if I didn't, and I can feel her freaking out. I owe her an explanation. And then I promise to tell Dr. Olendzki."

Dimitri thought for a moment and then nodded. "Do you want me to go with you?" he asked.

It was tempting, oh so tempting to have him come with me and hold my hand. But I knew I had to do this on my own. To Lissa, I would tell the complete truth. But I already had a strategy planned out for Kirova. I was not about to ruin Dimitri's career, no matter what he said about putting me first. I was putting him first.

"I think she'd take it better if it were coming from me," I explained. "I've caused her a lot of worry—lots of groveling is in order."

Dimitri chuckled. "I get it. Come find me if you need me," he said.

I reached up for one last kiss. "You got it, Comrade."

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><p>Tuning into the bond, I felt Lissa pacing alone in her room. She was trying to work up the nerve to go to Dimitri and tell him that something was wrong with me. I couldn't help but laugh at the irony.<p>

It was still early in the morning, and very few people were up walking around. I tapped lightly on Lissa's door before saying "Liss? It's me. Open up."

The door swung open, and Lissa looked at me like I had 3 heads. "Rose?" she said in disbelief. After all the avoiding I'd been doing it surprised her that I would be the one coming to her.

"Yeah. I need to tell you a few things. Well, a bunch of things. I'm really sorry that I've been a little…distant lately," I said apologetically.

"Okay…" Lissa said, still shocked that I was standing there. "So…so what is it you need to tell me?"

"Well, it'd probably be best if I told you inside," I said, glancing over my shoulders. Lissa stepped back and closed the door behind me.

"Rose, I know you're tired of hearing this, but are you…okay?" Lissa asked hesitantly. She radiated apprehension and nerves. I must have really scared her these past 2 weeks.

"Honestly, no. But I will be," I said sincerely, sitting on her bed. She joined me.

"Oh. You're sure?" I don't think she expected me to tell the truth at this point.

"Positive." Oh, the irony.

"So, start from the beginning?" She said it like a question. By now Lissa was more relaxed, and she trusted that I would tell her the truth.

"Well…wait—you don't have any place to be, do you?" I asked. I could see this turning into a long conversation, and I didn't want Christian appearing in the middle of it.

Lissa shook her head. "I'm all ears, Rose."

I took a deep breath. "I guess you could say it started a little while after we came back here. Dimitri and I…well, we…felt stuff for each other, I guess you could say." Shock and disapproval came through loud and clear from the bond, but Lissa kept her mouth shut.

"He wouldn't act on it though, not until about a month ago. You remember that fight with Jesse and that creepy society?" Lissa nodded. Like she could forget. "Well, when the guardians got there Alberta told Dimitri to get me cleaned up, but we couldn't go to the clinic because that's where they were taking Jesse and spirit's effects were making me kind of crazy. So Dimitri took me to one of the cabins for first aid, but I was still going insane and he was trying to help me get rid of the darkness…and after we sort of…had sex." I've never been embarrassed to tell Lissa anything, but this was different. That memory was so private, so perfect that I didn't want to ruin it by letting other people in. It wasn't supposed to be shared by anyone.

"Rose!" Lissa said, frowning. "You two could get in so much trouble! But, what does that have to do with you now?"

I'm pretty sure anyone besides Lissa would have guessed the truth by now, but Liss always wanted to believe the best. The thought never even crossed her mind.

"That was almost five weeks ago. I took a test on Monday and found out I'm pregnant," I said simply.

There was a moment where the bond seemed to go blank. And then I felt a rush of emotions so strong that they all seemed to blend into one. I don't think there's a real word for what she felt, but if there was one I imagined it would look something like this: .

When Lissa finally spoke, her voice was thick and full of emotion. "Oh Rose, why couldn't you tell me?" She reached over and hugged me tightly. She replayed the conversations we'd had over the past week, remembering my facial expressions and the moments where I'd almost broken down into tears. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that alone," she whispered.

"Yeah, me too," I said quietly.

Then the obvious crossed Lissa's mind. "Wait," she frowned as she released me from the hug, "you're both Dhampirs. How-?"

I shrugged. "I have no idea. All I know is he's the only possible father."

"Does he know?" Lissa asked, eyeing me cautiously.

"Yeah. He guessed it yesterday after he heard me puking my brains out. It was a huge mess."

Lissa wrinkled her nose. "Ew, Rose!"

"No, not the puke," I said, waving my hand in dismissal. "The Dimitri thing. I didn't have a chance to explain before he left."

"Oh no," Lissa breathed, horrified at how that must have left both of us hurting.

"But I found him last night, and we talked it over this morning. I promised I'd tell Dr. Olendski today," I said glumly.

"But that's good, Rose. She can help you," Lissa said, relieved. She didn't like the idea of me handling this without real help; she no longer counted Dimitri.

"I don't think it is, Liss. If she doesn't tell Kirova Dimitri will, and I won't be allowed to finish my training, so I can't graduate, and then I can't be your guardian." I hated the idea. We'd been planning our arrangement since we were in elementary school, and I hated watching it burn.

"Then you'll finish after the baby's born. And then I'll request you as my guardian. It's going to work out, Rose," Lissa said. She felt much more calm about this than I did. She really believed that everything would be alright. I wish I shared her optimism.

"I guess," I said, still not convinced.

"It will," Lissa said firmly. "Will you be okay for now, though?"

"Yeah. Just promise me you won't tell anyone. Not even Christian. Not yet, anyway," I said.

"Of course not. I swear," Lissa said, holding up her pinky like old times. I laughed and we wrapped our pinkies together in the most holy and sacred binding agreement known to man.

"So," I said as I hopped off her bed, "let's go get some food. I'm starving." Lissa laughed, and we headed down to breakfast together. For the first time since my last date with Dimitri, things seemed okay. Not wonderful, not perfect, just okay. And I was perfectly, wonderfully okay with that.


	9. Halfway out of the Bag

**So, this chapter came out a little choppy. But believe me when I say I redid it so many times it was ridiculous. This is as good as it was going to get. And thank you all SO MUCH for the reviews- They almost doubled in a day :D. And I think you know where the next chapter is going, haha. tell me what you think :)**

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><p>"Well, look who's back," Eddie said with a grin as I slammed my tray laden with eggs, sausage, bacon, and toast on the table and sat down. Christian's eyes widened.<p>

"You alright there, Sparky?" I asked, amused, as Lissa took her seat opposite me.

"You're seriously going to eat all of that?" he said in disbelief.

"Making up for lost time," I said as I began stuffing my face with gusto.

Eddie laughed. "So I'm assuming you got over… whatever it was?" he asked as he reached over to steal a piece of toast. I slapped his hand away reflexively, and then apologetically gave it back to him.

"Sorry. And I guess so," I said lightly. Though I was still a little nervous to talk to Dr. Olendski, I felt better than I had in a long while. I was actually starting to believe that things were looking up.

"I should probably stop by the feeders," Lissa said, frowning ever so slightly. She didn't want to leave me.

"Then go," I said as I met her eyes and gave her a nod. She hesitated just a moment, then walked over to the feeders with Christian following dutifully behind her.

Eddie spun around on the bench to face the rest of the cafeteria. "There's a party tomorrow night in Dean's room after curfew, you know," he said.

I wrinkled my nose in disgust. "Oh come on, he's not that bad. And it's free alcohol. I thought _you'd_ be all over it," Eddie teased, poking me lightly.

"I think I'll pass," I said drily as I got up to throw away my tray.

Eddie looked like he was about to crack another joke at my expense until Lissa showed up. Grateful for the interruption, I followed her out of the cafeteria and on to first period. It was going to be one long day.

* * *

><p>I have never been a very patient person. Add that to the confrontation I was going to have to face later today, the hormones, and the less than stellar amount of sleep I'd had, mix it all together, and you get one very antsy and cranky Rose.<p>

I nearly jumped out of my skin when the bell to signal the end of the last class went off. I caught Lissa's eye, bit my lip, and jerked my head in the direction of the clinic. Worry knotted her brow, and her voice came through the bond.

_ Are you sure you want to go alone?_

I nodded. Truthfully I would have felt better if Dimitri was with me, but he couldn't be. He'd try to tell Dr. Olendski about us, and I couldn't have that. Trying not to think about this too much, I forced myself to walk towards the clinic. Eddie had agreed to take over guarding Christian for me again, and I had thanked him profusely. He'd been doing a lot of covering for me lately.

I walked in the doors, praying that no one was sick today. I breathed a tiny sigh of relief when I heard my footsteps echo in the empty room. No one.

At the sound of my approach, Dr. Olendski's head popped out from behind the curtain covering the med closet. "Just a second, Rose," she called out as her head disappeared. I stood awkwardly in the middle of the room until her whole body came into view.

"Well, it's certainly strange to see you walking in here instead of being carried in," she said cheerfully.

"Feels weird," I muttered.

"Is something wrong?" Dr. Olendski eyed me warily as the smile slipped off her face. Was it really that obvious?

"Uh, kind of." I cleared my throat. "I need to talk to you about something."

She raised an eyebrow. Could everyone do that except me? "Well, let's sit down then."

She led me to her desk and sat behind it, gesturing to the chair in front. I hated this kind of setting. It was boring and I'd been in it too many times in Kirova's office.

I fidgeted nervously on the hard wooden chair while Dr. Olendski watched me calmly. The silence stretched. "What did you need to talk about?" she finally asked.

_Come on, it's just two words. You can say them._ "I'm pregnant," I blurted out.

I have to admire Dr. Olendski—she didn't even blink. "And you're sure of that?"

I nodded. "I, uh, kind of took one of your pregnancy tests," I admitted. Like she wasn't thinking the same anyway.

"I wondered what had happened to it," She said, watching me. I squirmed uncomfortably.

"Yeah." I stared at her, waiting for the speech. Wasn't that required?

"When did you find out?" She asked gently.

"Monday," I admitted.

Her face looked sad. "Rose, I'm going to have to report this to Headmistress Kirova, you know."

"I know," I said calmly. That was going to be a fun conversation, I thought sarcastically.

"Do you know what you're going to do about it yet?" she asked.

I frowned. "What do you mean?" What was I supposed to do?

"About the baby. Are you going to keep it, give it up for adoption…" Her voice trailed off, hoping I'd catch the hint. I did. It was weird—through all the pain and heartbreak I hadn't even considered option number three. Dimitri's words echoed in my head: "It's a miracle that this baby is even here." I knew then for sure that I couldn't give it up. Why it happened to me, I don't know. But I did know that I wasn't alone anymore, and I no longer felt afraid. I was going to take care of this baby. Dimitri's baby.

"Keep it," I said finally.

"You're sure?" She eyed me, making sure I wasn't wavering in my decision. I nodded.

"Well then, Rose," she said as she rose out of her seat, "Let's find you a doctor."

* * *

><p>It turned out that it wasn't as bad as I'd thought it would be. Dr. Olendski got me an appointment with an OBGYN about 2 hours away by car, which is pretty close by the school's standards. It was somehow understood that Dimitri would take me, I think. He was always the one to deal with me when there was a problem.<p>

She warned me to get ready for fireworks from Kirova, because that bitch was going to be furious. Well, obviously she didn't use that exact terminology, but you get the idea.

I tried to find Dimitri to tell him what happened, but he was nowhere to be seen. I finally asked Celeste as she was passing by the commons, and she told me he was on watch, but she didn't know where. Frustrated, I gave up and tuned into the bond to search for Lissa. I immediately pulled back when I sensed the all too familiar feelings she had when she was _with_ Christian. I sighed.

"So much for 'we're here for you,'" I mumbled, knowing that wasn't really fair of me. But at the moment I didn't care. I just didn't want to be alone.

* * *

><p>The next day I sat outside Kirova's office, waiting for her to call me in. I had been called out of Lissa's second period class, much to her horror. I could feel her worry distracting her from everything else. I'd be okay, right? They couldn't expel me, could they?<p>

My head snapped up when I heard Kirova's door open, and her very unhappy face appeared. She beckoned me to follow her inside. I tried to keep my head held high, imagining I was marching fearlessly to my death. All of my bravado dropped, however, when I walked into the office and saw Alberta sitting in one of the two chairs opposite Kirova's desk. Kirova I could handle—she probably expected this all along. But the look on Alberta's face made me want to cry. I was one of her top novices, even after disappearing for two years. And now I was useless.

"Sit." Kirova ordered, indicating the other chair. I reluctantly complied, eyeing Alberta cautiously. Her eyes followed me as I sat down, but she didn't say a word.

"Miss Hathaway," Kirova started, glaring at me, "this morning I was told by Dr. Olendski that you are pregnant. Is this true?" Alberta didn't move; obviously she already knew.

"Yes." I swallowed the lump in my throat. _You can get through_ _this_, I thought.

Kirova sighed. "Then I trust you know that this is seriously going to affect your future."

"Kind of figured that," I snapped.

Kirova shuffled some papers on her desk. "That being said, Dr. Olendski feels you need a three day rest to recuperate from certain strains. You are to stay in your room except for mealtimes, after which you will promptly return to your room."

"So you're suspending me. Is that legal?" I was furious—my disappearance was going to create a huge stir. Someone would figure out the truth eventually.

Kirova ignored me. "You have been taken out of the field experience and will return to normal classes after those three days."

"How? All the guardians are busy," I said.

"You will take your school-wide required classes with the rest of the moroi, and Guardian Belikov will be pulled from the experience to finish you novice classes." She laid her papers neatly on her desk and looked over at me. "All physical and combat training has been discontinued."

"What's the point? I won't be able to graduate anyway, or take my trials. So why put me through classes again?" I asked. I wasn't going to stay here if there was no reason to. I didn't really feel up to being gossip fodder for the next month, and what was the point if I couldn't graduate anyway?

"Your training and combat scores are high enough that you will be able to graduate without taking your trials," Kirova admitted grudgingly. I frowned. The trials had always been required.

This was where Alberta chimed in. "You can graduate, but you will not be assigned to a Moroi without your promise mark."

I laughed. "That's basically the same thing."

"Not quite," Kirova said with disdain. "Once the child is born, you will have the option to take your trials next year."

That surprised me. I wasn't as bad off as I assumed I would be. "Oh." Was all I could say.

Kirova sighed again and waved to let me go. "It's a shame, Miss Hathaway. You were one of the best."

That hurt. A lot. I'd never liked Kirova, and she'd never liked me, but in that moment I realized she wasn't about like and dislike; she was about skill and hard work. And those were two things I'd always associated with myself.

"I still am," I said as I stood to go. Kirova gave me a wry smile as I left her office, Alberta following behind me.

I stepped out into the hallway and started towards the door of the building when I heard Alberta stop and say "Rose."

I turned around. Of course it couldn't be that easy. I walked back over to Alberta. "What?" I asked.

It wasn't until I looked in her eyes that I realized I was in deep shit. They were practically spitting fire at me.

"What did you think you were doing?" Her voice was full of anger and disappointment.

"I-I don't know," I lied. But I couldn't really tell her that I was in love with the most perfect man ever, so we had sex and oops! That would be counterproductive against the image I was trying to project.

"Rose, you had such a bright future. And now you've thrown it away."

"Kirova said-"

"Kirova told you the logistics of the situation. But do you think anyone is going to want you as their guardian now? There's no way you'll be allowed to guard Vasilisa. You couldn't even finish your high school training because you were too damn irresponsible."

I felt tears start to prick behind my eyes. This was one of the rare moments in my life where I could think of nothing to say.

Seeing my face, usually so tough no matter how I felt but now so upset, Alberta quieted just a little.

"Who's the father?" She asked gently, but in a no-nonsense voice that few could pull off. I'd been waiting for this question.

"I don't know."

Alberta's eyes widened. "What?"

"I don't know," I repeated, my voice tiny. It was humiliating.

"Rose, you can't not-" I don't know what she found in my expression, but it shut her up. Understanding, however, lit in her eyes. And I knew it had nothing to do with what I'd said. I was pretty sure Alberta just guessed correctly.

We stood in silence. I waited for Alberta to acknowledge what she knew, to ask how it was possible. Instead she said "I guess I misjudged you, Rose." But her voice now lacked that cold edge. She was disappointed in me, I could tell. But I don't think it surprised her all that much, to be honest. Still, I knew she wouldn't report anything. That was the reason for this little dance, I realized. She wasn't asking, I wasn't telling, so she "knew nothing."

"I guess I misjudged you too," I said. Alberta nodded and walked away. I stood there, totally stunned.

The next three days sucked. I had hoped that Dimitri would find a way to get in my room by pleading top secret business or something, but he never showed up. I had seen Alberta on my way to lunch a few times, though, and she would nod my way. I hadn't heard of any student-teacher scandal as I walked through the campus to get to the cafeteria, so I assumed Alberta hadn't told. I wished I could have told her how grateful I was.

Though I was happy to see my friends and take a break from seclusion, I hated the looks I got when I walked into the cafeteria. By dinner on the first day I got a few glances, and by the next night I heard whispers and received pointed glares. I told my friends Dr. Oldenski had put me under house arrest for still being sick. Though Lissa guessed I wasn't being honest with them, she didn't know the whole truth, and I hated not being able to talk to her. I had no idea what my excuse would be when my three days were up and I returned to classes, but I didn't have the motivation to think it up. I work best under pressure.

The last night of my imprisonment I spent coloring from a few Winnie the Pooh pages Lissa had printed off for me with a box of crayons she'd found. She had laughed over my excitement when she handed them over to me at lunch. Anything to kill the boredom.

I was working on coloring Piglet when I heard a knock on my door. "Took you long enough," I muttered, assuming it was Dimitri. I swung the door open and started to say his name when I froze. In my doorway stood a very short, very angry Janine Hathaway.


	10. Like Mother Like Daughter

**This one is a little short, but hopefully you guys like it. I can't thank you all enough for the reviews! They're much appreciated, and they make me grin like a fool :D **

**On other topics, it might be taking me longer to update for a couple of weeks. My friend is visiting from France, And it might be considered rude to sit on my computer all day. I promise to update as quickly as possible, though. Bear with me!**

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><p><em>In my doorway stood a very short, very angry Janine Hathaway.<em>

Shit.

Before I could say a word my mother pushed herself in my room and closed the door. Her red hair whipped around her face as she whirled to face me, way more furious than Alberta had been.

I crossed my arms over my chest and glared right back.

"Is it true?" she spat.

"Is what true?" I asked mildly. Her eyes narrowed.

"You're pregnant."

"And?"

"Well, is it true?" my mother demanded.

"I don't know. Is it?" I loved pissing her off—it was the only enjoyable activity I'd been able to do since I'd been stuck in my tower. Well, that's if you don't count Winnie the Pooh.

"Unbelievable. You are—unbelievable!" she shouted as she started to pace my room. I sat down on my bed.

"Why?" I asked calmly.

"Rose, you're _seventeen_. You shouldn't be pregnant. Not to mention the fact that I had to leave my charge to another guardian to see you. What is this, a cry for attention? Are you that desperate?"

My anger was quickly escalating. I laughed, but it didn't sound right. "Oh, so everything is about you? You're right. I _planned_ to get pregnant just so my mom would finally come home and talk to me. Does that sound like it makes sense in any way?" I snapped. Seriously. You'd have thought she of all people would understand.

"You're throwing your life away." My mother said evenly. Still, I could hear the venom and animosity oozing out of her words.

"You know, I've always wondered if people told _you_ that when _you_ made the biggest mistake of your life. I guess it's true—like mother, like daughter," I said bitterly.

"I wasn't in high school. I wasn't throwing away the rest of my life."

"You're right," I agreed. She quickly looked over at me. "You just threw away your kid's life like it didn't matter. Why didn't you just toss me in a dumpster? Would have caused a lot less inconvenience for you, don't you think?" I was on my feet now, my fists clenched at my sides. Who the hell was she to be lecturing me?

"You don't know anything. You're a child. And now you've ruined any respect you may have gotten back after that idiotic stunt you pulled," she said condescendingly.

"Oh right, like everyone was so proud of you when you got knocked up. I bet they built a statue in your honor. 'Janine Hathaway, the greatest whore who ever lived.'" I felt guilty the moment the words left my mouth. I hadn't really meant to say them; It was extreme, even for me.

My mother didn't bat an eye. "From what I've heard, you're the whore in this equation, Rose," she said coldly.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I was ready to pounce in on my you're-the-same-as-me attack again when her next words stopped me.

"You don't even know who that baby's father is." She spoke through clenched teeth, and I could see how upset she was. Not about leaving her Moroi, not about being insulted by her own daughter. She was upset about me.

Her voice was low when she spoke again. "Rose, I don't know what's going on with you. I can't say I know you better than anyone else, but I know that you're better than this. Just stop it before it's too late."

My eyes began to swim with tears. The disappointment so evident in her voice hurt me more than any of her words had. I had never sought my mother's love, or her approval. But knowing she didn't have either to offer me hurt more than I could stand.

Before my mother could make a move I bolted out of my room and out the back door of the dorm. I was still technically on my three-day rest, but rest was not what I was getting. Thankfully the sun was just barely reaching the distant horizon, and it was still dark enough that I was able to remain undetected as I ran behind buildings and through the trees, recalling from memory where the cabin was.

I darted inside, slammed the door shut and threw myself on the bed. It lay untouched. The sheets were still a rumpled mess, and the first aid kit lay open on one of the chairs by the fire. I sobbed as I remembered that golden memory, now stained dark from the shame everyone was trying to make me feel. _And this is just the beginning_, I thought to myself as I cried into one of the pillows. I could hold up under the glares and disapproval from a few isolated people, but when—oh, I didn't doubt it would leak out somehow—it reached the ears of the general population, my life would be a living hell.

I don't know how long it took for the tears to stop, but when they did, sunlight was streaming through one of the windows. I got up to stand in front of it, basking in the warmth. I could feel the vitamin D soaking into my pores. My hand drifted to my stomach, where I rested it lightly.

"I don't blame you. It's not your fault," I said quietly, patting my stomach. It was weird to think that he or she already had a regular heartbeat now. Yes, I've done my research, thank you. I just felt so guilty. I'd accused my mother of only thinking about herself, but wasn't that what I was doing? "Like mother, like daughter," I said glumly.

Just then the door opened, and I gasped and turned around, forgetting to take my hand off my stomach. Not that it mattered if Dimitri saw.

I ran into his arms and hugged him tightly without a word. He kissed the top of my head and then pulled back so he could kiss my lips.

"Where have you been, comrade?" I sighed, stepping back.

His expression looked pained. "Forcibly off on a Strigoi attack. There was one ravaging a nearby town, and they sent us out to get him. Ended up chasing him all around the state until we got him this morning. I just got back, and I saw you run over here while I was on my way to find you," he explained. I had actually heard something about that in the commons a few days ago, but dismissed it as idle gossip.

"You're okay?" I looked him up and down. No visible injuries.

"Yes. Are you?" I sat down on the bed, and he joined me. "Rose, is something wrong?" He said in that no-nonsense tone of his.

"I just got into a fight with my mom." I gave a weak laugh and cleared my throat.

"She's here?" Dimitri said in surprise.

I nodded. "Alberta must have told her, because she knew everything." He stiffened. "Did she give you a hard time over us?" He asked quietly.

"I…I didn't tell them that part," I said quietly.

There was a moment of silence. "Rose!" Dimitri said, horrified.

"Dimitri, I can't get you fired. I know you're trying to be noble and everything, but this isn't worth ruining your career over. Especially when it won't be an issue in another month," I said calmly.

"That's not the point, Rose. You're paying so much for this baby. It's killing you."He ran his fingers down my cheek and brushed my hair back. "And yet I sit here and watch it happen. I can't let all of this fall on you. It isn't right," He insisted.

"You give me everything I need just by being here. If they kicked you out, I don't know what I'd do. I'd be alone, Dimitri. I'm alone every time you're not here, and it sucks. I can't go through this by myself." My voice broke when I said 'myself', and Dimitri immediately wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm sorry, Roza. I'm sorry I did this to you." I could hear the agony in his voice.

"You know what, Dimitri? I'm not. You've always wanted kids, and now you can have one," I said. My words were true. This was tough, but I knew it would be worth it.

"But at what cost?" he asked. I pulled back from his embrace and looked him in the eyes.

"Right now is hard. I'm not going to lie. But it'll get easier. You said it yourself—this baby is a miracle. Isn't a miracle worth fighting for?" I asked.

The ends of Dimitri's lips twitched into a smile. "As long as those who fight for it really believe in it," he said, looking me in the eyes.

"I do," I said gently. "And I know you do too, Yen Master," I teased. He laughed, but then sobered.

"I heard about your meeting with Kirova and Alberta, but how was Dr. Olendski's?" He asked, sliding one hand down to my stomach. It sent chills of pleasure down my spine.

"Not as bad as I thought," I admitted, looking up at him. "I have an appointment with an OBGYN tomorrow. She said she was going to get someone to take me."

"Already on it. Alberta told me I was taking you somewhere tomorrow, but she didn't say where," Dimitri said.

"Good. I was hoping it would be you. I want you there." He smiled at that.

"Did you talk to Alberta about the meeting?" I asked. Would she have told him about our "conversation" afterward?

"A little, but she didn't have much to say. Just that you'll be able to graduate if I take over your novice classes and you can take your trials when the baby is born. Why?" he asked, eying me warily.

"Just curious. We had a little…discussion afterward," I said.

His brow furrowed. "What about?" he asked.

"She wanted to know who the father was." I couldn't look him in the eyes.

"What did you tell her?" Dimitri asked cautiously.

"I said I didn't know," I admitted.

He groaned quietly. "Rose!"

"Hey, it's better than you getting fired," I said defensively. He muttered something in Russian while shaking his head.

"Are you ever going to tell me what that means, comrade?" I asked.

"Not on your life." He said solemnly. I laughed, and he bent down to kiss me again. The sun shone on our figures, casting us in its brilliant light and cementing us in this one peaceful moment. A moment where the shadows of fear and doubt could not intrude; a moment full of only love and hungry kisses.


	11. The Appointment

**Not much to say about this one. I'll try to update soon, but it may be in a couple of days :(. Thanks for sticking with me!**

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><p>The next morning I woke up to see Dimitri's face. Normally I would say that is the most wonderful sight to wake up to, but not so much right now when he was shouting "Rose!" repeatedly in my ear.<p>

I groaned, rolled over onto my back and looked at him. "What time is it?" I muttered while rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"Seven. You are impossible to wake up," he said cheerfully, sitting in my desk chair as I forced myself out of bed. Dimitri eyed me in my skimpy camisole and shorts. What can I say? It was hot last night.

"That's because I like to wake up at a normal time _like a normal person_," I said as I stumbled like a zombie toward my dresser.

"The early bird gets the worm," Dimitri pointed out.

I tried to give him my you-have-to-be-shitting-me look, but my face muscles didn't want to work right away. "I have absolutely no desire to-"Waves of nausea suddenly wracked my body, and I quickly sprinted to the bathroom to throw up in the toilet with Dimitri following close behind me. He held my hair back as I heaved, but I was mortified that he was seeing me like this.

"Go away," I gasped.

"Shut up, Rose." The worry in his eyes as he soothingly stroked my hair belied his words.

I hastily wiped my mouth, stood up, and flushed. "It's alright. I'm getting used to it," I said tiredly, leaning against the sink for support.

"You sure you're okay?" He asked.

I nodded. "Now, how much time do I have?"

Dimitri looked at his watch. "Less than five minutes."

"Well, shit."

* * *

><p>Five minutes later Dimitri and I were sprinting across the campus towards the gate where his Honda was waiting. He held the passenger door open for me and made a sweeping bow, and I laughed as I eased into the seat.<p>

He came around the other side, got in, and drove through the gates. I laughed again.

"What's so funny?" he asked, peering at me out of the corner of his eye.

"Nothing. I'm just…" I reached over to entwine my fingers with his. "happy."

"Me too," Dimitri said softly. He brought our hands to his lips and kissed mine softly, his eyes on the road. I just stared at him, beaming.

He looked over at me, and his eyes revealed more than just happiness. "You're beautiful, Roza," he said quietly.

I laughed. "For now. Just wait a few months."

Dimitri shook his head. "I'd say you'll be even more beautiful, but I don't think that's possible." It's a wonder my heart didn't explode right then and there from sheer happiness. I leaned my head against the window and cheerfully contemplated my future. For the first time since I found out I was pregnant, I allowed myself to dream of all the possibilities open to me instead of the doors I had thought were closed to me forever.

* * *

><p>I was glad to stretch my legs when we finally pulled up to the little brick building that was the doctor's office. Butterflies began to flutter in my chest when I realized I was going to see my baby for the first time. I let my hand drift to my stomach, and when Dimitri appeared next to me, I smiled at him. He pulled me into a kiss.<p>

"I love you, Roza," he murmured.

"I love you too," I said. Reluctantly he let me go, and we fell into our mentor-student personas once more as we ascended the stairs to the front door. I took a deep breath, pushed the door open, and stepped inside. The office had a homey feel to it—photos of happy families and pregnant patients hung on the red and white striped walls, and soft music played from an old CD player. There was an older Moroi couple sitting on a sofa holding hands, probably in their thirties; the woman looked like she was ready to pop. It was hard to imagine I would be that size soon. Though the thought of stretch marks had repulsed me at first, I was now kind of excited to start showing. I would be out of school by then, and the only people I'd have to deal with would be the people who were supporting me. That was something nice to look forward to, anyway.

Dimitri signed me in at the window as I sat down in a comfy leather chair next to a table piled high with magazines. I grabbed the one featuring maternity fashions and flipped it open. I'd been worrying about the clothing factor more and more lately, wondering how I was going to have money for them or where I was even going to find them. Was there like a depot for pregnant people or something?

Dimitri chuckled as he sat down next to me. "Having fun there?"

"I'm going to need new clothes eventually; I have no idea what to do," I admitted. The Moroi woman eyed me disapprovingly. Dimitri looked over at her and raised an eyebrow, completely unabashed. She quickly turned away and pretended to be studying her nails. I smiled. I'd been doing a lot of that lately, and it felt nice.

"Rose Hathaway?" A dhampir nurse appeared in the doorway and looked over at me. Dimitri and I stood up and followed her to an exam room. She took my blood pressure before saying the doctor would be in in a few minutes and then disappeared. I laid down on the exam table, puffing my cheeks with air and blowing it out.

"Are you nervous?" Dimitri asked, holding the hand I dangled over the edge of the table from the chair he sat in.

I nodded, staring at the ceiling. "This hasn't happened before. What if the baby is like a warped mutant?"

"It won't be," Dimitri said automatically. I was about to ask how he could know that when the doctor came in, and we immediately dropped our hands.

I sat up quickly. He was an older Moroi with a kind face and grey hair. He smiled when he saw me and extended a hand as he said, "Hello, Rose, my name is Dr. Peterson." I shook it and nodded, too nervous to speak. "And you are?" he asked, looking at Dimitri.

"Dimitri Belikov. I'm a guardian at St. Vladimir's," Dimitri explained, shaking the doctor's hand as well. Dr. Peterson opened his mouth and looked like he was about to ask Dimitri to wait outside, so I quickly intervened.

"I feel better with him here," I said, looking at the ground like an embarrassed teenager. Which I guess I was.

"Very well then. Rose, I just have to run a couple of tests to see how you're doing, okay?"

I nodded again and laid back in the position he told me, my eyes on Dimitri. He gave me an encouraging smile, which I tried to return. This whole thing was weirding me out.

When he finished he told me I could sit up. He was about to call out for the ultrasound technician when I stopped him.

"Wait," I blurted out. Dimitri and the doctor regarded me questioningly.

"I'm kind of nervous," I admitted.

"It's perfectly alright. Many young mothers-to-be are a little intimidated by this whole process, but-"

"No, not that. About the baby. The thing is," I said, resisting the urge to look at Dimitri, "I've only ever had sex with a dhampir."

Dr. Peterson's eyes widened. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes," I said. Why did people keep asking me that? Obviously I was sure, or I wouldn't have said it.

The doctor sat back down on his wheelie stool and made a note in my chart. "Well then, Rosemarie," he said as he scribbled, "I'll take some blood samples to see what's what. You just sit tight for a moment." He left the room, and silence fell.

I looked over at Dimitri, who was watching me thoughtfully. "You're not mad, are you?" I asked, my eyebrows coming together.

"No, of course not. I just think it's a little strange how he accepted it so well. I thought he was going to argue how it wasn't possible."

"Some people are just good at accepting the truth," I said, thinking of Adrian.

"Hmm," was all Dimitri said.

There was a knock on the door, and then the doctor reappeared with two syringes and the same dhampir nurse as before.

"Laney here will take a couple samples of your blood, and I'll call you with the results first thing tomorrow morning," said Dr. Peterson.

I nodded once more. "Okay," I said lamely.

"It was nice meeting you, Rose and Dimitri." The doctor disappeared again.

"So, as soon as I'm finished here I'll take you to our ultrasound room and you can have a look at your baby," Laney said as she prepared the syringes.

"When will I know if it's a boy or a girl?" I asked.

"Usually between 18 and 20 weeks. Hold still," Laney said as she poked the needle into my arm. I flinched, and Dimitri chuckled. Laney filled the other syringe, and then promised to send in another nurse.

"Strigoi, you can handle. But the invincible Rose Hathaway cringes at the sight of a needle," Dimitri teased. I rolled my eyes but didn't say a word. I was still fixated on the mutant freak thing.

I was almost relieved when the ultrasound technician appeared and beckoned us to follow her. She had me lie down on another exam table and pulled out the sonogram equipment. I felt my heartbeat ratchet up a few notches and my breath hitch. This was it.

To my surprise, everything was perfectly normal. "It's a little difficult to see, but this is your baby right here," the technician, Amanda, said, pointing to the middle of the screen. She held the wand poised over my stomach, and I strained my eyes staring at the screen. I heard Dimitri give a little gasp next to me, but I only felt my frustration increase. I couldn't see anything.

And then I did. It wasn't like the planets aligned and I felt myself falling in love with this little image on the screen. It was more like getting hit by a U-haul trailer at full speed. It was so strange to think of a little person growing inside me, a person who might look exactly like Dimitri or me. God help us if she resembled my mother.

"Cool," I breathed. Dimitri and Amanda laughed.

"Cool is right," Amanda said. She deposited the ultrasound wand back in its slot and handed me some tissues to wipe myself off. "I'll give you a few minutes. Come out when you're ready," she said, and then she was gone.

I turned to Dimitri. His eyes flickered from the ultrasound to me, and then he pressed his lips against mine. If there was anything I was ever thankful for, it was spending this moment with the man I loved and our child.

* * *

><p>When we pulled into the school, afternoon classes were still going on. My three day rest was up, but I didn't feel like jumping back into classes yet. I was already having trouble adjusting to reality. Each step that brought me closer to the school brought me closer to all my worries. I felt like I was wading through water that was pushing back against me. It was seriously about to ruin the nice day I'd had. Dimitri walked silently next to me, escorting me to my room. We hadn't walked far when I noticed a figure sitting on a bench not far from us. I froze, and Dimitri turned to see what I was staring at.<p>

"Rose, you have to make up with her. Don't leave things as they are," he said softly.

"I can't. She hates me," I said coldly.

"No she doesn't. Believe me; you don't want her to go without saying goodbye first." He kissed my forehead and started to walk away from me.

"Dimitri!" I hissed to his retreating back. I saw my mother's head snap up. "Too late now," I muttered, walking over to her.

My mother jumped up when she saw me. "Rose," she said thickly. I could tell that she'd been crying.

I stared at her, horrified. How was I supposed to react?

"Um, hi," I said awkwardly.

"Look, Rose…I'm sorry about what I said earlier," she said. I could tell the words were hard for her to say.

"I'm sorry too." And I was—sorry I had this compulsive need to be such an ass to her.

"I don't want you to think I don't care about you, because I do. It's just different…" her voice trailed off. I nodded, understanding what she meant. We knew very little about each other, but that didn't mean she hadn't cared about me. And after my doctor's visit today, I felt especially horrible. Had my mother felt the same way when she was younger, staring at the image that would grow into her daughter?

"To say I'm not disappointed in you would be a lie, but that doesn't mean I'm not proud of you as well. You've stepped up and taken responsibility here. And believe it or not, that speaks volumes," She said.

"Um, thanks?" I said, still feeling incredibly awkward.

"You're welcome." She turned to go, but I called her back.

"Wait," I said. She turned around. "I…I want to show you something." I pulled the folded sonogram out of my pocket and gave it to my mom. She looked at it wordlessly. "I had an appointment today. Kind of nerve-wracking. But that's the baby. It's right-"

"I see it," my mother whispered. She stared at the picture for a long moment before handing it back. Then she looked at me. "Thank you, Rose." She stared into my eyes, and I knew what she was trying to say. She was glad I'd opened up to her to show her something that meant a lot to me. I'm not sure how she knew, but she did—and again I wondered if she had felt the same way.

"When are you leaving?" I asked.

"In a few hours. Alberta is taking me to the airport," she explained.

"Well, call or…something if you're ever around," I said. She and I both knew that she never would be around, but she pretended anyway.

"Of course. Goodbye, Rose," she said with a small smile on her lips as she waved and walked away.

"Bye mom." I said sadly, watching her go. There was a strange ache in my chest that I'd never felt for her before—longing. I would have given up a lot of things to have my mom with me for a little while. And that terrified me.


	12. The Eavesdropper

**Thank you all for the reviews! I LOVE reading them! I've decided to eliminate sleep so I can write. Time crunch solved :). So, tell me what you think of this one!**

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><p><em>Dimitri and I walked hand in hand through a perfect little park. We watched our two-year-old son chase a few geese into the nearby pond, and I chuckled. I stopped walking and looked at my husband. Love shone through his eyes, so pure and real that it pierced my heart.<em>

_ "I love you, Roza," Dimitri murmured as his lips brushed against mine. We broke apart when our son crashed into us, and I reached down to pick him up for a ki-_

_ BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP_.

"Oh!" I gasped as I shot up in bed. I slammed my fist on my alarm clock to shut up the screaming, and then slumped back against my pillow. For reasons I couldn't understand, I began to cry. It felt like my family was ripped away from me. "It was just a dream," I told myself. "Just a dream."

I forced myself to get out of bed and get ready for my first day back. Luckily my novice classes took up the first part of the day, so I would have time to mentally prepare myself before joining the Moroi for the other half. Still, I thought, I'd have to go through breakfast.

I walked into the cafeteria and quickly jumped into the line, searching for Lissa. I'd told her about my schedule change earlier, but I hadn't been able to tell her about the meetings or the appointment. I shoved my way past a few grumbling freshmen and finally caught up with Lissa.

"Rose!" She said happily as she picked up a bowl of grapefruit. "You're back. Where were you yesterday?"

"Doctor's appointment. I'll fill you in later. Meet me after Slavic art?" I asked as I picked up a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon.

"Of course. What are you telling people about the field experience? I can help, you know," Lissa said.

"No compulsion," I said firmly. "I'm thinking of pleading ignorance. Not that that has ever worked." We took our trays to our table and joined Christian and Eddie.

"Hey guys," I said, trying to sound cheerful.

"What's wrong?" Christian asked cautiously.

"What makes you think something's wrong?" I asked, digging into my eggs.

"Because you're smiling while looking like you want to punch a kitten," Eddie observed.

I shrugged and tried to play it cool. "Kirova and Alberta took me out of the field experience." Eddie and Christian looked at me in surprise.

"Why?" Eddie asked, horrified.

I shrugged. "I don't know."

"So, Christian's out too?" Eddie frowned. "That doesn't make sense."

I shrugged again. "It's what they told me." We all sat in a troubled silence for awhile. I got the feeling this was going to be a long day.

* * *

><p>I was on my way to the gym where Dimitri would be going over my lessons when my phone started to ring. I sprinted into the front room of the gym before answering in case I was overheard. Then I hastily picked up before the ringing stopped.<p>

"Hello?" I said quietly. I could hear Dimitri setting something up in the corner of the gym, and I didn't want him to hear just yet. Not until I knew what was going on.

"Miss Hathaway? This is Dr. Peterson. Your blood results came back."

"What did you find out?" I asked eagerly, gripping the phone. The final piece to the puzzle was about to fall into place, and I had this weird notion that everything would be okay once it did.

"Well, it's really quite interesting. I think the answer to your situation is in your DNA. As you know, the DNA of a dhampir is a combination of human and Moroi. Usually, the levels are almost equal—except in you. For some reason, the Moroi strands in your DNA are more numerous than the human portion. I believe it was just enough to tip the odds in your favor to conceive, as if you were Moroi and your partner was dhampir. The strange thing is, I can't seem to find a reason for this development. Perhaps it was a genetic mutation? Perfectly harmless to the baby, though," the doctor said, sounding slightly troubled.

I was pretty sure I had an explanation. "Thank you, Dr. Peterson," I said gratefully. I jumped when I saw Dimitri's head poke out from the gym, watching me.

"Anytime, Rose. Feel free to give my office a call if you need anything," he said.

"Thank you, I will." I hung up and turned to Dimitri, tapping my cell against my chin and smiling.

Dimitri grinned. "What did he say?" he asked.

"He said that my DNA is different. Instead of half human and half Moroi, the Moroi part is greater. He said it was enough to make the baby a combination of Moroi and dhampir," I explained.

A small crease appeared on Dimitri's forehead. "I wonder why that is," he said pensively.

"I have a theory," I said slowly. Dimitri looked at me questioningly. "What if when Lissa brought me back after the accident, part of her imprinted on me, or something? We know she did more than just heal me—she brought me back to life, and it took a lot out of her. What if it wasn't just her spirit that she gave me? What if she gave me a real part of herself?" I asked excitedly.

"That…actually kind of makes sense," Dimitri said thoughtfully.

"Doesn't it?" I said gleefully. I walked over to Dimitri and reached up to kiss him lightly on the lips. He in turn leaned down and deepened it passionately. His hands rested on my waist as I ran my fingers through his hair.

"Roza…" he murmured when we finally broke apart, softly stroking my hair.

"Yes, comrade?"

"You're amazing."

I smiled.

* * *

><p>There were quite a few grumbles from the Moroi when I took my seat in Slavic art, but I was used to them by now. I'd already had to deal with it for the past three classes. I tried to ignore them, and Lissa stuck by me to keep people from confronting me. True to the guardians they were training to be, the other novices kept their faces blank and stoic. Lissa sat next to me and glared at Jesse Zeklos, who had elbowed Ralph and nodded in my direction. I felt my cheeks burn and silently counted down the minutes until I could get out of here and talk to Lissa.<p>

When the bell finally rang to end Slavic art, I tried to pull Lissa to the door to escape the whispers and glares. "Hang on a second, Rose," she hissed. Eddie had already started to approach her, and she quickly pulled him aside and muttered something to him. He looked unsure, but then nodded.

Lissa hurriedly walked past, grabbing my sleeve and dragging me out to the safety of the trees, where we couldn't be overheard. "Sorry. Eddie didn't really want to leave me unguarded," Lissa said apologetically. "So how did Kirova take it? I'm guessing not well?"

I leaned against the wall of the building and sighed. "I guess it's the best deal I could get. I'll finish the classes and graduate, but I won't be able to take my trials until next don't think I'll ever be able to guard you, though," I said glumly.

"Yes you will. I'll fight for it," Lissa said fiercely. Then she frowned. "Who's 'they'?"

"Kirova and Alberta. Kirova just kind of accepted it, but Alberta was really angry. She bitched me out after Kirova let me go. Said I was throwing my life away."

"Ouch," Lissa said sympathetically. "And what about Dr. Olendski? What did she say?"

"Not much," I admitted. "It's not really her job to yell at us, I guess. She just set an appointment up with this really weird Moroi doctor."

"And that's where you were yesterday?" Lissa asked.

I nodded and took my sonogram out of my pocket. I kind of liked having it with me. "This is the baby," I said as I handed it to Lissa.

She gave a little gasp. "Wow, Rose. When will you know if it's a boy or a girl?"

"In, like, another three months. I don't like waiting," I said, annoyed, taking the sonogram back.

Lissa laughed. "You are so impatient. Try to enjoy it for now, while you're not a balloon."

I gave a small laugh. "So, I have a theory why I'm pregnant," I said.

She raised an eyebrow. "Shoot."

"Well, when the doctor called me this morning, he said that my DNA was messed up. Instead of half human and half Moroi strands, I have more Moroi in me. I was thinking that after the accident, when you healed me-"

"I gave you some of my DNA?" Lissa finished, sounding intrigued.

"Exactly. Maybe it was more than just spirit—maybe it was a part of you, or something," I said.

"I bet that's it," Lissa said excitedly. "That's crazy. Are you going to tell Kirova and Olendski that?"

I shook my head. "No. I told them I don't know who the father is."

There was a pause. "Rose!" Lissa exclaimed, sounding exasperated. "You can't do that. Now they'll say-"

"That I'm a whore? I know. You should have heard my mother," I said, chuckling.

Lissa's eyes widened. "Your _mom_ was here?"

"Yeah. It was…an interesting conversation. We made up yesterday, though." I pulled my hand through my hair.

"Wow. Was she…really angry?" Lissa looked worried.

"Yeah. Kind of like Alberta, except worse. Which is stupid, because she got pregnant too, and I don't know anybody who knew my father. But she came in yelling that my life is over and said I'm a whore because I don't know who the father is."

"That sucks, but you have to admit that sounds pretty whore-y," Lissa pointed out. "And you said you made up though, right?"

I nodded. "I saw her yesterday before she left. She saw the sonogram, and we talked for a bit. It was really weird. I think I wanted her to stay," I said, frowning.

Lissa smiled. "You miss her," she said gently.

Up until that point we had been alone, obscured by the trees that surrounded us. But at that point I heard a definite snap of a branch, and we both froze.

"Maybe a deer?" Lissa asked quietly, looking over her shoulders slowly.

I shook my head. "A deer wouldn't have made that much noise, or crushed a branch. And have you noticed the lack of animals? They won't come near me," I said, looking around as well. The realization dawned on us. We stared at each other in horror—someone had overheard.

**Stranger's POV**

Seeing them disappear into the woods, I knew I had to follow them. Something was going on with Rose Hathaway, and I was going to be the one to figure it out.

I stalked through the woods, making as little noise as possible. I heard their murmurs and laughs and tried to creep closer. I glided through the trees and paused when I could finally hear their voices.

"…to tell Kirova and Olendski that?" I heard Lissa say. I strained to pick up their words but didn't dare move in case they heard me.

"No. I told them I don't know who the father is," Rose said. I gasped, and then grinned.

Lisa apparently didn't take the news well. "Rose! You can't do that! Now they'll say-"

"That I'm a whore? I know. You should have heard my mother," Rose laughed.

So. Rose was pregnant. I contemplated all the things I could do with this information. There were so many possibilities, and I relished imagining them all. There was the usual, the tell-as-many-people-as-possible-and-let-it-spread. Or I could find the one person who would take this the worst and let _them _spread it. Or, my personal favorite- _snap!_ I mentally swore. I'd leaned too far forward without realizing it and stumbled to keep myself from falling, sinking my foot through a rotted branch. Shit.

"Maybe a deer?" Lissa asked quietly, looking around her fearfully. I ducked behind a tree so as not to be seen, trying to free my foot from the branch's grasp.

"A deer wouldn't have made that much noise, or crushed a branch. And have you noticed the lack of animals? They won't come near me," Rose muttered, checking her surroundings as well. I faded into the background, gliding through the woods and out the way I came, still smiling. Whatever happened, Rose Hathaway was going down. And I was going to be the one to make her pay.


	13. Let the Gossip Begin

**Sorry it took awhile for me to update! I loved the reviews :). Please tell me what you think of this one!**

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><p>When I walked into the cafeteria the next morning, still rubbing the last bits of sleep from my eyes, it was like walking into a brick wall. All the noise, chatter, and laughter seemed to stop for a moment. I blinked, confused, but then it picked up again. I shook my head. Maybe I needed my ears checked.<p>

I was about to get in the food line when I saw Lissa beckoning me over. Seeing she had a tray of food I was pretty sure wasn't for her, I trotted over and sat across from her. Christian and Eddie were nowhere to be seen.

"Hey, is that for me?" I asked cheerily as I reached for a strip of bacon. It was nice to be having a good day for once, all of yesterday's fears sounding trivial and irrelevant. I looked around. "Where are Eddie and Sparky?"

Lissa nudged the tray towards me but ignored my question. "Rose, someone heard us talking yesterday," she said carefully, watching me as I dug into the potatoes.

"I think I overreacted, Liss. You were probably right about the deer," I said in between mouthfuls. I was starving.

"No. I mean, someone _did _hear us. And they spread it around the school," Lissa finished hastily.

My plastic fork fell from my hands. Up until then I'd been happy to tune out the world, but I let it back in to hear the whispers and see the glances and glares. Concern, worry, and frustration radiated from the bond—Lissa desperately wanted to protect me, and she hated the fact that she couldn't. Not from this.

"I'm dead," I said in disbelief. I'd thought this might happen, but in my mind I'd walked with my head high, proving these people couldn't bother me. Unfortunately, that wasn't how things worked. "I am so dead."

"You've dealt with worse rumors before," Lissa said hastily, looking around and glaring at a few Moroi who were glancing our way.

"But this one is actually true," I moaned, shoving my still-loaded tray away. I just wanted to run out of that room and away from the stares I could feel burning the back of my head. But I couldn't seem weak. Not now. Lissa eyed me sadly.

"Where are Christian and Eddie, anyway?" I asked wearily.

"I didn't think it would be a good idea for them to be here when…you heard," Lissa said, staring down at the table.

"Are they mad?" I asked, incredulous.

"No. But I think Eddie is a little hurt," Lissa admitted.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. "This sucks."

Lissa looked around us again, challenging the stares of our classmates. They were like a pack of wolves, devouring their own at the first sign of weakness, I thought to myself. A hysteric laugh bubbled to my lips at the thought, and I fought to hold it back.

"Let's get out of here, Rose," Lissa said anxiously. I looked over to where she was staring and saw Jesse and Ralph making their way over to us. I stood up, ready to take them on.

"Rose," Lissa warned. We were attracting even more glances now, and some socially inept people sat there gawking at us.

"Hey Rose," Jesse drawled, grinning. Ralph stood slightly behind him, copying his expression.

"Go away, Jesse," Lissa snapped. I could feel her anger growing through the bond.

Jesse ignored her. "How's your baby daddy doing?" He smirked.

"Jesse, haven't you heard?" Ralph pretended to look angrily at Jesse. "Rose doesn't even know who he is."

"Shut the hell up," I growled, tensing up to attack. Lissa put her hand on my arm to stop me.

"Ooooh," Jesse said, still smiling. I longed to punch the smug expression off his face. "Careful, Rose. You might upset the baby."

I couldn't take it anymore. "That's it!" I cried l as I lunged for him, but a pair of strong arms wrapped around me to hold me back. Shouts erupted in the cafeteria from dhampirs and Moroi alike. Jesse and Ralph suddenly looked terrified as they jumped back.

I felt an inhuman growl escape my lips as I fought against my captor. "Rose! Rose, stop it! Calm down!" I heard Eddie yell.

I was beyond reasoning; I just wanted to punch somebody. I felt my chance slipping away as Jesse and Ralph ran for it, and after a few moments I stopped straining. The bell rang to get to first period, and the rest of the students filed out of the cafeteria, grumbling about the interrupted fight. Eddie never released his hold on me.

"I've got her," he murmured to Lissa. She hesitated, looking at me. I could see how pathetic I seemed through her eyes, though that wasn't the word that came to her mind. She didn't want to leave me like that.

"It's alright, Liss," I sighed, wrenching myself free of Eddie's arms. "I'll catch up to you later."

"If you're sure," Lissa said dubiously.

I nodded. "See you later." She turned and exited the cafeteria, leaving Eddie and me standing alone.

I turned to face him. "You didn't need to do that," I snapped.

Eddie snorted. "Someone has to try to keep you from doing stupid things. Not that anyone actually can." I could hear the betrayal he felt reverberating in his words.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked defensively, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You know what it means. Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?" Eddie asked.

"I just couldn't," I said quietly, looking at the wall behind Eddie. I couldn't bring myself to look in his eyes.

"That's a bullshit answer, Rose." Eddie said evenly.

I sighed exasperatedly and threw my hands in the air. "Because I didn't want _this_ to happen. Because I didn't want you to hate me. Because I was scared."

Eddie frowned. "You can tell me anything, Rose. I thought you knew that."

"I did. I mean, I do. It just…seemed easier to keep everything quiet. I didn't even tell Lissa for awhile," I confessed.

Eddie hesitated before he spoke again. "Is it true? You don't know who the father is?"

I stared at him, weighing my options. I didn't want to lie to him; I owed him the truth. But I had to protect Dimitri, whatever the cost. "Yes," I said. I could feel my throat tightening.

I hated the look that crossed Eddie's face. Disapproval, distrust, and disappointment shone through his eyes, and I was hit with the overwhelming urge to cry. "Rose," he said softly. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," was all I could manage to choke out.

"You're the best novice there is. Everyone says so. You'll be the best guardian anyone has ever seen, but not like this. Don't throw it all away," he said sadly. I struggled to find anger or resentment in his voice, anything that would make his words sound unreasonable. But I knew he was being totally honest with me in a way I hadn't been with him.

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. "Eddie, I'm so-"

He pulled me against him in a hug. "I know. It's okay," he said soothingly. "Just…take care of yourself, okay? We need you to be here. Lissa needs you." He held me at arm's length and looked into my eyes.

I nodded and tried to smile. "Okay."

"I'm here if you need me, Rose. If you ever need to talk. Or if you need someone to keep you from being an idiot again," Eddie said, the smallest of smiles appearing on his face.

"Thanks, Eddie," I said gratefully, managing to smile this time. He gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze and walked away, leaving me standing alone in the cafeteria. A huge part of me wanted to curl under the covers of my bed and sleep, but I knew that now wasn't the time for backing down. _This is the worst of it,_ I told myself. _It's all uphill from here_. Unfortunately, I misjudged just how steep that hill actually was.

* * *

><p>I spent the first half of the rest of the day pretending to listen to Dimitri teach. In actuality, I was digging through the recesses of my mind, trying to come up with an explanation for how my condition had been made public. Who had heard? Who hated me that much that they would trail me just for the chance of digging up some dirt? I knew tons of people who didn't like me, and I wouldn't put it past any of them to spread a rumor about me, especially if they thought it was true. But it was the following part that bothered me. Who was that good? It had to be a dhampir. No one else could keep so quiet that I wouldn't notice them. But who had I pissed off that badly?<p>

I refused point-blank to go to lunch, and instead opted for a walk outside. I'd had little time to stretch my legs lately, and I missed my combat training. I'd asked Dimitri why I couldn't keep running laps and fighting the dummies, but he wouldn't even consider the idea.

"I couldn't stand it if something happened to you or the baby," he'd told me. "I can't put either of you at risk." So I was forced to listen to him talk about guarding theory and boring ideas I already knew.

As I walked around one of the Moroi dorms I saw a group of six guys hanging around a couple of the benches. I kept my distance when I noticed that two were Jesse and Ralph. I watched the group from afar, and started when I picked up on something I'd never noticed before. I stared and stared and stared, piecing together every bit of information I knew about one of the Moroi. And suddenly it hit me—I knew who was to blame for the news leaking out. I silently backed into the woods and headed towards my next class. No matter how much I wanted to attack the one responsible for me being number one on the gossip list, I couldn't really leap into action right then. I needed time to think clearly without acting rashly. Seems funny, huh? That was probably a first for me.

"Are you okay?" Lissa asked me when I took my seat in Slavic art a few hours later. I nodded. "How did things go with Eddie?" Lissa asked, glancing back at him. I'd been dying to voice my suspicions to Lissa, but it didn't seem like a good idea with Eddie hanging around as her guardian. I wasn't intentionally lying to him; it was the fact that he would probably try to bash the guy's head in if he heard what I'd figured out that stopped me from telling him. Eddie was like my big brother. My very strong, protective big brother, to be precise.

"Alright, I guess. He's not mad at me, at least," I tried to say dismissively. Truth be told, I was wracked with guilt. Because the one thing Eddie hadn't mentioned that I knew must have bothered him was Mason. Eddie treated me like I had been his best friend's girlfriend, which, because of my obsession with Dimitri, was something I could never settle for being. But in Eddie's eyes I had been, and to be whoring around must have seemed like a big slap in the face to the boy who'd always thought the best of me.

Lissa saw through my act. "He just needs some time. Everyone does. It'll blow over before you know it," Lissa said. Before I could say anything the teacher walked in, and Lissa and I immediately shut up. We didn't want any more attention aimed at us than there already was.

Before I walked out the door after class, I took a little detour by Ralph's desk. The smallest of twitches from my hand brought Ralph's bag crashing off his desk to the floor. He swore as the bag's contents spilled out and he bent down to pick it up. I followed the rest of the class out of the room, but instead of heading toward the Moroi dorms with the rest of them I backed into the line of trees and waited. I made myself visible the moment I saw him leave the building, and he froze when he saw me approach.

"Rose," Ralph said, trying and failing to seem nonchalant. I could hear the fear in his words and almost smiled. He wasn't so tough without Jesse to stand in front of him.

"You followed me yesterday, didn't you." It wasn't a question.

Ralph gulped. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I laughed harshly. "Cut the crap. I know it was you. Ever since that whole Mia thing you've been dying to get me back. Now you think you have."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. The only thing I heard was from Jess-"

"Yes you do, and no it wasn't," I snapped, slowly advancing on him. "You know," I said in a mock-pensive voice, "you're not as dumb as you seem. I mean, you _are_ an idiot, but you're a better one than Jesse. You hide behind him but pull the strings. Clever. That way no one goes after you, huh?" I said.

"How does that make me an idiot?" Ralph asked, still trying to seem tough. The effect was kind of ruined by the way he stumbled in trying to back away. Too bad he backed into the brick wall behind him.

"Because you're playing with fire, Ralph," I said dangerously, my voice starting to rise in anger. "Because you've made me very, very angry. And that means you should be very, very scared." I was right in his face, and I saw the terror in his eyes. My hand twitched, itching to make him hurt like he'd tried to hurt me. But I knew that was what he was expecting. So I did something that I knew would keep him scared for weeks to come.

I walked away like a hero from an explosion, never looking back.


	14. Fighting and Family

**Okay, this might be my last update for a few days. I'm going to be camping, so the closest I can come to updating will be writing in a notebook to type up later. Also-I love all of the reviews! **

**This is my longest chapter so far, even without the surprise at the end, and I'd like to know what you think. :)  
><strong>

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><p>"…obviously a blood whore."<p>

I spun around, my mouth instantly transforming into a snarl, ready to attack whoever was stupid enough to whisper about me in a voice that I could hear. The moment I turned, however, anyone remotely close to me was looking away, pretending they hadn't been staring at me. I dropped the wolf face but didn't relax. It seemed that every time I let my guard down, someone else dared to whisper about me as I passed. And I was getting pretty damn tired of it at this point.

I kept walking toward the building that housed my animal behavior and physiology class. It had been just a few days since Ralph leaked out my secret, but it felt like months. I was now six weeks pregnant, and throwing up every freaking morning without fail. So far my lay-low tactic wasn't working to my advantage; if anything, people were growing bolder and almost insulting me to my face. It was the blood whore rumor all over again, only this time there was no one to turn it on. I was going to have to figure out a way to end this.

I was relieved to leave the dark courtyard behind and enter the brightly lit hallway. That was, until I noticed a group of royals staring at me and standing right before the animal behavior room. "Can't go under them, can't go around them," I muttered under my breath, finishing the line from an old children's book. But honestly, I didn't really want to find a way around them. If they were looking for trouble, I would gladly give it to them.

"Oh, speak of the devil!" a girl I recognized as Carly called out as I approached. She stepped towards me. "Rose, we were just talking about you," she gushed. I looked at her like she was crazy. I may be wrong here, but wasn't it kind of, I don't know, bad to tell someone you were gossiping about them?

"You see, Camille here had this great idea," Carly trailed off, looking at Camille. A few of the boys in the group snickered.

"Yeah Camille, tell her your great idea," Xander Badica said, grinning.

Camille muttered something that sounded like "you tell her" and looked away. Though she was definitely a two-faced bitch, she wasn't the worst of them. I could tell she felt guilty.

"I'm waiting," I snapped. These people were wasting my time.

"Well, we were just placing a few bets on who the father is. My money's on Jesse. I mean, who's to say he was lying before? Once a blood whore, always a blood whore, right Rose?" Xander laughed as he draped his arm around my shoulders.

I could practically feel the steam blowing out of my ears. The entire group started to chuckle. My anger rose until it was a tidal wave and before I knew what I had done, I spun around and grabbed Xander's arm, twisting as I threw it off, and punched him in the nose. There was a highly satisfying crunch, a moment's pause, and then Carly shrieked.

"Ohmygod! You just hit him!" She wailed as Xander buckled and fell to the ground. "Somebody get help!" A few passersby looked on in amusement but said nothing. I had to give it to Xander—he didn't make a sound as he tried to stench the blood streaming from his nose.

I bent over so my face was inches away from his. "Who's bleeding now?" I hissed as I pushed him back. I stalked away, shoving the door open and once again emerging into the cool night air. I knew there would be hell to pay later, but at the moment I didn't care. I walked with my head high as people rushed past me, eager to see what the screaming was about. Good god that girl had a voice; you could hear her halfway across the campus. I shook my head and headed to my dorm. I was taking the rest of the day off.

* * *

><p>I wasn't surprised to hear Lissa knock on my door about forty five minutes later. "What's up, Liss?" I asked, my eyes immediately falling to her hands. She held a Ben and Jerry's container of ice cream. I think I might have whimpered.<p>

Lissa smiled and held it out to me, along with a spoon. "Thought you might need a little pick me up," she said.

I took it gratefully. "Oh, chocolate therapy. You're good," I said, letting her in and closing the door behind her. She sat cross legged on my bed, and I sat back against my pillows, digging into my ice cream.

"So how long can you stay before they'll notice you're gone?" I asked after a few mouthfuls.

Lissa yawned. "They probably already realized it. But it doesn't matter—I'm skipping." Though she was trying to play it cool, I could hear the excitement in Lissa's words. To her, this was badass.

"Well, aren't we a little rebel," I said, amused. Lissa grinned. "So what brings you here?"

"I miss hanging out with you. We never have time anymore," Lissa said sadly, leaning against my wall.

"I know. Life's a bitch." I immediately took a huge bite of my chocolate ice cream to emphasize the point, and we both cracked up.

"You make a great pregnant teenager," Lissa said, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Why thank you, Princess." I gave a mock bow. Lissa let her head fall against the wall, her eyes closed.

"Are you alright?" I asked, watching her in concern. She looked exhausted, and the bond felt fuzzy, almost as if she wasn't tuned in the right way.

"Yeah. I'm just…worried," Lissa said, opening her eyes to look at me. "About the future. I've been thinking a lot about it. I'm scared to go to court, Rose. I don't want to go without you." I could tell she was trying to hold back tears.

"It'll be fine," I said, putting my ice cream tub down for a moment. "Those royals need someone to shake things up a bit. And I won't be gone forever, Liss. It's not the end of the world."

Lissa smiled wryly. "When did you become the wise one?"

"I've always been wise. I just choose not to show off." I swung my hair back for dramatic effect. Lissa laughed again, but it died out after a moment and was replaced by a frown.

"Rose, did you really punch Xander in the face?" she asked, looking troubled.

"He's lucky I didn't kick him in his balls," I gurgled through a mouth full of half-melted ice cream.

"Ew, Rose, that's gross. And I know he must have been being a total asshole, but you have to watch it—they _want _you to get angry. It's entertainment for them." I could sense Lissa's worry, but I couldn't take the whispers and glares any longer. If it was a fight they wanted, then it was a fight they would get.

"Well, they won't find it so funny anymore. You should have heard Carly screaming," I chuckled. After a moment's frown of disapproval, Lissa joined too.

"I think pretty much the entire school heard her," she said, playing with a loose thread on my comforter.

"Good. It'll get the message out," I said firmly.

Lissa rolled her eyes. "You've been cooped up in this room too long; you're starting to go mental. Which is why you're spending tonight and tomorrow night in my room for a weekend movie marathon."

I groaned. "Please, not the crappy romance movies."

Lissa's eyes gleamed. "Oh yes. We're talking 'The Notebook,' 'Titanic,' 'Pearl Harbor' and anything else I can think of."

"Kill me now," I pleaded jokingly. "Or bring out the Bollywood. Just please, not 'The Notebook!'"

"Nope. We're doing a girl's night," Lissa said resolutely. "I need a break too."

Truthfully, I liked the idea of hanging out with Lissa for the weekend. Graduation was only two weeks away, and we were running out of time to be together. Pretty soon she would be at court and I would be…somewhere, getting ready for the baby. Our teenage lives were almost over, and we were going to have to pretend to be grown up. But not just yet. For now, we would enjoy life like we were supposed to. The worrying could start later—I wasn't in any rush.

* * *

><p>Two hours later I heard a heavy knock on my door. Lissa had left half an hour ago to meet with Christian for a little while before our girl's night, so I knew it couldn't be her. Climbing out of bed I swung the door open to see an uncomfortable Eddie staring at me.<p>

"Hey, Eddie," I said, not very surprised. "Kirova sent you?"

He nodded. "She needs you in her office," he said apologetically.

I looked down at my sweats and tank top and shrugged. "Lead the way, messenger man."

Eddie walked quickly down the hallway, and I found myself trotting to catch up. I frowned when I could feel my lungs working to take in oxygen on the stairs; I was falling out of shape, and fast. If only Dimitri would let me train again.

Eddie left me in front of Kirova's office and patted my arm lightly. "For the record, all the novices were cheering," he whispered, smiling, as he turned to leave.

"Miss Hathaway!" Kirova barked from her office doorway. I whirled around and slowly made my way over to the door.

"Kirova," I said pleasantly.

"Sit down," Kirova snapped. I plopped down in the same chair I'd been in the day Kirova called me down when Dr. Olendski told her I was pregnant. It felt like years ago.

"Miss Hathaway, as I know you're aware, fighting is prohibited at this school, and-"

"With all due respect," I interrupted, smiling slightly, "I wouldn't exactly call that a fight."

Kirova stared at me exasperatedly. "Physical contact of any kind is not allowed. In addition to assaulting a student, you skipped half a day's worth of classes. You've broken school rules, and I have no choice but to suspend you. You will attend classes and meals, but that is all. You will stay confined to your room." She straightened a few piles of paper on her desk.

"Oh, goodie," I said sourly, yawning.

"With one exception." I raised my eyes to her face questioningly. "You will return to your therapy sessions every day after your last class." I groaned. They'd let me quit therapy when I started acting normal again, a little while after the cabin incident. After my night with Dimitri the ghosts seemed to fade away, and I liked to think it was because my own inner torment that I felt in being denied Dimitri was now gone. But of course that was only one theory. Still, I didn't like the idea of going back to Deirdre. She made me examine my life too much, something I wasn't very fond of doing.

"Joy," I muttered sarcastically.

Kirova narrowed her eyes at me slightly. "I don't like your attitude, Miss Hathaway," she said warningly.

"I'm not a big fan of yours either. Let's just agree to…not like each other," I said as I stood up and stretched.

Kirova sighed. I thought I heard a quiet laugh, but I must have imagined it. "Goodbye, Miss Hathaway," she said, amused. Her serious face was gone.

"See you later," I said amiably as I walked out of the room. If she didn't hate me as much as she had reason to, and if I wasn't sure that I'd end up back in her office for something stupid within the next two weeks, I might have said that Kirova and I _almost_ seemed like friends.

* * *

><p>I had just ascended the stairs to my hallway (which, by the way, is unoccupied except for me, therefore it is 'my hallway') when I saw a dark figure leaning against a wall. I tensed for a moment but relaxed when I recognized the familiar scent of aftershave.<p>

"Dimitri," I said happily as he made his way over to me. He pulled me into a hug and then lightly kissed my lips. Dimitri had a very strong sense of job importance, so even though I saw him for hours every morning, that was strictly teacher-student time, no kisses allowed. Of course, there was that time yesterday morning…and after class today…But still, it was nice to see him without having to pretend to listen to him lecture.

"Roza," he murmured, holding me tight. I sighed and tried to let go of all the things that bothered me. No more Ralph, no more Xander, no more suspension. Unfortunately, those things couldn't just float away.

"How are you feeling?" He asked over the top of my head. I pulled back so I could look at him.

"Okay. Kind of stressed, I guess," I admitted.

He frowned. "Why, what's wrong?"

I laughed. "Have you not heard everyone talking?" I asked, trying and failing to not show how much it bothered me.

Dimitri looked away. I immediately realized I'd said the wrong thing. "Okay, I'm going to stop your deep internal struggle right there, comrade. Don't you dare tell anyone the truth."

He ran a hand through his hair and looked back at me. I could see the anger and anguish burning in his eyes, his frustration at not being able to help. "This is hurting you, Rose. I can't stand by and watch, not when I could stop it so easily."

I shook my head. "It would ruin both of us, Dimitri. Who would hire one of us? And graduation is only two weeks away. Just two more weeks and it isn't a problem," I said persuasively.

"This isn't right," he said, slamming his fist into the wall. I jumped back in surprise. Dimitri always had such perfect self control.

"Calm down, cowboy. This is what I want." I reached for his hand, but he pulled it away. "Dimitri," I groaned.

"I can't forgive myself for this, Rose. I've already ruined your life," he said.

I reached for his hand again, and this time he let me keep it. "No you haven't," I said gently. "Think of it as an adventure. One we can have together." I reached up and put a hand on his cheek. He rested one of his hands over it but didn't remove mine.

"Roza," he whispered thickly. I turned my hand over to take his and brought it to my stomach after lifting up my tank top slightly. Not the best clothes for a perfect romantic moment, but you make do with what you have.

"This is our baby, Dimitri, and I love it. I'm not sorry any of this happened, and I don't want you to be either," I said, looking into his eyes. His gaze fell to my stomach, and then he crouched down. His hands held my belly and he kissed it gently, running his fingers over my soft skin. I smiled.

He stood back up and pulled me closer. "I love you, Roza, and our baby. And I swear to you, nothing will ever hurt either of you as long as I'm here." The look in his eyes was so intense, so real, it practically burned me.

"I love you, Dimitri," I whispered. He brought his lips to mine, and kissed me so long and hard I was dizzy from lack of oxygen. I backed up to the wall as his hands played with the hem on my shirt, lifting it up again. I held him tightly, my nails practically digging into his back. I had just reached for his shirt when he backed away slightly.

"Dimitri," I growled angrily.

Amusement glinted in his dark eyes. "I almost forgot something," he said as he picked up a plastic bag I hadn't noticed before. I frowned as he gave it to me.

"What's this?" I asked, spinning the bag around and trying to figure out what was inside.

Dimitri chuckled. "Open it and you'll find out."

I did as he said and pulled out a bottle of prenatal vitamins. I looked at him wordlessly.

"I, um, called that doctor to see what kind you should have…I want to make sure you're both healthy," he said, blushing a little bit. I grinned. He was adorable.

I hugged him tightly. "Thank you," I whispered. I'd known that Dimitri cared about me, but I hadn't been as sure about the baby. All his apologizing and agonizing over it made me think he didn't want it. Maybe it's stupid to see prenatal vitamins as a promise, but I did. I knew, really _knew _that Dimitri would stay with us, and that set my heart on fire. We were like a family, I thought happily to myself as Dimitri kissed me gently. I was surprised how that word zinged through my mind. Part of me wondered if it was because a family was something I'd never really had, but I decided to ignore that part. My life was no longer about the things denied me—it was about everything I was about to find instead.

* * *

><p><strong>On that romantic note, I have to share this with you guys. My brother's friend was watching me type up chapter 12 I think it was and he decided he was going to finish the chapter for me. This is completely unedited and exactly what he wrote. Also—keep in mind that 1. He has never heard of VA and 2. We were watching the first part of the seventh Harry Potter movie at the time and I was mad because in the movie the bridesmaid dress was grey, not gold like J.K said it was. So, read this for a laugh :) <strong>

"its alrght dont be sorry!" I exclaimed angrily at Lissa SWAG!. "Yo man cheeel" Lissa screamed at me. "lissa listin to me I love you!" I screamed and *BOOM* *BOOM* and lissa dropped o the floor? "Woah now rose just put the gun down where did you even get that gun?" calmly said principle kirova.?"get da fuck outa my school you crazy a** B****" said pincincple kirova

AND J.K ROWLING LIES ABOUT THE COOR OF HER DRESSES IT WAS GOLD I SWEAR GOLD!

FIN.


	15. Anger Management

**Annnd I'm back :). Thank you all so much for the reviews! Seriously, they make me glow. My friend laughs at me every time I log in and see them because I get so excited. **

**So, this chapter is mainly to bring someone back who I'm sure everyone has missed oh so much. Not exactly sure how I feel about this one, but the next couple chapters will be a little more interesting, so please keep reading!**

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><p>After Dimitri left I headed to Lissa's room to cancel our weekend plans, all thanks to my suspension. I jumped a little when I felt a surge of happiness through the bond, but tried not to get sucked in—she was probably still with Christian.<p>

_Rose, come to my room. Someone's here._ Lissa's excited voice rang through the bond. I broke into a run and sprinted for her room. She opened the door before I could knock and pulled me inside.

"Little Dhampir," a familiar voice called from Lissa's bed.

"You're back!" I exclaimed, a grin instantly springing to my face.

Adrian smiled. "I told you you couldn't keep me away," he said as he hopped off the bed. I strode over and he swept me into a bear hug, practically crushing me.

"How long will you be here?" I asked when he finally released me. He left an arm hanging over my shoulder.

"I'm at your disposal until graduation. Longer, if you're following Lissa to court," he said cheerily. I nonchalantly slipped out from under his arm. I didn't meet his eyes as I backed up a step to Lissa, knowing the sad look I'd find there, the one he always seemed to be wearing around me.

"Speaking of graduation, I'm thinking we need a trip to the mall for dresses," Lissa chirped, a little too happily, after a short awkward pause.

I sighed. "Can't, Liss. I was actually on my way to tell you Kirova suspended me until further notice." For some reason, I didn't want to mention Deirdre. I think I was embarrassed to admit I needed therapy. Last time I'd gone to her, I'd known that I wasn't really crazy, even though I'd questioned it at some point. But now, who knew? Maybe I was a ticking bomb waiting to go off.

Adrian raised an eyebrow, his expression once again amused. "What did you do now?"

"She punched Xander Badica in the face and broke his nose," Lissa explained. "I guess this ruins our plans, then."

I nodded. "Sorry," I said helplessly. Lissa shrugged as if it didn't matter, but I could feel her resentment. She wished I would stop ending up in trouble all the time. The pregnancy thing she understood, but not the fighting or the suspensions. She was annoyed at my rash behavior, but guilt immediately flared up after the thought. I was who I was, and she loved me for that. Still, my own guilt flashed through me. I hated letting her down.

"Little Dhampir," Adrian laughed, "I'm not sure if I dare ask why you felt the need to break someone's nose just before graduation. Stakes are a little high right now, don't you think?"

I jumped back onto Lissa's bed, lying down across it with my legs dangling over the edge and my hands folded over my stomach. "He was being an ass," I said as I examined Lissa's ceiling.

Lissa folded herself onto her bed as well, and Adrian took the computer chair. "Lots of people are like that. What made him so special?" Adrian asked.

I didn't say anything.

"He and his friends were taking bets on who the father is," Lissa said quietly.

Adrian's smile faded. "So it's out then." It wasn't a question, but I nodded, still not looking at him. "And I take it no one knows about Belikov?"

I shook my head. "Just you two. I said I didn't know who the father is."

Adrian rolled his eyes. "Or course you did. Don't want Belikov to have to own up to what he did." I could hear the angry bite in his words.

I struggled to sit up and crossed my arms over my chest, my eyes narrowing at Adrian. "'What he did?' It's not like I didn't agree to it, Adrian. And He could lose his job. This is the easiest way."

"Easy for who? Definitely not you," Adrian snorted, ignoring the first part. I could feel Lissa's anxiety peak—she didn't want us to fight.

"It's not going to be easy for me no matter what," I snapped. "And it isn't easy for him either. He feels really guilty." I realized how lame the words sounded as soon as I said them, but it was too late. Couldn't take them back now.

Adrian laughed drily. "Guilty? I hope so. He should be doing everything possible to help you, Rose. How does 'feeling guilty' take care of you or the baby?"

"Adrian, that's enough," Lissa said quietly. We both ignored her.

"I don't need anyone's help. I'm doing just fine," I snarled, rising from the bed.

"You're a pregnant teenager. You don't have a clue what you're doing," Adrian countered, standing up as well.

"Guys, cut it out!" Lissa said urgently.

"I can take care of myself!" I yelled, my arms now balled into fists at my sides.

"You shouldn't have to. Belikov should be the one taking the hit. He had sex with a student, and-"

"Oh, don't give me that," I said harshly. "I knew what I was doing. And he's doing what he can. He's helping me just by being here. You think they'd let him stay here if they knew? They'd send him somewhere else or fire him entirely. I'd be alone." I didn't mean for my voice to crack, but it did. I sat wearily on the bed again, the fight all but gone from me. Lissa squeezed my arm sympathetically. I took a deep breath. "I need Dimitri to be here. He feels horrible about this, but he's always there for me. I'm not doing this by myself." Though I was still angry at Adrian, I knew he was only angry because he cared. To him, it must have seemed like Dimitri deserted me.

Adrian didn't say a word, but his eyes betrayed his fury. Whether it was aimed at Dimitri or me I didn't know, but I knew it was time for me to leave. I stood up again and turned to Lissa. "I have to go. I'll see you at breakfast." Lissa nodded and hugged me.

I left the room without a glance at Adrian, leaving him staring after me as I slammed Lissa's door. I tried to imagine slamming the door to my heart, locking Adrian out forever. I hadn't even noticed he'd found a way to wriggle inside it, but I wanted him out. It was too painful, and I could never return his feelings. I didn't even want to try.

Three days later I sat curled up on Dimitri's bed, wrapped in a warm blanket. I couldn't stand being in my room any longer under the suspension, so that evening I had carefully snuck out and knocked on his door. He had been reading one of his westerns and was happy to offer me sanctuary.

It was almost one in the morning, and I leaned my head against Dimitri's shoulder tiredly. One of his arms was wrapped around my waist, and the other was flipping a page of his book. I yawned.

"Finally getting sleepy?" Dimitri asked amusedly, tearing his gaze away from the page.

"Yes," I muttered, closing my eyes.

Dimitri closed his book. "Maybe I should get you back to your room, then. It might look suspicious if I have to carry you back later," he said, positioning me so that I was almost on his lap.

"I don't know. Can I just stay here?" I asked tiredly.

Dimitri gave a little groan. "Oh Roza, I wish you could. I wish you never had to leave. But I never know when a guardian could come bursting in here, and finding you in my bed would be-"

"Really bad. I get it," I sighed as I opened my eyes and sat up. I looked over to his nightstand and saw a picture I'd viewed a dozen times before, the one of his entire family that he must have taken.

"Do you miss them? Your family, I mean," I asked suddenly.

Dimitri looked puzzled. "Of course I do. I love them all very much."

"Have you told them about the baby?" I still stared at the photo, trying to imagine what it would be like to have a family to love, to have siblings to fight with and protect. I told myself Lissa was just as good, if not better. It's not like she stole my clothes or read my diary or anything. Not that I have a diary, but that's beside the point.

Dimitri folded the corner of his page and closed the book. "No, I haven't."

"Do you want to?" I couldn't take my eyes off the smiling women and children in the photograph.

He sighed. "I thought you wanted my part in this a secret."

"I do. But they live in Russia. Who're they going to tell?" I asked, looking up at him. Something was off—he was too guarded, too hesitant. It was weird.

Dimitri frowned. "I don't think it's a good idea to tell them just yet," he said gently, rubbing his hand over my shoulder.

"Why not?" I was surprised to feel tears welling in my eyes. I felt rejected, like he didn't want me. Like he was ashamed of me.

He shifted me so I could face him without turning my head. "I've thought about it a lot, Rose. I wish I could. But you're my student, and I don't think it would sit very well with them. They might be-"

"Disappointed?" I said bitterly. Was he serious right now? Did he not realize the hell I'd been going through this past week? Adrian's anger over Dimitri getting off without any of the ridicule I had to face flowed back to me. It seemed pretty logical at the moment.

"Rose, that's not what I-"

I jumped up from the bed. "No. Forget it, comrade. I get it. You don't want them to be angry at you. You don't want them to hate you or tell _everyone_ about it or have people insult you to your face. You don't want them to judge you."

Dimitri's face was filled with remorse and understanding. I turned to make a dramatic exit, knowing he was going to try to formulate an apology I wasn't ready to accept. Instead he simply said "You're right."

I whipped around. He was standing beside the bed, palms up as if to show me he wasn't going to hurt me. "I don't want that, Rose. But you've had to live through that, and I've gotten off easy. It's not fair at all. But if you mean what you said before about telling people after graduation, we will. We'll tell my family.

I tried to swallow the lump rising in my throat. "We?" I managed to choke out.

Dimitri nodded. "I'll take you to Russia to meet them. This kind of conversation shouldn't be held over the phone." He offered me a little half-smile. I could see how that idea scared him. Maybe his family was scarier than they seemed to be. Still, he seemed like he meant it. I relaxed.

"Really?" I asked.

"I promise. As soon as you graduate we'll go. They'll love you," he added, his smile growing slightly.

I walked back over, my previous anger now gone. Damn these hormones—I couldn't tell which anger was real and rational and which was totally unjustified. "You think so?" I asked uncertainly.

Dimitri wrapped his arms around me again. "I know so."

* * *

><p>Dimitri took me back to my room a short while after, telling me to get some sleep both for my sake and for the baby's. I nodded and he kissed me tenderly.<p>

"I love you so much it hurts me, Roza." He brushed his lips against mine again.

"I love you too." Though I was still a little upset, I knew I needed Dimitri. I loved him, and I knew we would be able to figure out our problems. Because he was worth it, worth everything I'd gone through this past year.

I trudged into my room when he left, flicked on the light switch, and jumped into a defensive stance the moment I saw the shadow move. I relaxed slightly, but not much, when I realized the stranger sitting on my bed was Adrian.

"What do you want?" I asked as I shut the door, already resigned to talk to him. We hadn't spoken in the past three days and I was tired of ignoring him. I didn't even care how he'd broken into my room; I just wanted to sleep.

"To apologize," he said plainly.

I sat in my chair, arms folded over my chest, and waited for him to continue.

He cleared his throat. "I shouldn't have said what I did. Belikov obviously cares about you." He raised an eyebrow slightly, and I knew he'd heard our murmured goodbye outside my door.

"He does," I confirmed, staring back at him evenly.

"It's just not right that everything is falling on you," Adrian said sadly.

I let my arms drop to my lap. "Only for a little while. Then it'll get easier." I shrugged. I was invincible. These people couldn't hurt me. At least, that's what I told myself.

Adrian sighed and looked out towards the window in my room for a moment before looking back at me. "I have to admire you, Little Dhampir."

"Why?" I asked, startled. I hadn't expected that.

"Because I've heard what these idiots are saying, and I know you have too. Yet you act as if it doesn't faze you."

"Not true. Xander?" I reminded him.

"That was badass. No one sees it like you do—you were afraid. Still are. But through all of this," he made a motion to my stomach, "you've never stopped being the same indescribable you. You're got a reason to be proud."

I stared at him, dumbfounded. "Are you serious right now?" Second time I'd asked that tonight. Well, the first time I'd said it out loud, at least.

Adrian laughed and stretched out on my bed. "Totally and completely. You're strong, Rose. That's something that will never change, no matter what people say."

I was honest-to-god touched. It felt good to have earned someone's respect again, even If it was Adrian's. Shows how far my self-esteem sank, huh?

Adrian rose and headed to my door. He was about to leave but turned his head to look at me again. "He isn't the only one who cares, you know," he said.

I groaned. "Adrian?"

"Yes?"

"You're ruining the moment."

"Right." And he walked out.

I threw myself on my bed and kicked off my shoes. Sometimes it was all too much, I thought blearily. Dimitri, the man I loved; Adrian, the man who loved me. Lissa, who I would quite possibly never be able to guard like we'd always planned. The baby, who I loved fiercely but had no idea how to care for or protect. I was a sea of swirling emotions. As I drifted off to sleep, I wondered if maybe I should stop skipping my therapy sessions and actually show up after school. Who knows, I thought, maybe she'd actually help me or something. Then I thought, yeah, when Strigoi fly.


	16. Planning

**So, here's 16. Lots of explaining going on, but it's pretty essential. Sorry it took me so long-I was in New York for the weekend. Such a drag, huh? :) Anyway, please tell me what you think!**

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><p>"Can you sneak out tonight?" Lissa asked as she held the door to the Slavic art classroom open for me.<p>

I sighed and took the door, waiting for her to enter first. She seemed to have gotten it into her head that I needed to be looked after, and she was now permanently glued to my side. She opened doors, carried my lunch tray, and had tried to carry my books until I put my foot down. I was Rose Hathaway-no one carries my books, I'd said. Lissa just rolled her eyes and let it drop, but she still tried to take care of me. It was sweet, I'll admit, but starting to get on my nerves.

"Probably. If someone can distract the matron," I said as Lissa gave up and entered the room first, leaving my pride intact.

"I'll get Eddie to talk to her or something. So you can come to my room at like seven?"

"Sure," I said distractedly, looking over to a group of Moroi. "Hang on a sec."

"What are you-"

Flipping my hair back, I sauntered over to where Ralph sat on a desk along with his royal friends. As I passed his desk I leaned in ever so slightly. "Boo," I whispered. Ralph nearly toppled off his desk, his eyes wide as he struggled to keep from falling off. Jesse and the others burst out laughing, not knowing the reason for Ralph's ridiculous flailing act. But I did, and so did he-he was terrified of me now.

To my total satisfaction, the rumors about me seemed to be dying down. I was no longer the talk of the school-my pregnancy was old news. What was new news, however, was Ralph running out of the guy's bathroom, pants halfway down, from a supposed "snake" in the bathroom. And there was that time he ran into the precalculus room, shouting to Mr. Page that someone was trying to kill him. Which I wasn't trying to do, for the record. I was only after the scare factor, and honestly, he was making the situation worse for himself with all his screaming and yelling. Who could resist laughing at him?

"You are having way too much fun with this," Lissa chuckled, shaking her head as I walked back towards her.

"Have to get by somehow." I took my seat and yawned. In the past four days I'd spent my days in class, my afternoons hiding out from the therapist, and my evenings with Dimitri, leaving me exhausted pretty much all the time. I was admittedly surprised on the subject of therapy-Deirdre hadn't ratted me out to Kirova, though it had been a week since I was supposed to start seeing her daily. I was secretly grateful, though feeling a little guilty.

"Sure. Just promise you'll come by, alright?" Lissa whispered as the teacher walked in.

"You got it."

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><p>I banged on Lissa's door at seven like she said, already in a bad mood. I'd tried to find Dimitri after class to tell him I couldn't come by tonight, but he was nowhere to be found. I'd opted to leave a note explaining why I couldn't stay, but I was still bummed. We were supposed to have Chinese tonight.<p>

I grumbled something about the food I most definitely wouldn't find in Lissa's room since she was a freak who never ate just as she opened her door.

"I heard that," she said, amused, as she let me inside. I blinked in surprise to see Christian settled on the floor by the door with a book and Adrian with his arms folded over his stomach, leaning back against Lissa's computer chair.

"Wow, looks like a party. Is there any food?" I asked hopefully.

"Better be careful, Rose. Don't want to get too fat," Christian called, laying his book down.

Lissa and Adrian both sucked in air, waiting for me to explode. I just grinned. "Can't avoid it, Sparky. Might as well embrace it." I sat down on Lissa's bed and curled my legs under me. "So, no food?"

Lissa laughed as Adrian picked up a plastic bag from under Lissa's desk and tossed it at me. "Sweet! Thanks guys." I pulled out the bag of potato chips and ripped it open, eagerly devouring the salty goodness.

"Those might not be too good for the baby," Adrian pointed out, chuckling.

"I've been eating healthy enough as it is," I snapped through a mouth full of chips.

"Rose, putting lettuce on your cheeseburger does not count as healthy," Christian said, a smile also playing on his lips.

I made a not-so-nice gesture at Christian that made Lissa frown as she sat next to me on her bed. "Be nice, or I take the food away," she warned.

I pulled the chips against me and growled. "My precious!" I hissed.

Adrian laughed and Lissa shook her head, trying not to smile.

"So, why did you want me to come over?" I asked as I slowed my chip-munching rampage.

"Well...we have some things we want to tell you," Lissa said. I detected her excitement bubbling under the surface of her emotions. She was dying to tell me this, whatever it was.

"And by that, she means _she_ has some things she wants to tell you. I have no part in this," Christian called from the floor.

"But I do," Adrian said, still smiling.

"Are we getting a puppy?" I asked perkily like a five year old child.

"Nope. We have something better," Lissa said, her smile growing.

"Chocolate cake?"

"Rose, can you forget about the food for a minute?" Adrian asked exasperatedly. I gave him another one of my not-so-nice gestures.

"Nope. A plan." Lissa looked at me happily.

"O...kay?" I frowned. Slightly less exciting than I'd hoped.

"I talked to Kirova and Alberta today," she began.

My muscles tensed. Alright, maybe this would be exciting. "And?"

"And I demanded, in a very princess-like manner, that you be appointed my second guardian." I could feel Lissa's satisfaction oozing through the bond.

"Liss, I can't be your guardian while I'm-" I started, but Lissa held her hand up for me to wait.

"I told them I want you to be my guardian after you have the baby."

I opened my mouth to argue another point, but then a knock sounded on Lissa's door and it opened, revealing Eddie's head. "Can I come in?" He asked, looking around at everyone.

Lissa beckoned him in, and he plopped down next to Christian. "Did you tell her yet?" He asked eagerly.

"I'm trying," Lissa laughed. "Too many interruptions." She looked over at me, and I made the zipping motion over my lips, beckoning for her to continue."So, as I was saying, I told them that I want you as my guardian and I won't take anyone else."

"But you can't go unprotected for a year until I take my trials," I argued, afraid to be excited. I'd finally gotten used to the fact that I would never be Lissa's guardian, and there were too many details that wouldn't work out in this plan. It could never happen.

"I won't be. Eddie will be my temporary guardian. It's already set in paper," Lissa said.

I looked over at him in surprise."And you're okay with that?"

He grinned at my reaction. "I don't mind at all. I'll get reassigned later, and it'll look great on my applications," he said cheerily.

"So Eddie and Dimitri will be my guardians while I go to Leigh, and they'll have apartments at Court." She looked at me pointedly, and I got the message-I'd be with Dimitri, which meant I'd be at Court with her and Christian.

"Wait-you're definitely going there?" I asked. When I'd last talked to her she was all strung out over what to do. Could she handle life at Court while going to college? Apparently she thought she could.

"Yes! Adrian made a call to the queen, and he and I talked to her about it, and she said it was okay!" Lissa squealed and leaned over to hug me, and I hugged her back.

"That's great, Liss!" I grinned. I really was happy for her. "Wait, Kirova agreed to this?" I frowned, suspecting foul play.

"Well, I talked to Alberta first. I said how you've always been the best, and I wanted you as my guardian or I'd go without them. No exceptions. So we went to talk to Kirova, and she finally gave in. No compulsion. You're going to be my guardian, Rose!" Wow. I had to give it to Alberta. Lissa's demands alone couldn't override her safety-they would give her guardians no matter what. Alberta must have felt the same way as Lissa about me becoming her guardian, or she wouldn't have bothered going to Kirova. I felt my smile creeping back up.

I looked around at my friends. Even Christian smiled at me. "Looks like I'll never get rid of you, Rose," he sighed.

"Who would want to?" I flipped my hair back, trying to look haughty. He just burst out laughing and shook his head.

"Can't think of anyone who would," Adrian said. He was beaming. "Looks like we'll be at Court together, Rose."

I rolled my eyes. "Dear God, please help me."

"So, you approve?" Lissa asked, doubt momentarily clouding her happiness.

"Of course!" I said. Things were actually starting to look up for me, and it felt strange to just relax. Up until now my future had been a mystery, a haze I wasn't sure I'd ever figure out. Now it was like a puzzle that was slowly coming together, but there was one huge part where very few pieces fit-my baby's future.

Adrian saw my smile slip, and he watched me carefully as he said "You don't look so sure, Little Dhampir."

I bit my lip, debating whether I should confide in them. _What the hell,_ I thought. _They're your friends._ "I was just...wondering about where the baby will fit in." I fidgeted on the bed. I didn't really talk about the baby out loud. It was like taboo; I never mentioned it. But I was through with all the lying and secrets, and this was one topic I'd been lying about for too long.

"What are you going to do with it?" Christian asked bluntly, trying to seem disinterested as he flipped through his book, something about some weird type of self defense I'd never heard of.

Eddie looked at me questioningly. Though we'd been on better terms lately, we'd carefully avoided the baby topic. I'd known he was dying to ask, though. Which path would I choose?

"Keep it. I'm not going to let the Academy raise her like they did for me," I said vehemently. I would not let my baby hate me like I'd hated my mother.

"Her?" Lissa asked, surprised. "You already know?"

I blushed, something I never did. "No. That slipped out. I guess I want it to be a girl," I said sheepishly.

"A mini-Rose? We'd all be in trouble," Adrian said.

Joy shone through the bond, so strong I felt my own spirits lift higher than before. Lissa was happy, so happy that I was finding the best in my situation. I was going to be okay, and she was glad to see me talking about the baby, glad that I _could_ talk about it.

I gasped when I felt something warm run down my face-tears. I wiped them away and laughed slightly. "Stupid hormones," I muttered as I swiped at my face. My friends laughed, and I joined in. It felt so good to be with them, to talk with them, to tell them everything I was thinking. It was good to have friends, I admitted to myself as Adrian reached for the chips and Lissa swatted his hand away. I only wished I'd realized it sooner. Still, I reminded myself, leaning back against Lissa's bed, I had them with me now, and that was all that mattered. No more looking back.


	17. Reunions

**Okay, I actually feel good about this chapter. I wasn't really proud of the last two, and I think it's because I was writing them between 11 pm and 3 am since my days are pretty much booked. It felt great to really spend time on this one, so I hope you like it! I love all of the reviews-please keep it up!**

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><p>Three days later I sat in my room, trying and failing to read a book Lissa lent me on meditation. "It'll be good for the baby," she'd said as she practically shoved it in my hands. I sighed and walked over to my window, hugging my arms tight around me. The problem with meditation, I thought, was that I couldn't let go of all the things that were bothering me. Like graduation, for instance-only four days away.<p>

I leaned my head against the cool glass and sighed. I should be at my therapy session right now with Deirdre, and every day that I headed back to my room instead of her office my guilt grew. I didn't doubt that I'd cave eventually; it was only a matter of when. I'd told Lissa about it, and she was horrified to hear I wasn't going.

"It's worth a try, Rose. If they think it'll help, maybe it will. Can't hurt to go," she had said persuasively. I angrily pushed off from the window and sat back on my bed. The thing was, it _did_ hurt. I wanted to put everything behind me, not dwell on it. I didn't want to get to the root of my problems-I wanted to forget them.

Finally deciding I couldn't sit in my room and wait for Dimitri to finish that day's duties, headed for my door to sneak out for a walk. What I found when I opened it, however, shocked me enough to forget what I had just been about to do.

"Mom?" I gasped. There stood Janine Hathaway, and beside her a tall Moroi man. He looked ridiculous in a fancy grey suit with a bright purple tie and one of those old fedoras, and he looked me up and down, taking in everything about me, his eyes lingering on my stomach. Who the hell was this guy?

"Rose." My mom offered me a small smile that I didn't return.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked, staring at this stranger.

"Rose, can you let us in, please?" My mother was trying her hardest to be nice, I realized. Still, I was not letting the creepy man into my room.

"Not until I know who this guy is," I said, trying to sound dangerous. The man looked like he was trying not to laugh.

"I'll explain in a minute. Just let us in." I grudgingly stepped aside, never taking my eyes off the Moroi. I doubted he was royal, but he had this authoritative attitude around him. I didn't like it.

"So, who is he?" I asked, nodding at the guy.

"Rose, this is-"

"Ibrahim Mazur. You can call me Abe," the man said as he extended a hand to me. I ignored it, and he let it drop.

"Why are you here?" I didn't mind seeing my mother; I'd practically begged her to come back the last time she was here. But I had no clue why she showed up with a strange guy who looked like he belonged in the mafia or something.

Abe looked over at my mother. Her face was guarded, and I have to admit she looked pretty badass. I could only assume that what was coming was pretty bad.

"Rose, Abe is...your father." There was a long pause.

"What?" I asked, totally stunned. I looked at the man again. Dark skin. Dark hair. The more I looked, the more I saw _me_.

Abe extended his hand out again. "Hello, Rosemarie." His voice was heavily accented, but I couldn't tell what it was. Not Russian-I knew that sound my heart. Middle Eastern, maybe? I hesitantly shook it. "We came down for your graduation. I told your mother I'd like to meet you," Abe said. I still regarded him warily, but curiosity had begun to take over my distrust.

"Why now?" I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Well, you're graduating. Seemed as fine a time as any." He said the words lightly, but again I saw his eyes glance down at my stomach.

I spun around to face my mom. "You told him?" I asked, horrified.

"Rose, he's your father. He has the right to know." She spoke gently, trying not to upset me, but my anger was already growing.

"He has no right! I've never even _heard_ of this guy before, and-"

"That would be because both of us decided it was for the best. But you're older now, Rosemarie, and I really wanted to meet you," Abe said. I could hear the truth in his words, could feel how much he wanted me to understand.

"Rose," my mother said as she took a step toward me, "this is the first time I've seen Abe in years. And you know I wouldn't have agreed to him meeting you if I didn't think it was a good idea."

I nodded and swallowed. She had a point. "So," I said stiffly. "What is it you want to say, old man?"

"Just this-who do I need to make pay for this?" He motioned to my stomach, and I was surprised by the hardness in his voice and the bluntness in his words. I was expecting some sort of introduction about himself, what he did, all that jazz.

"What? No one. Don't worry about it." I looked at my mother, who watched me guardedly. And then I understood. "Is this supposed to be an intervention?" I laughed.

My mother looked at Abe, and he in turn looked at me. "You're very smart, Rose. And from what Janine says, this isn't like you. I myself find it hard to believe you've been...whoring around." I tried not to seem surprised at his terminology-I probably would have used the same word.

I tried to keep calm and turned towards my mom. "You can ask anyone. That's the truth." I shrugged.

My mom sighed. "Rose, please. I know you know who the father is. What is it that's keeping you from telling us? Why won't you say who he is?" Her normally even voice had taken on a tone of desperation.

"Because I _don't _know. You're going to have to trust me on this." As I looked into her eyes, I actually considered the idea of telling them about Dimitri. It would be so easy to tell her...but I knew the two of them would kill Dimitri, and I preferred him alive. After graduation, I told myself. Just wait until then.

I shifted on my feet. My head was starting to hurt, and I didn't feel like putting up with this anymore. "Look, I'm not feeling so great. Can we talk later?"

My mom looked slightly hurt, but I think she understood. She nodded and said "of course. I'll come by tomorrow." To my total and complete surprise, she reached over and hugged me. It was only for a second, and then she turned and left without looking at me. I was left staring at my father.

"That was...strange," I said to break the silence.

Abe nodded. "She cares about you, you know. She worries."

"I know," I said. And I realized it was true. Despite all the things I'd said to her, I'd known she didn't really hate me. I just hadn't wanted to see it, because then I would have stopped hating _her_.

"Well, I guess this is my cue to leave." He started toward the door and then stopped. "Rose, I meant what I said. I'd like to get to know you."

I stared at him for a moment and considered his words. "I guess I wouldn't mind," I said slowly.

A grin spread across Abe's face. "And if you ever need...help with anything, feel free to let me know."

I groaned. "Get out of here!" He chuckled and disappeared. I was left shaking my head and wondering what the hell had just happened.

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><p>A few hours later I sat on Dimitri's bed, stomach full on four slices of buffalo chicken pizza. I watched Dimitri as he cleaned up the box and the plates. Despite my earlier protests, he had refused to let me help with anything. Typical.<p>

I smiled when Dimitri returned to the bed and pulled him towards me. He gently kissed me and I melted against him, happy to be close to him, to forget about everything and just marvel at the feeling of his lips on mine.

Of course, he pulled away before things could get too serious. Normally I just sighed and accepted it, but this time I was angry. I wanted comfort, and I was tired of loving the feel of him only to have him pull away from me.

I gave a frustrated growl and shot off the bed, headed for the door. "Rose, what are you-" he called after me, but I was too upset. I wrenched the door open to leave, but before I could I felt his hand lightly touch my arm to hold me back.

"Rose, don't. What's wrong?" He turned me to face him, and I saw the concern in his face. I was instantly reminded of the bathroom when he'd realized I was pregnant.

I tried to hold back my tears, but I couldn't. Everything just spilled out, and I sobbed against him as he brought me back to the bed. "Shh, Rose. It's okay. It's alright." He rocked me against him until I quieted, breathing raggedly into his shirt.

"What's bothering you?" Dimitri asked when I finally pulled away and wiped my eyes.

"I don't know. Everything. My parents. Graduation. After graduation." I sniffled and looked up at him. It was so strange-a few days ago I felt perfectly fine, perfectly happy, and now...

"Shit!" I exclaimed, sitting up suddenly.

"What? What is it?" Dimitri asked, looking at me anxiously.

I was kicking myself, I was so mad. "These stupid hormones! Here I am, thinking everything in my life sucks, and then it turns out that no, everything is fine, better than it has been in a while, and I ruin it by freaking out and _crying_, and it just doesn't make any sense!" I got up and started pacing in front of the bed. Dimitri followed me and interrupted my walk, pulling me against him.

"It's normal, Rose. Things are confusing right now, but it won't be like this forever. It's okay to get angry," he said thickly. I could feel how upset he was-he didn't like seeing me like this.

"But I'm taking it out on you, and that's not fair," I argued, pulling away so I could see his face.

Dimitri chuckled. "You have to get it out somehow, Rose. I'd rather you to talk to me than shut me out."

I swallowed back more tears. "But what if I'm horrible to you and you just can't stand me anymore and-"

Dimitri crushed his lips to mine, shutting me up instantly. After a few moments he pulled back slightly, but not much. "That will never happen. I'm not going anywhere," he whispered, his eyes boring into mine. I held onto him tightly, previous frustration forgotten. All I knew was I felt safe here, safe and loved. For now, I let go of my fears and leaned into Dimitri, breathing in the scent I'd begun to recognize as home.

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><p>The next day after Slavic art I stood outside Deirdre's office, trying to work up the nerve to knock. After my breakdown yesterday I knew I needed to talk to her. Despite what Dimitri said, I was terrified of chasing him away with my bizarre moods. So why not talk to someone who couldn't turn me away?<p>

I finally took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Deirdre answered it immediately, and I saw genuine pleasure light up her face.

"Rose! I'm glad you finally showed up." From anyone else, that would have sounded like a jerk thing to say, but not from Deirdre. She just sounded sincere.

"Uh, yeah. I've been...busy," I said guiltily.

"Well, come in. Have a seat." She motioned to the chair I'd sat in during my previous sessions, and I got the strange feeling of deja vu as I sat down.

"So, how have you been feeling?" Deirdre asked as she sat down opposite me.

"Fine, I guess." I fidgeted uncomfortably, thinking this was a bad idea after all. How would sitting here awkwardly benefit me, exactly? I mentally cursed Lissa-her constant push to go to Deirdre, go to Deirdre, go to Deirdre all throughout the day had finally driven me crazy enough to show up.

"Anything in particular you want to talk about?"

"Nope." I looked toward the window, but of course it was pitch dark and tinted to keep out as much sunlight as possible. Even my heightened vision had trouble picking out the shapes of the other buildings.

"Well, do you mind if I kick things off?" I shook my head. "Okay then. I'd like to talk about the baby, if that's alright with you." I stiffened, still not used to openly discussing it.

"Yeah, sure." I said, trying to seem nonchalant.

"I think much of what you're feeling now stems from the baby, or before the baby. You say you can't be sure who the father is. If you look at that-"

"I know who he is." I didn't want her to lecture me on how being a whore was a sign of my emotional issues or blah blah blah. No thank you.

Surprise lit up Deirdre's face. "Have you told your mother that?" It was no secret that Janine Hathaway had returned to the school, and a couple people saw her head to my room with a strange Moroi man no one knew. The theories of who he was stretched from physciatrist to the father of my kid, which was beyond creepy. Things were definitely less awkward the last time they came to see me in my room, and I had learned a couple new things about Abe, but not much. He'd told me he was Turkish and that he hadn't seen my mom since I was born, but that was about all. Mostly he had just wanted to learn about me. I was surprised that both my parents let the baby father thing drop, but it let me figure out one thing-there was no way in hell I was telling them about Dimitri for awhile.

I shook my head. "I can't."

"Well...why not?" Deirdre leaned forward, frowning slightly.

I shook my head again. I had already steeled myself not to give anything away that could be traced back to Dimitri. Deirdre was bound not to reveal a secret I told her as long as it wasn't endangering me, and I was pretty she wouldn't consider this dangerous.

"Okay," she said briskly, looking down at some notes. "Do you think you loved him?"

"I know I do," I said defensively. This was starting to remind me of the other times I'd been here. Joy.

"Is that why you're determined to keep the baby?" She asked, looking me in the eyes.

"Partly, I guess. But..." I paused, wondering if I should really say what was on my mind. _Why not?_ I thought. "I guess I don't want to be like my mother. I hated her for so long, and I don't want my baby to ever feel that way about me."

Deirdre was quiet for a moment. "Are you happy with your decision?"

I thought for a moment and nodded. "Yeah. In a way, it's the best one I've made in awhile," I confessed. "It's like...I don't know, like I can be proud of it. I haven't been able to feel very proud of anything in awhile."

Deirdre nodded. "Then stick by it, Rose. If you know what you're doing is right, don't give up on it." She looked at the clock and looked at me sadly. "Unfortunately, Rose, I assumed you weren't coming, so I scheduled a meeting with a teacher this afternoon. Can we continue this tomorrow?"

I nodded as I stood up. "Yeah. And, um, thanks Deirdre."

"Anytime, Rose."

I walked out of the room feeling lighter than I had in awhile. Not necessarily happy, like I'd been in Lissa's room with all my friends, but less burdened. Thinking of my friends, I sped up to get to Lissa's room to hang out with them all for a bit before going to Dimitri. With only four days left to graduation, we'd been spending as much time as possible with each other. I brightened when I realized none of us would have to say goodbye, not really. We'd all be centered around Lissa-she was like our beacon, our guiding light.

Maybe I'll be a poet, I laughed to myself as I walked into the Moroi dorms, not caring who looked at me like I was crazy. At least the whispers had stopped, I thought happily as I bolted up the stairs. I paused before I banged on the door to Lissa's room, listening to the laughter of my friends through the door. I smiled to myself, happy to have all the people that mattered on my side again, and opened the door to join my friends.


	18. End of an Era, Start of an Age

**First things first: this is not the last chapter! When I first started this story and wrote the outline I had originally planned to end it here and then write an epilogue, but of course nothing turns out like you plan. I added a bunch of things along the way and this would leave too many loose ends untied. From here on in I only have a few major things planned, like the obvious, but I still need to work out the details. So it may be a little while before I update again. But I will do it, and soon!**

**And thanks for all your support! You guys keep me writing, even when I feel like I'm doing a terrible job. Your reviews mean so much to me! :) **

**I hope you like this chapter, and please tell me what you think!  
><strong>

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><p>"Rose! Hurry up, won't you? We're going to be late," my mother called from outside my door.<p>

"Hang on a sec!" I yelled, and turned back to my reflection to whip my hair up into a ponytail so my tattoos were visible. I twirled quickly for a final inspection of the white sundress Lissa had bought me despite my protests and then opened my door to reveal my disgruntled looking mother and an amused Abe.

"You shape up nicely, Rose," Abe said pleasantly as he took in my appearance.

"Thanks, old man. You still look highly ridiculous." I grinned, indicating his black suit, fedora, and cream colored tie.

"He's right, Rose. You look great." I don't think I'll ever cease to be surprised when I get a compliment from my mother-it always sends a little shock down my spine, like I can't believe she's telling the truth.

I did a spontaneous twirl to show off the pretty dress, bowing when I finished, and my parents laughed at the very un-Roseish action. "Should we go then?" I asked, jerking my head in the direction of the stairs.

"Yeah," my mother said, a sad longing evident in her voice. I looked at her questioningly, but she just shook her head and mouthed, "later." I nodded and headed off down the hallway, my parents following behind me.

We were the only ones left in my dorm, of course, seeing as I was running late as usual, and we had to hurry across the campus to reach the throng of people heading towards the auditorium.

"I'll go find us some seats," Abe said to my mother. She nodded and turned to face me as he walked into the sea of people.

"Rose," my mom said, stopping where she was. I looked after my classmates who were rushing to find their seats inside, then back at my mom.

"What?" I asked, a little too sharply. I didn't like getting left behind.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for all this lost time. I never got to know you, and it already feels like it's too late." Maybe it was the emotional stress of this day that was getting her, but I could tell she was struggling not to cry. Janine Hathaway, one of the most highly respected guardians in the world, was fighting to hold back tears. But really, I thought to myself, it was no more ridiculous than when it was me trying to keep my eyes dry. She was still a human being, still capable of emotions. It was just a difficult concept to grasp.

"Mom, it's not too late. We can still see each other. There will be holidays, you know. Try taking some days off for a change," I joked.

She chuckled. "Maybe I will. I can come down and see you at Court," she said thoughtfully. I smiled at the look in her eyes-an idea was growing. I guess I liked the sound of it, now that our animosity seemed to have disappeared. She was more like a friend to me than a mom, but I didn't mind-she was a friend worth having.

"I'd like that. And I will most definitely talk to you later, Mom, but right now I _really_ have to go, so-" I was stopped mid-sentence by a bone-crushing hug that completely caught me off guard.

"Right, of course. Good luck, Rose," my mom said when she released me and backed away, not meeting my eyes. I stared after her retreating back for a moment before sprinting after the dissipating students flooding into the back door behind the stage. There would be plenty of time to talk to her later.

I was just about to step through the door when I heard a voice call "Rose!" I spun around to see Dimitri coming from behind the corner of the building.

"I went through that whole building for you before realizing you would be late as always," Dimitri teased when he caught up with me.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah. I'd love to stay and chat, comrade, but I have a graduation to get to."

"It can wait. I wanted to give you something first," he said carefully, watching my face.

I brightened. "Oh yeah?" Dimitri pulled a small unwrapped box from behind his back. "What is-"

"Just open it," he laughed, holding the box out for me. I took it gingerly, flipped the top off, and gasped. Inside were two plane tickets to Russia.

I looked up at Dimitri, my emotions too strong for words. He wrapped his arms around me, apparently not caring who saw us. "A promise is a promise. Consider it a graduation present," he said, smiling.

"Thank you," I whispered. It was like one of the final puzzle pieces was falling into place-Dimitri wanted to take me to his family. I'd wondered if he had only told me that to keep me from exploding, but now I could see that he meant it. I was really going with him to Russia.

"You've made me so proud, Roza. You're so strong, so stubborn, and I love you. I can't wait to start our life together." Passion burned in his eyes, and I knew every word he spoke was the truth.

"I love you too," was all I could say, and he smiled.

"I'll be waiting for you when you walk off that stage," Dimitri said as he let go of me. "Good luck, Rose."

"See you in a few hours, comrade," I grinned and clutched the box to my chest before holding it out to him. "Keep them for me?" I asked.

He nodded as he took them, looked around, and lightly brushed his lips to mine. "See you soon," he said softly as he backed away.

"Hathaway! Get in here!" I heard Stan bark from the doorway. I looked around quickly, but Dimitri was already out of sight. Smiling to myself, I cheerfully waved at Stan as I ran inside to join my friends, definitely ready to graduate.

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><p>The ceremony was a blur of cheers and smiles and nerves, but I remember hearing Lissa's name called and watching her walk up the steps to the stage, a grin so huge plastered on her face that you would have thought she won a million dollars or a puppy or something. As it was, she got an award for being third in the class, and Kirova actually bowed to her, acknowledging the princess as her superior. I have to admit, it was pretty awesome.<p>

I was actually nervous as the list of names left until my own grew shorter and shorter. I wasn't exactly sure what reception I would get. Boos and catcalls? Or maybe dead silence? I'd never been one to care about what other people thought, but right then I did. I was terrified. Which is why when my name was called I nearly died of shock.

"Rosemarie Hathaway, top marks in defensive and combative training, recognized as novice of the year." Alberta was the one reading off my awards, and I nearly froze as I climbed the steps. I had no idea I earned those achievements. So imagine how surprised I was when the room erupted into an extremely loud applause. I looked to the audience and saw Lissa and Christian clapping animatedly (which in Christian's case meant bringing his hands together more than once), and past them Abe and my mom were standing and cheering. But it was more than just them-everyone I knew, every one of my friends was yelling for me. I was no longer the Rose Hathaway who got knocked up and couldn't even tell who the father was. I was the same Rose they knew before, the one who could kick anyone's ass and had proved it time and time again. To them, I was _me_ again.

I faced Alberta to shake her hand, and I could see the pride she felt reflected in her eyes. "It's been a pleasure, Rose," she said softly, gripping my hand tightly. I nodded, wishing I could tell her how grateful I was. She hadn't ratted out Dimitri and me when she figured it out that day outside Kirova's office, and she'd fought to have me appointed Lissa's guardian. I owed much of my future to her, I realized. I wanted to tell her all of this, but I knew I couldn't. I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but then closed it again. She nodded like she understood, and I smiled before turning to take my diploma from Kirova. She smiled at me as she handed it to me, and though she didn't say a word, I knew how she felt. I felt the same way-relieved that I wouldn't have to see her again, but a little sad as well. She wasn't as terrible as I used to think.

"It's been a hell of a year," I told her as I shook her hand as well. She laughed and clapped a hand on my shoulder before pushing me away to get ready for the next student. I climbed down the steps to walk back to my seat but was stopped by a bear hug from Dimitri. He'd waited for me, just like he said he would. Not that I doubted him or anything-I just thought he was being metaphorical or something.

"You did it," he said softly as he backed away. Though it was friendly enough that anyone who might have been watching me instead of Meredith on the stage wouldn't find it creepy, I knew Dimitri wasn't doing anything for show. We were through with that now-no more hiding. I reached up to kiss him lightly on the cheek and headed back to my seat so I wouldn't cause a traffic jam.

I don't remember much of anything else, just the cheering and screaming. All I could think was _It's over, it's finally over. I'm done_. In a way I knew I would miss this place, but my excitement at starting the rest of my life left little room for nostalgia.

Once the ceremony was over, I turned to find Lissa to congratulate her on that award but was grabbed by Dimitri before I could even take a step. He didn't look so out of place with all the parents hugging their children, but I still felt the old reminder to be careful what people saw. Obviously Dimitri didn't, because he reached out to hold my hand.

"Are you sure you want to do that, cowboy?" I asked, trying and failing to raise an eyebrow.

"I'm sure, Rose," he said, amused.

"Well, it's your funeral," I said cheerily, squeezing our hands together. I looked around to see where my parents would be and found them talking with Tasha, Christian, Lissa, Eddie, and Adrian. We started to walk toward them, our hands still entwined, and my mother raised an eyebrow as she elbowed Abe.

"Maybe they'll actually be okay with it," I said hopefully after seeing my friends' reactions. Adrian looked over and smiled a genuine smile, and Lissa just plain grinned at us. Eddie looked surprised, but then he rolled his eyes in resignation. Christian shook his head and chuckled, and I could practically hear him saying "of course _you_ would." If they didn't seem to mind, maybe my parents wouldn't be as upset as I originally assumed. Yeah, right, I thought again when Abe finally turned his head and saw us, his eyes nearly popping out of his head. Still, if there was one thing I'd learned at this place, it was to never underestimate the impossible.

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><p><strong>Once again, not the last chapter! I'll update as soon as I can, I swear!<strong>


	19. Why Confrontations Tend to Suck

**Wow, this is my longest chapter yet. Almost 4,000 words. :) Please let me know what you think about this one!  
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**Unfortunately, I have some sad news to deliver: the end of this story is in sight. I loved writing this story and I love it still, but after the next four or five chapters, there won't be much to write about. I would love to continue Rose and Dimitri's life at Court, especially when the baby is born, but I've seen it done so many times and I want this story to go out on a high note. Unless anyone has any earth-shattering suggestions they'd like to share. If you do, feel free to bring it forward. But I think this is coming to the end, my friends. Still, don't be toooo sad-we still have places to go, family to meet :)  
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**On that depressing note, I want to say that I still love the reviews. No feeling competes with the one you get when you log in and see the number growing. I love reading them all!  
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><p>I'd pretty much accepted the fact that I was about to die.<p>

I was trying to face my certain death with as much bravado as I could muster, standing beside Dimitri with a cup of hot chocolate he'd made me sitting in my hands. We stood in the guardian lounge, waiting, just waiting for my parents to come in. And then I would be dead, because I had been right-they were not taking the news well.

Right after the graduation ceremony yesterday my mother had pulled me aside and said "we'll talk about this tomorrow." She told me the when and where before saying goodnight, and I'd had nightmares of Abe and my mother killing Dimitri in various ways before finally giving up on sleep at around three in the morning. I had not been looking forward to this meeting, but now it was here, so Dimitri and I stood beside each other and waited. There was nothing else we could do, though I'd already begged him to take off for Siberia. The sad part was I was only half joking.

In the middle of my musing the door to the lounge opened and my mother stepped in, closely followed by a tired looking Abe.

"Good morning Guardian Hathaway, Mr. Mazur," Dimitri said politely, nodding to both of them in turn. Neither of them returned his greeting.

There was an awkward moment of silence, and then my mother sighed. "Would you like to tell me how long this has been going on?" Though she seemed to be the one running the show, I kept my eye on Abe. I didn't trust his stony expression, and I knew he would have his turn eventually. He was quite obviously not okay with this situation.

"Technically you could say two months," I said honestly. I mean, I wasn't about to say I loved him almost as soon as I got back to the Academy. That would be stupid.

"What do you mean 'technically?'" My mother crossed her arms-never a good sign.

"Just..never mind. Just say two months." Damn. This is why you don't try to be semi-honest with your mother, I thought. I looked over at Dimitri, but his face seemed impassive. I saw his hand twitch in my direction slightly, looking to hold mine. I sighed sadly, wishing I could, but I knew that would just fuel the fire spitting from my mother.

"Oh no, Rose, I'd like to hear this." She stared at me, waiting for my explanation, but I wasn't going to. No way in hell was I telling them-

"We had sex." There was a moment of shocked silence, and I slowly turned my head to gape at Dimitri. Was he out of his freaking mind? I turned back to my parents to see Abe's face no longer stony- it was animated with anger.

"Christ. You were sleeping with her this whole time?" Abe asked in disbelief, glaring at Dimitri.

"No he wasn't," I said quickly. "Just once." I know you aren't supposed to tell your parents when you have sex with someone, but what else was I supposed to do? I didn't want them to kill Dimitri, which was looking more and more like the most probable course of action.

"And what the hell gives you that right?" Abe asked quietly. He advanced toward Dimitri, and I took a step forward to block him, but Dimitri lightly touched my arm. I looked back at him to see him shaking his head. He wanted to deal with this himself, I realized. Still, I looked to my mom, silently begging her to intercede. But her gaze was focused on Dimitri and Abe, and I knew she wouldn't do a thing about it.

"I love her," Dimitri said simply. To my surprise, he reached out to grab my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Though I took comfort in the open display of affection, the proof that my parents couldn't scare him away from me, my mother clearly did not.

"You're seven years older than her. You were her teacher!" My mom burst out angrily.

"Mom, Dimitri wouldn't go near me for months. It wasn't wrong; it just happened," I said gently, for some reason believing that would make her feel better. It didn't, and she whirled on me.

"Rose, it doesn't matter how either of you felt. As a guardian he should have been able to restrain himself around a student," she argued.

"Well it doesn't matter much now, does it?" I crossed my arms, mimicking her pose.

My mom opened her mouth to say something, but to my surprise Abe reached out and lightly touched her arm, just like Dimitri had to me. "Janine, let it go," he said quietly. My mouth nearly dropped to the floor when she nodded stiffly.

"I take it Belikov is the one responsible for the...baby?" Abe asked wearily when my mother uncrossed her arms, signaling the end of her part in this. I blinked in confusion at Abe's deductive skills. Any sane person would have guessed I cheated or that I'd slept with Dimitri after doing some Moroi guy. But I guess Abe never really counted as a normal, logical person.

Dimitri nodded. "And I feel terrible about it, sir, but Rose decided herself she wanted to keep it. The decision is hers."

It was right then that any anger either one of my parents might have felt dissipated. My mother's head snapped up to look at us, and understanding lit up her face. "Is this why you wouldn't tell us?" she asked quietly.

It was my turn to nod now. "I couldn't say anything, not until I'd graduated. I wanted to, though. I don't like lying to you."

Abe laughed drily, shaking his head. "Well, it was one hell of a lie. Passing yourself off as some cheap whore to protect him." I was hit with a wave of nausea that had nothing to do with the baby. They thought Dimitri had _asked_ me to cover for him.

"He didn't know about it, Abe. Dimitri wanted to tell the truth, but I couldn't have him fired." I looked imploringly at them.

"But, how is it even possible?" my mom asked, baffled.

I ran a hand through my hair. "It's kind of hard to explain. We think," I shot a look at Dimitri, and he nodded in encouragement, "that when Lissa brought me back to life after the accident, she gave me a part of herself. More than just spirit-like a real part of herself. Whatever the reason, the doctor said my DNA isn't split up evenly like most dhampirs. He said my Moroi half was greater, or something."

My mom's expression never changed, but Abe seemed thoughtful, thinking about what I'd said.

I decided to end this thing once and for all. I was an adult now, and my decisions were my own. They were going to have to learn to live with them. "I know it's kind of hard to understand, but try. This is how it is. Dimitri and I are together, we're having a baby, and that's that," I said with finality.

My mother looked away from us and out the window, maybe trying to accept what I'd just said, maybe taking a trip down memory lane. But Abe didn't back away so easily.

"As long as Belikov understands that I will personally disembowel him if he ever hurts you," he said darkly, glaring at Dimitri.

"Understood, sir," Dimitri said evenly. Abe nodded and held out a hand, and Dimitri clasped it firmly. I was relieved-I'd been expecting much worse from Abe, like a knife to the chest or something. But I guess it wasn't really over, because my mother wasn't ready to make nice. She turned on her heel and stalked out of the room without looking back at us.

I let out a breath I didn't know I'd held and leaned against Dimitri. One of his arms folded around my waist lightly. "I'll talk to her later, after she's cooled down," I said tiredly.

Abe looked towards the door as if she was still there, then turned back to face us. "Honestly, I wouldn't have minded storming out with her. But I'm leaving in a few hours, and I'd prefer not to part on bad terms. Especially when there isn't much I can do about it. Just make sure you catch her before she flies out tomorrow," Abe told me.

I nodded. "Thanks for sort-of understanding, Abe."

Abe looked us over, taking in the way we were standing. Then he shook his head. "I mean it, Belikov. You hurt her and you're gone."

Despite what he was implying, Dimitri kept his cool. "I can promise you right now that that won't be necessary, Mr. Mazur. I'm not leaving my family."

Some part of me threatened to tear up when he said the word 'family.' I could tell by the protective edge in his voice that he meant it, and I felt so secure in his arms right at that moment, like he'd never let me go. I even saw a hint of a smile twitch at Abe's lips.

"Good. I'll see you two soon, then. Goodbye for now, Rose," Abe said as he turned to leave.

"Bye," I said mildly. I wasn't too concerned about a real goodbye, knowing full well that he would be stopping in for a surprise visit before we knew it.

Once he was gone I turned to press myself against Dimitri and buried my face is his chest, enjoying the smell of him. "Well that went well," Dimitri said cheerfully, holding me tight with one arm and stroking my hair with the other hand.

I laughed into his shirt. "I'm just glad that part is over."

Dimitri pulled back and held me at arms' length. "Just don't forget about your mom," he warned.

"I know, I know. I'll go see her tomorrow. But right now, I just want a doughnut," I groaned as I leaned back into him. Dimitri laughed so hard I could feel the vibrations through my body.

"Then let's go find one." I stepped back so I could see the smile on his face. He held out his hand, but when I didn't take it right away he raised an eyebrow. "Rose, we just told your parents about our relationship. Who else are you afraid of?"

I smiled a tiny smile and took his hand. "Well, when you put it that way..." I trailed off, and Dimitri chuckled again. We exited the guardian lounge and walked into the darkness, happily ignoring all the stares that were aimed our way.

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><p>"How about this one?" Lissa held up a pretty dark green short sleeved shirt, the one I'd worn on my first 'dinner date' with Dimitri.<p>

"Taking it," I said without a moment of hesitation. I doubted I'd get a chance to wear it, though, seeing as Siberia was supposed to be freezing.

Lissa tossed it in the general direction of a black duffel bag Dimitri had given me for our trip to Russia and turned back to the pile of all my objects and clothes. I had two days until we took the jet to court, and then only three after that until I flew to Russia with Dimitri. Lissa had kindly offered to help me pack, and she had decided to sort through everything I own into the "taking to Russia," "packing for Court" and "tossing it" piles.

She sighed when she picked up a deep purple scarf and sat down on my bed. "It seems like years ago that we were running around, trying to hide from the Academy. And look at us now-graduated, sophisticated young women," she joked, throwing the scarf in the "taking it" pile.

"Hey, watch who you're calling sophisticated," I shot back, throwing the black dress Lissa bought me that I wore the night she was kidnapped by Viktor Dashkov into the "tossing it" pile. It brought back too many painful memories-running alongside Mason on our way to the dance, seeing Lissa taken by guardians and Christian beaten up for defending her, kissing Dimitri so fiercely and so passionately that it set my heart on fire. Though the lust enchantment had finally helped us realize we couldn't keep away from each other, it had brought us a lot of pain in continuing to try to stay apart, I remembered sadly. But I tried to push those memories away-I wouldn't have to deal with any of that again, I thought.

Lissa picked up a picture of the two of us on Christmas last year, and without even asking me she tucked it securely into one of my cardboard boxes headed to Court.

"I don't want to forget," she said quietly when she noticed me watching her. I smiled to show I didn't mind and turned back to the mountain that was all my stuff when a knock sounded on my door.

Lissa and I looked at each other for a moment, and I shrugged. I opened the door and Adrian swept into my room.

"Little Dhampir," he said pleasantly, taking a seat on my bed next to Lissa. I just stared at him.

"Rose, I need to get a few things from my room. I'll be back in a little bit," Lissa said in a poorly disguised attempt at subtlety. I nodded, and she got up and left.

"What's up, Adrian?" I sighed, returning to my pile so I wouldn't have to look at him. I knew I had to talk to him, but I didn't want him to try to tell me about how I should consider all my options or whatever. He just couldn't take the hint that I wasn't interested. Or maybe he did, and that's why he keeps fighting, I thought to myself, throwing a pair of black sweats into my "taking it" pile.

"Just wanted to talk," Adrian said nonchalantly as he picked up a stress ball Lissa had given me during my three day imprisonment and tossed it in the air, only to catch it when it fell back down. I looked up at him as I folded a tank top to put in my Court pile.

"What about?" I asked. He didn't say anything for a long moment, just threw the ball in the air again.

"Are you happy?" he finally asked, rolling the ball across his palms. I put down the shoes I was debating over and turned to meet his eyes. They were sad, but determined.

"Yeah, I am," I said honestly.

"You're sure?" I could hear the tiniest bit of hope lingering in his voice. It felt like a shame to destroy something I didn't think he felt much, but I had to put it out of its misery.

"Absolutely sure. I've got everything I want." I tossed the shoes in the Court pile.

"Good." I snapped my head back up to look at him. He smiled sadly as he put the ball back in my heap of stuff. "I want you to be happy, Rose, and if you think Belikov is the best for you, then I'm glad."

"Well, um, thanks. I guess." I pretended to rifle through a few more things. Adrian stood up again and walked over to me, standing directly between my pile and myself.

"I know this isn't really goodbye, but I feel like it is. Because after this you're officially gone, Little Dhampir. And I'll miss you." His eyes reminded me of a small child's-so sad and scared without someone to help him lead the way.

"Adrian, we'll be living in the same place. It's not goodbye at all." I put my hands on my hips. Why was he acting like I was moving halfway around the world? Adrian picked up the photo Lissa had put in my Court box and looked at it for a moment before putting it back.

"You don't think you need me anymore, Little Dhampir. That's the only reason we were ever close. Now everything is starting to go your way, and you'll have Belikov with you pretty much all the time. In a way it is goodbye, if you want to be philosophical about it." He smiled again, but it was a depressing smile. The kind that made your heart ache. "No matter how many times I tell myself to stay away from you, I can't bring myself to do it. I wish I could say that I'm through with this, but I know it's not true. So just know I'll be around if you ever decide to need me." He ruffled my hair affectionately before heading to the door.

"Adrian," I said quietly, and he turned around to face me again. "Thank you. For everything." Adrian just nodded and disappeared. Part of me longed to call him back and hug him, but the other part knew it was time to let him loose. I hadn't been fair to him, always expecting him to be around. I couldn't have everything-something had to give.

I sighed again and resumed my sorting, waiting for Lissa to come back so I could let go of my guilt and just focus on my upcoming trip. When had life ever become so complicated?

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><p>"Go on. Talk to her," Dimitri pushed quietly. There was no one around us save for a short red haired woman on a wooden bench, the same one she'd sat in the day I'd apologized for our last fight. Next to her sat a little brown duffel bag, cluing me in that this was my last chance to talk to her before she left.<p>

"Come with me," I murmured, pleading with my eyes. I wanted my mother to accept us as a couple, not just me. I needed her to be okay with this, to understand that nothing would change how Dimitri and I felt about each other.

He squeezed my hand and nodded. I took a deep breath and started walking toward my mother, hoping this wouldn't end in another argument. Her head spun around when she heard our approach, and she stood to face us.

"Hi," I said awkwardly. Dimitri squeezed my hand again, and it was all the encouragement I needed to set things right. "Things didn't end very well yesterday. I don't want you to end up leaving without me saying goodbye."

My mother eyed us warily for another moment, and I couldn't help the annoyance that flared up from her gaze. I knew how much she truly lived her job, but at the moment her guardian analyzing was getting in the way. She just couldn't come to terms with Dimitri and me, and it was starting to piss me off. But before I could offer one of my old Rose quips that could make the strongest of men burst into tears, she broke her own silence.

"I admit that hearing about your...relationship threw me off a bit. I don't like the idea, but Abe tells me there's no breaking you two up. Which means, Dimitri, that you better have been telling the truth when you said you loved my daughter." She hadn't used his formal name of Guardian Belikov, I realized after a moment. That was either a really good sign or a really really bad one.

Dimitri nodded. "I meant every word. Rose is extremely important to me. In fact, I'm taking her with me to Russia in a few days to meet my family." My mother's eyes widened.

"Mom, this is my life," I sighed when I saw she was about to argue. "These are my decisions to make. And I know that you don't agree with some of my choices, but I'm choosing them. I'm a big girl, mom; I don't really need someone to tell me what I can and can't do." Hurt flashed across her face for a moment, but then it disappeared. She looked from Dimitri to me, and then nodded.

"You're right," she conceded. My jaw nearly hit the floor. "It _is_ your life. I just hope you know what you're doing, Rose."

"I do," I said earnestly. She nodded again.

"Then good luck to you." She started to turn away, but I instantly reached out to stop her, letting go of Dimitri's hand. My mother turned around to face me again, and I pulled her into a tight hug. The words I spoke next shocked us both.

"I love you, mom," I whispered. "Please don't be angry." It was the first time I'd asked her for anything, the first time I'd _wanted_ anything from her. To be honest, I wasn't very comfortable with begging for something from anyone. I just knew I couldn't let her leave angry-Hathaway women could keep grudges like nobody's business.

"I-I love you too, Rose. And I'm not angry with you." She pulled back, and I could see tears swimming in her eyes, along with something else-pain. "You're much stronger than I was. I didn't have the heart to take a stand like you did yesterday. I did what the guardians told me to do without stopping to think of the long term consequences. It's almost a relief to know that no one can change your mind except you, Rose."

I swear, anymore surprises and I would have exploded. It seemed impossible-Janine Hathaway admitting a weakness? I had to remind myself again that she was only human, that she was young and vulnerable once too.

"Um, thanks," I said, and I meant it. She nodded awkwardly.

"So I'll see you soon, then?" I asked to break the tension. Feeling a tear begin to run down my face, I hastily reached up to wipe it away.

"Of course. Keep me posted on the baby," my mother said, smiling slightly. Her eyes shifted to Dimitri, who stood a respectful distance away, giving my mother and me some space. Or maybe he just felt awkward standing near two crying women. "Take care of her, Belikov." I almost pointed out that I didn't need taking care of, but decided that would ruin the moment.

"I'd say that I would, but Rose might kill me later," Dimitri said, guessing my thoughts. My mother laughed while I rolled my eyes.

"I'll keep you updated on the baby," I said, smiling too. Then it was my mother who pulled me into a tight hug.

"Goodbye, Rose," she said softly.

"Bye, Mom." I pulled back to stand with Dimitri, and my mother gave a short wave to the two of us before grabbing her bag and heading off to Alberta's office. I leaned my head against Dimitri's shoulder, wondering when it was that I dropped all the charges I'd held against my mom and why her leaving left a stabbing pain in my heart I never thought she could bring.


	20. Get Ready, Get Set, Showtime

**I'm sorry it took so long to update! I'm on vacation with my family now, and it's hard to sneak away with my laptop for long periods of time. I love the reviews! Please keep it up****!**** I just love reading them, and they inspire me to no end. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you reading this story.**

** Please tell me what you think about this one! :)  
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><p>"Dear God, Rose! How much stuff do you have?" Eddie groaned as he set down the last of my boxes on the floor by the door to the apartment Dimitri and I were sharing.<p>

"A lot," I confessed, grinning as I dropped my own box on top of one of the many others. "But I think that's the last of it. Thanks for your help, Eddie."

Eddie nodded. "Anytime. You looked like you were dying out there." I laughed. Dimitri had run out to get pizza for the two of us in celebration of our first night in our new apartment at Court, and though he'd said to wait until he got back to unpack our boxes from the two cars it had taken to transport all of our crap, I'd been determined to do it before he returned. Luckily, Eddie had appeared before I got too far and, after scolding me on my bone-headedness, took over the unloading of the heavy stuff, leaving me with my semi-wounded pride and the small packages that couldn't possibly affect the baby. Unless Dimitri wore radioactive socks or something.

I gestured for Eddie to have a seat at the rickety table Dimitri had found by the side of the road outside someone's yard on the way to Court. I had wrinkled my nose at the wooden _thing_ pretending to be a table, but Dimitri had found it endearing and stopped to pick it up, promising it was only temporary. He found the matching two chairs behind a trash can. Promising start of furniture shopping, huh?

"You've earned a slice of pizza for your labor," I declared when we were sitting down, wiping the sweat from our faces. Though it was only early June it was insanely hot, even at night.

"That's alright. I need to get back to Lissa anyway," he said, but made no move to get up. I could tell by the slight frown on his face that he wanted to say something, but was apparently too scared to do so. I'd been waiting for him to come find me, knowing that he would figure out the truth eventually. It was only a matter of time. I was just glad Dimitri wasn't around in case Eddie freaked out a little too much.

"Something on your mind?" I asked innocently as I fanned myself. I made a mental note to get Dimitri to buy an air conditioner.

"Sort of," Eddie said slowly, focusing his gaze on the table.

"Well, let's hear it." I got up to start opening the boxes. No matter how much I wanted to take a nap, we were leaving for Russia in two days and I wanted to have my things unpacked before then. There was also the fact that there was currently no place to sleep until Dimitri bought us a bed. We would be roughing it with sleeping bags until then.

"I'm curious." Eddie paused, but I didn't say anything as I pulled out Dimitri's cooking pans and brought them into the tiny kitchen, hanging them from hooks attached to the cabinets the previous guardian must have installed.

"Do you really not know the baby's father?" Eddie finally asked. His tone was too casual, too simple. I was sure he knew the real answer to that-after all, Christian had come to that conclusion himself, and I'd admitted as much. But I think Eddie was afraid of offending me or something, because he was trying to play dumb.

"No. I know who it is," I confessed, turning around to face him. Eddie actually breathed a sigh of relief.

"I knew it. It's Belikov, isn't it?" He asked. He sounded friendly enough, though I bet the idea didn't thrill him. I knew how much the 'whoring around' explanation had bothered Eddie, so this must have seemed like good news to him. Still, I groaned in frustration and dropped the strainer I had pulled out of the box.

"How does everyone keep figuring this out? It's not even possible!" I said almost angrily. I thought I'd done such a good job of protecting Dimitri, but apparently I was wrong if _everyone_ knew it was him. Eddie shrugged.

"Can't think of anyone else it could be." He said simply. He stood to pick up the strainer and placed it back in the box, looking me in the eyes as he did so. "Do you know how it happened?" He asked gently. I ran a hand through my hair to push it away from my face and nodded.

"Well, kind of. The doctor I went to said the Moroi part of my DNA is greater than the dhampir part, and it was enough to tip the scales, I guess. We think when Lissa healed me after the accident, she actually gave me a part of her along with spirit," I explained hurriedly. That little speech was quickly becoming monotonous.

"I guess that kind of makes sense," Eddie said thoughtfully. We stood for another moment, neither of us saying anything. Then Eddie sighed.

"You never think it'll happen to you," I said softly, and he snapped up to look at me. I stared out the window that faced opposite me. Eddie put a friendly arm around my waist and squeezed slightly.

"No," he agreed. "But you're handling everything okay, Rose. You're going to be a great mother-you already are." Tears threatened to spill out when I looked into his eyes, so honest and sincere, but I fought against them.

"What makes you so sure?" I whispered, looking down at my hands. It felt weird to voice the things that had been worrying me for so long, but I guess I should be used to it by now. Dimitri and Adrian had always managed to drag them out of me eventually, and now Eddie was doing the same. Still, it felt like I was telling a dark secret no one was meant to hear.

Eddie put his hands of my shoulders and forced me to look at him with his gaze.

"Because you're Rose Hathaway. Because you've done everything in your power to protect that baby, even when you were trying to hide it from everyone. Remember that day we fought off Alberta, Yuri, and Stan?" He said. I nodded weakly.

"_You_ fought them off. I didn't do anything," I argued. Eddie shook his head. "You fought to defend what mattered, Rose. You protected the one who was in real danger, and that time it wasn't Lissa or Christian. I know you think of that fight as a failure, but it really wasn't. Think of it as a big test, and you passed it." He smiled at me as he patted my shoulder and dropped his hands.

"I have to get back to Lissa before she breaks her own back from all her stuff," Eddie joked.

"You could have helped Lissa instead, you know. I would have been fine," I pointed out. Eddie grinned.

"Yeah, I know. But I was on my way to talk to you anyway. Figured you and the kid could use a little help," he said. I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever. Go back to Lissa. And Eddie," I called out to him as he turned to go. He looked over his shoulder at me and waited. "Thanks for the help." Eddie nodded and smiled once more before disappearing. I relaxed once I heard the apartment door open and close, a little relieved to have some time to myself, and then returned to the front room to survey all the work that had to be done.

Other than the dozens of boxes scattered around the living room, the apartment didn't look bad at all, I thought to myself. It was definitely on the higher end of the guardian housing spectrum, thanks to Lissa's influence. Only the best for her guardians, she'd told the housing director. Though we'd have to repaint a few rooms, I knew I was going to love living here. It was big and spacious with two bedrooms and two baths (one of which was connected to the master bedroom), complete with a full kitchen and cheery living area. Dimitri was so in love with the place that he was practically drooling over the idea of finding furniture for it. Unfortunately, that meant the crappy stuff people were throwing away because neither of us had much money to buy all the things we needed, let alone _wanted_.

I had just picked up one of the heavier boxes to move to the bedroom I would share with Dimitri when the door opened once more and Dimitri walked in with the pizza.

"Rose Hathaway, what the hell do you think you're doing?" He asked, amused, as he set the pizza down on one of the other piles and took my box from me. Annoyance flashed through me, even when he gave me a kiss hello.

"I can pick things up just fine," I snapped, though it lacked the usual bite behind it. I was tired of him acting like I was fragile.

"I know you can, but we don't want to do anything that could hurt the baby," Dimitri said soothingly as his hands wrapped around my waist. I made an aggravated sound in the back of my throat, but he stifled it with a deep kiss.

"Damn," I muttered when I pulled away. His arms were still around me, but they had loosened their hold.

"What?" He asked, searching my eyes.

"Now I'm not mad at you anymore," I sighed as I reached up to kiss his cheek, then pull out of his embrace. I made a beeline for the pizza, practically ripping the cover off.

Dimitri chuckled as I grabbed a slice and hungrily chowed down, not caring that I was standing in the middle of the room or that there was sauce on my face. I was starving.

"Well I'm glad." Then he seemed to take in all the boxes, and a frown appeared on his face. "Wait, did you bring all of these in?" I could hear the beginnings of panic start to rise up in his tone. I shook my head quickly.

"Eddie," I said around a mouthful of pizza crust, though it sounded more like "aieee." Still, I guess Dimitri understood because he relaxed and reached for a slice himself.

"That was nice of him," he said mildly. I nodded as I reached for a second piece.

"We have a lot of unpacking to do," he chuckled after a moment, eying the piles and piles of boxes.

"I still have to finish packing for Russia," I moaned after swallowing a mammoth bite. I'd gotten bored of Lissa's organized packing system after a few hours and had ended up just throwing random things into random boxes. Luckily, Dimitri had labeled all of my boxes so I would be able to grab the things I still needed to pack. I wolfed down the rest of my slice, then started to pick up the nearest box that read _Rose- Clothes_ in Dimitri's adorable writing. But before I could lift it, I felt his arms slide around me once more, hands resting over my stomach. It sent chills down my spine. I turned around so that I faced him and his hands held my back.

"I never thought I'd have any of this," Dimitri said quietly. I knew what he meant. The apartment, the promise of a family-it all felt surreal, like it could disappear at any moment. Still, his sudden embrace surprised me, and I gasped when one of his hands slipped under my shirt and gently rubbed my stomach. The feeling of his hands caressing my skin was so wonderful I nearly moaned.

"Well, now you're stuck with all of it," I told him. Truth be told, I was having trouble concentrating on anything but the hand that was sliding lower and lower...

"Mmm. Wouldn't have it any other way," he murmured as his fingers played with the waistband of my jeans. Looking in his eyes, I saw the hunger he'd tried to keep at bay since the night in the cabin. I knew my eyes would probably echo the same feeling. Still, there was no place to go, if you catch my drift, other than the not-so-totally-clean floor of our bedroom, and I wanted our second time having sex to be perfect. So I took a breath, kissed Dimitri's cheek, and backed out of his embrace.

"Buy me a bed first, cowboy. Then we'll party," I said in an overly seductive voice. He laughed sheepishly as he ran a hand through his hair, then grabbed another of my boxes and followed me into the bedroom to help me finish packing.

* * *

><p>"See? I told you we'd make it," I teased as Dimitri and I took our seats on the plane. He'd been quiet and fidgety all morning, and I knew it was because he thought we would miss our flight, which may or may not have anything to do with my tendency to always arrive late to everything.<p>

"Never doubted you," Dimitri grunted as he shuffled into our row and sat in the seat by the window. Though he'd offered it to me, I hadn't thrown up yet this morning and I didn't trust myself enough to sit farther away from the bathroom than we already were. A quick getaway might be necessary, so I'd turned down Dimitri's offer of the prized seat.

I yawned as I settled in, and Dimitri folded his arm around me. It had been a busy morning, and I was only operating on four hours of sleep. Luckily the flight was ridiculously long, according to Dimitri. I'd have plenty of time to rest, something that he demanded I get plenty of.

"Tired?" Dimitri asked as he arranged himself in a comfortable position. It was no easy task for a man his size, but he did the best he could.

"Exhausted." I yawned again for good measure. Dimitri chuckled as he pulled the complimentary blanket out from the seat and laid it over me. I leaned my head against him and sighed happily. I would let myself feel nervous later.

"Do you remember the first time we were on a plane together?" Dimitri asked as he wrapped one of his arms around my shoulder again. I laughed.

"Of course. I hated your guts for taking Lissa and me back to the Academy," I recalled. Still, everything turned out alright, I thought to myself.

"I was so impressed with you, you know," Dimitri said. I looked at him questioningly. "You defended Lissa when you knew you didn't have a shot. It was...admirable." He shrugged.

"Thanks, comrade," I said, smiling. We sat in comfortable silence for a few moments.

"When did you change your mind about me?" He eventually asked. I looked up at him, still smiling.

"One of the first training sessions, I think. Then even more so when you kicked Jesse out of the lounge," I remembered. Dimitri growled.

"I was ready to kill him," he muttered.

"I know," I said, looking away for a moment. What at the time had seemed like a fun make out session with one of the cutest guys in school now held only embarrassment for me. I was ashamed at how...easy I seemed to everyone else. Of course, they probably thought that anyway, seeing as I was pregnant.

"But for the record, I'm glad you brought us back," I whispered, meeting his eyes again. They swam with emotion, and he kissed me for a long moment before sighing and pulling my blanket over me again. I hadn't realized it slipped-Dimitri kept me plenty warm without the blanket.

"Get some sleep, Roza," he said gently, a smile playing at his lips. I obeyed, and as I drifted off to sleep I heard the squeak of a chair from the older man in front of us. Too lazy to open my eyes, I remained in my sleep-like position, knowing Dimitri would handle the guy if he was a problem.

"That's some looker you got there. A real beauty," the man said in admiration. I was about to rouse myself from sleepiness and tell the man to bug off, but Dimitri's words beat me to it.

"I know," he said quietly, though his arms tightened around me defensively. I heard another squeak as the man turned around and smiled as I snuggled deeper against Dimitri, feeling safe and loved. I drifted off to sleep with the smile still on my lips and the promise of meeting his family ringing through my head.

* * *

><p>"Rose, it's going to be okay," Dimitri said in amusement after slamming his door shut. I turned to look at him, my eyebrows raised in disbelief.<p>

"I'm about to meet your family, who know nothing about us other than the fact that you were my mentor, for the first time. This is terrifying. How are you so calm about this? Will they try to kill us like Abe did? Oh god, I'm going to die," I finished, eyes staring out the windshield at the grey parking lot under the dreary sky. Normally I tried to keep my cool in uncertain situations, but right now my nerves were escaping though constant chatter. Dimitri shook his head as he started the rental car and backed out of the parking space.

"I've told you Rose, they'll won't be angry. They won't try to kill either of us. Just breathe, okay?" He eyed me, still amused, but I could see the concern starting to creep up in his features. I nodded.

"And that's not all they know about you. I've hinted enough about how I feel about you that I'm sure they have the idea. They know you graduated-you're fair game," he said, pointing us on the road to Baia, his hometown. I shrunk down in my seat.

"But, a baby? Will they be alright with it?" I asked worriedly. The family "talks" we'd had with my own parents had my imagination working into overdrive. I didn't know what to expect, so I assumed the worst.

"It doesn't matter, Rose. There's nothing they can do. My oldest sister already has children, and another is pregnant-if anything they'll be thrilled for us," he pointed out. I sighed and stared out the window to the busy street, not thoroughly convinced.

"And besides, I thought you were dying to meet them," he said, eyes on the road. I groaned in frustration.

"I am. I want to know about your life and where you grew up and all of that, but...what if they don't like me?" I questioned once more as we stopped at a red light. Dimitri turned to meet my eyes.

"Rosemarie Hathaway, they will _love_ you. Every single one of them."

"But how do you know?" I couldn't resist asking.

"Because _I _love you," he said. He leaned in to kiss me, but the light turned green before he could get close enough. He reluctantly returned to the road but reached out for my hand, which I held gratefully.

I leaned my head against the cool glass of the window and closed my eyes for a minute. Why was I being such a chicken? I wondered. Strigoi I could deal with-I had grown up learning about them and their weaknesses. But my boyfriend's family? That was uncharted territory. I had no idea how to win them over, and that scared the hell out of me.

I opened my eyes two hours later and blinked sleepily. Dimitri was leaning over me, gently shaking me awake. "We're here, Rose," he said happily. I nodded but didn't open my mouth for fear of talking too much again. I opened my door, climbed out, and stretched my arms back. Dimitri came around the tiny silver car and watched hungrily as I arched my back, enjoying the feel of stretching my tense muscles.

"See something you like?" I taunted, bringing up the first moment the two of us had felt a real connection. Dimitri smiled as he reached for my hand.

"Absolutely," he said, and we ascended the stairs to his childhood home. I heard the sound of Russian voices as the family ran around, probably trying to get everything ready for one of the rare visits Dimitri was paying them. I looked at Dimitri once more and he kissed me one last time before knocking loudly. Excited screams were clearly audible through the wooden door, and I took a deep breath and steeled myself for the moment I'd both anticipated and dreaded. Showtime.

* * *

><p><strong>So you're about to meet the family, probably for the hundredth time for some people, haha. Get ready!<strong>


	21. Truth Be Told

**I'm sorry it took so long to update! I was going through writing withdrawal this past week, seeing as I barely had time to sit down with my laptop. I hope you like this chapter! Your reviews were so great, and I always LOVE reading them. Please tell me what you think about this one!**

* * *

><p><em>Excited screams were clearly audible through the wooden door, and I took a deep breath and steeled myself for the moment I'd both anticipated and dreaded. Showtime.<em>

The door burst open, and standing before me was a middle aged woman with a beaming face and a younger girl, probably in her early teens. Before Dimitri could say a word the young girl shouted "Dimka!" and leaped on him, hugging him tightly. he laughed and murmured something to her and Russian, and the moment she backed off the older woman, who I took to be his mother, gave him a gentler version of the girl's hug.

"Mama, Viktoria, this is Rose. Rose, my mother Olena and sister," Dmitri said proudly, wrapping an arm around my waist. I smiled at them, and Viktoria turned her excitement to me, enveloping me in a hug. I patted her back awkwardly, not exactly sure what to do.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Rose. We've heard so much about you," Olena said warmly, taking my hands in hers.

"It's nice to meet you too," I said, and I meant it. She must have been a beautiful woman, I thought to myself as I looked into her eyes. Though she was pretty still, her features were marred by age and the elements, though not as bad as the guardians at school. Probably because she hadn't dedicated her life to being a guardian. Instead she'd actually raised her kids.

Two other women suddenly appeared, and there was another shout of "Dimka!" as a very pregnant woman barreled into Dimitri for a hug. That must have been his sister Sonya. He'd told me she was pregnant, and not upset at all by it. I'd been looking forward to talking to her, honestly. I wanted to know what she thought was so great about it, because right now I was stuck in the "well, nothing else can be done" frame of mind where I was neither excited nor freaking out.

"Karolina, Sonya, this is Rose, Dimitri's girlfriend," Viktoria bubbled excitedly. Butterflies exploded in my stomach at the word _girlfriend_. It still amazed me that the term could be used to describe us.

"Finally!" Sonya cried happily, embracing me with slightly less force than Viktoria. Karolina, the oldest sister, just nodded at me. My warning senses immediately went off-she didn't like me, I could tell.

"Well, come in then. You can get your bags later. Dinner's almost ready," Olena said, beckoning everyone in the house. Dimitri guided me through the door with his hand at the small of my back.

I had barely stepped inside when a loud _thump thump thump_ sounded from the stairs. A little boy, probably not more than ten or eleven, ran down the stairs with an energy that must have driven his family insane.

"Uncle Dimitri!" he yelled, but then came to a screeching halt when he saw me. "You brought a lady," he said, incredulous.

"Hey, Paul! This is Rose. Rose, this is Karolina's son Paul," Dimitri explained as he crouched down to hug his nephew. I waved at the boy as he looked at me over Dimitri's shoulder, and he smiled shyly.

"Hi," he said quietly before ducking behind his mother. She muttered something in Russian and closed her eyes for a moment.

"Well, come on, come on. We've got plenty of food. You must be starving," Olena said, pushing us into the kitchen. Dimitri reached out for my hand, and we walked into the kitchen together. The smell coming from the pans on the stove was so familiar I stopped in my tracks. It was the fried mystery lumps, as I'd affectionately named them, the ones Dimitri made for us on one of our dinner dates. I smiled at the memory.

"It's almost done. You can have a seat at the table if you like," Viktoria said kindly. I offered her a tired smile and Dimitri ruffled her hair as we turned to plop into the wooden chairs. I nearly did a double take, however, when I noticed a much older woman seated at the head of the table. Her eyes were lined and spoke of things I had never experienced, and I felt them piercing my soul.

"Rose, this is my grandmother, Yeva," Dimitri said. He said something in Russian to the woman, presumably introducing me. She nodded slightly, but then continued her calculated stare. I crossed my arms in front of me, suddenly uncomfortable.

Paul pulled on his mother's sleeve and asked her something quickly in Russian, and she thought for a moment before nodding. He clapped his hands once before running out the back door to the backyard beyond it. Dimitri looked at her questioningly, but she merely shrugged.

Sonya gave a theatrical sigh as she threw herself into her seat and draped her arm over her stomach, and Karolina was just about to sit as well when the sound of crying penetrated the sound of the sizzling food and cheery voices of Olena and Viktoria.

"That'll be the baby monitor," Viktoria said sympathetically, watching Karolina as she stormed out of the kitchen and towards the stairs.

"Is she okay?" I asked Dimitri, frowning. He looked to Sonya.

"Yeah. She's just tired of everything. But then again, who isn't?" Sonya groaned, rubbing her stomach gently. "I'm getting sick of feeling like a whale." Viktoria danced over from where she'd been chatting in Russian with her mom and snorted.

"Yeah right. You love being pregnant," Viktoria accused. My head snapped to Sonya in interest. Oh yes, I definitely had some questions for her.

"You're right," Sonya acknowledged as she repositioned herself at the table. I felt a pang of envy rack through me-why couldn't it be like this for me? Why couldn't I feel proud and happy to be a mother? Dimitri squeezed my hand gently, and I looked into his face to see compassion and love light his features-he understood how I felt.

"So, you just graduated from St. Vladimirs, right?" Viktoria asked as she sat across from me. I could feel curiosity spurring on what was sure to be a long string of questions.

"Yep," I said, nodding. She breathed out something that sounded like "cool!" I smiled.

"You must be pretty amazing, with Dimka as your mentor," Sonya said affectionately.

"She's the best, but not because of me. Rose is the best fighter I've seen," Dimitri said proudly, turning to kiss my cheek. I couldn't help but chuckle. Around any other people I would have been mortified at the public display of affection, especially with all the gossip running around about us at home, but with his family it just felt so natural. Like I could relax and just enjoy being with him.

"I saw your _molnija_ marks," Viktoria said eagerly as she set plates down on the table. Then she frowned. "But where's your promise mark? Do you get them later in America?" I looked to Dimitri, completely lost for words. What was our story, anyhow? I thought Dimitri was about to explain the whole thing, but before he could say a word Olena appeared with a whole tray of the familiar fried mystery lumps.

"Dinner's ready," she called as she deposited the tray on the table with a flourish. I looked at her gratefully, wishing I could tell her just how much she'd saved my neck right there. She sat down with the rest of the family minus Karolina, who was still with baby Zoya.

"So Rose, have you been at St. Vladimir's your whole life?" Olena asked as she passed Yeva a plate of mystery lumps.

"Just about. I left for a couple years in high school," I explained breezily, hoping they wouldn't bring it up. Not a chance. Viktoria stared at me dumbfoundly.

"Why would you do that?" she asked. I took the offered plate from Olena and sighed.

"It's kind of a long story," I hedged.

"I want to hear it," Viktoria said stubbornly. Just like Dimitri. Speaking of, he nudged me gently, telling me to go on. I nodded and put my fork down.

"When I was young, my best friend Vasilisa Dragomir (Sonya and Viktoria gasped in recognition of the name) and I made a kind of pact. I was going to be her guardian, and she would be my Moroi. But after her family died, leaving her the last of the Dragomirs, she was targeted by this creep who did some pretty messed up stuff." I took a breath, remembering the dead animals that had driven Lissa over the edge.

"He left dying animals where he knew she'd find them, and it was...pretty bad," I admitted. Viktoria had stopped eating and was hanging onto my every word. Sonya just looked sick.

"We didn't know who had done it or why, but when it turned dangerous," I tried to glaze over Lissa's cutting, "Lissa and I ran. Two years later, Dimitri shows up and hauls us back to the Academy," I said lightly, bumping his arm slightly. Olena smiled. "And the rest is history."

"Wow," Viktoria breathed, still not returning to her food. I, on the other hand, was trying my best not to look like I was scarfing it down. "So you missed two years but still got Novice of the Year?" I looked at Dimitri questioningly, and he shrugged with his mouthful of food. I guess he'd told his family about my graduation.

"Yeah. I never saw it coming," I said before taking another bite. To my surprise, Dimitri reached to hold my free hand in his. I took it gladly, a tingling sensation flooding through my body at his touch. I looked back at his family to see them smiling endearingly at us.

"I did," Dimitri told me, his easy smile dancing across his lips. "You're the best there is." I swear I started to blush under his praise.

"So, are you going to guard your friend?" Sonya asked after the tender moment had passed.

"Yup," I nodded, grateful someone had asked a question about my future that I could answer at this moment.

"Guarding the last Dragomir princess? That's awesome!" Viktoria enthused. We talked a bit about being a guardian for a few more minutes, Dimitri contributing his experiences, until Olena rose to clear the plates.

"Wow, Zoya must be really upset," Sonya said worriedly. "Karolina hasn't come down yet." She looked at the baby monitor where it rested on its shelf, then blushed when she realized there were sleeping baby coos coming from it. There was no second voice. Karolina hadn't come down because she hadn't wanted to be around, I realized, and I suddenly felt nauseous. I didn't want to cause drama in his family, but the look on Dimitri's face alerted me that that was exactly what was happening-he looked pissed.

"Don't worry about it," I murmured, standing up to help Olena.

"I'll go talk to her," Viktoria said hurriedly as she rushed out of the room.

"I guess this is my cue to leave too," Sonya said as she pushed herself out of the chair with a great deal of effort. She half waddled, half walked outside to the porch.

Dimitri, still visibly annoyed, turned to help me with the silverware, but Paul came running in from outside. His faced was flushed from lots of running, but he spoke in rapid Russian to Dimitri, asking for something. Dimitri nodded and started to follow after him with a helpless look in my direction. I smiled as I grabbed the remaining silverware. It didn't take a genius to see that Paul loved his uncle.

"I'm glad you're here, Rose," Olena said when I joined her by the sink and started to dry the plates she had already washed. Yes, _me_.

"I'm glad to be here," I said earnestly.

"You seem...good for him," Olena said lightly, but I knew where this conversation was headed. I decided to bring it up to spare us both the hedging.

"You're not upset that this started while I was a student?" I asked, setting the first plate on the counter and grabbing the next. Olena paused in her scrubbing and thought for a moment.

"No. Perhaps a little disappointed in Dimka, but it's obvious that you two belong together, and I have no idea how things were between you while you were at school. You've made him happy, Rose, so how could I be angry?" She started to wash the forks, and I grabbed the next plate.

"Well, um, thanks," I said awkwardly. She nodded, and we returned to the dishes in silence. I was surprised she'd taken it so well. It made me wonder how she'd take the news about the baby. Would she believe me, or would she think I cheated? I was tempted to tell her, to see what she'd say, but knew now wasn't the time. I laid the last plate on the towel and Olena stopped the sink water, turning to face me.

I knew she was about to say something, something obviously important, but Dimitri burst into the kitchen with Paul on his back, cutting her off before she could speak.

Dimitri said something in Russian and his nephew slid off before scampering out the door. Dimitri rose to his full height and let his ponytail out of its tie, seeing as it was all askew now anyway.

"You look tired," he said sympathetically, coming to join us.

"Of course she does. She's had a lot to deal with," Olena said defensively. "So go to sleep, both of you." She made a gentle shooing motion, kicking us out of the kitchen. We laughed as she hurried out into the hallway. Paul was nowhere to be seen.

Dimitri took my hand and pulled me to him, kissing me softly. I smiled up at him.

"So what do you think?" he asked quietly.

"I think they're great," I said truthfully. "Especially Viktoria. She's so...dynamic," I said after struggling to find the right word. Dimitri laughed.

"She can be a little too enthusiastic at times. Sonya seems to like you too," he added, watching my expression. I nodded.

"She's really nice. Her outlook on the whole pregnancy thing is very different," I admitted, looking away from him. I was suddenly struggling to hold back tears.

"Rose, look at me," Dimitri said softly. I complied, and he cupped my face in his hands.

"It can be like that for you. It doesn't have to be so horrible. Right now all this has brought you is pain and sadness, but it doesn't have to anymore. You're not in school now-you can make this into what you want," he said gently. I stepped away and wiped my eyes.

"You're right," I admitted, than took a deep breath to calm myself. "So when do we tell them?" I asked briskly. Dimitri took my hand again.

"Tomorrow, when everyone is together," he explained as he started to lead me up the stairs.

"Wow," I said nervously, my other hand resting on my stomach as we climbed. _It'll be okay,_ I thought to myself.

We stopped outside a wooden door down the hallway on the second floor. Dimitri opened it, flicked on the light, and gestured for me to enter.

I gasped when I stepped inside. It was obviously his room. I could smell his aftershave lingering in the sheets and in the air, though he hadn't been there for months. I tried to imagine little Dimitri growing up, sleeping in this room every night. It seemed so strange to me.

"This is my room," Dimitri said unnecessarily. "I brought our bags up before." He motioned towards them, and I nodded. "Are you okay?" he asked, eying me suspiciously. I laughed a little.

"Yeah. I just can't believe I'm in your house. In Russia," I added. Dimitri stepped towards me, a mysterious glint in his eye.

"I'm having trouble believing it myself," he admitted, his voice growing husky. I looked at him questioningly, but before I could say another word he brought his lips to mine gently.

It wasn't long before I deepened the kiss, and I could feel the same flame I'd felt in the cabin that night rekindle.

"What about your family?" I gasped when he moved to kiss my neck.

"Sleeping down the hall," he murmured as his hands slipped under my shirt.

"You sure?" I panted as his lips moved lower.

"Absolutely," he said firmly before pulling my shirt over my head. He laid me down gently against the bed and hovered over me, looking into my eyes.

"I love you Roza," he whispered.

"I love you too," I said, my hand reaching up to trace his lips.

And that was the last we spoke for the rest of the night.

* * *

><p>"Rose, wake up. Rose. Rose!" Dimitri hissed as he tried to shake me awake. I groaned and stretched my aching muscles, smiling at the memory of last night.<p>

"What do you want, comrade?" I asked sleepily, finally sitting up. Dimitri eyed my naked body appreciatively.

"Breakfast is ready. I think it's time to tell them," he said excitedly. I yawned and pushed myself off the bed, stumbling over to my suitcase to grab clothes.

"How do you think they'll take it?" I asked as I clipped my bra on and grabbed a t shirt.

"Only one way to find out," he said easily. I buttoned my jeans and surveyed my appearance in the mirror. I looked like I just got laid. I groaned again and rifled through my bag for a brush to tame my mass of hair.

Dimitri laughed at my annoyed face and quickly pulled me in and kissed me. I playfully wiggled out of his hold and returned to the mirror, trying to look presentable.

"You look fine," Dimitri said with a trace of impatience. I threw my hair into a ponytail and took a breath. It was as good as I was going to get, I thought.

"Okay, okay," I grumbled as I accepted his hand. Butterflies attacked my stomach with a vengeance, and I gulped to try to keep them at bay. They only fought harder when we walked into the kitchen and saw _everyone_ there-including Karolina, who glared at me as she rocked Zoya in a car seat on the floor with her foot. Apparently the were going somewhere, but my hopes were dashed when I noticed the full plate of eggs and toast in front of her. She wasn't leaving anytime soon.

We were greeted by a chorus of hellos from the table, and Olena handed us each a plate.

"I hope you slept well," she said cheerily. I nodded and tried not to look at Dimitri. Truth be told I'd barely even slept, thanks to my Russian god.

"Very well, thanks," I said as I took the empty seat next to Viktoria. Dimitri sat beside me and next to Paul, much to his nephew's delight.

"I'm surprised you two slept at all," Sonya said. I froze with a forkful of eggs on the way to my mouth. "Since Zoya was screaming like a banshee," she clarified, looking at our horrified expressions in confusion.

Viktoria snorted softly as she took a swig of what looked like apple juice. I could feel my face burning, so I stared at my plate as the family talked amongst each other, sometimes in Russian, other times in English. When I looked up again it was to see Yeva staring at me like she had the night before. Chills ran down my spine as she watched me. I wondered what she thought she was seeing.

I tried to seem calm as everyone's food disappeared from their plates. Dimitri squeezed my hand under the table reassuringly, and I nodded at him. My heart was in my throat. I desperately wanted the family's acceptance, but I wasn't sure if I'd still have it after this. He looked into my eyes and smiled before turning to his family and clearing his throat.

"Rose and I have something we'd like to tell you," he said. His excitement was bubbling under his words. _Oh god, this is it,_ I thought. I gulped one last time and tried to smile at everyone. "Rose is pregnant."

There was a brief clattering of dropped forks, and then silence. Panic rose up as I met the disbelieving stares of his family._ Shit._


	22. Family Bonding

**I feel soooo bad for not updating! The truth is...I don't really have an excuse. I have _reasons,_ but they're terrible. Like obsessively watching Supernatural and working on my summer reading. It took my internet collapsing for a few days to even sit down and write this chapter out. It's been done since Monday, but I just got my internet back, so...here you go. Please don't hate me for my absence! I think I'm scared to keep writing, because I know all this is coming to an end. But I'll never just leave this story unfinished, I promise you that. So please keep checking in!**

**Okay, not sure how I feel about this one...Tell me what you think? :)**

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><p>"How can this be?" Olena finally asked, breaking the stunned silence. All the Belikov women but Yeva stared at me, shock clearly displayed on their faces. Paul looked from his mother, to his grandmother, then to me, trying to figure out what was going on. Karolina rose stiffly and called his name, motioning for him to follow her. She led him out of the kitchen and returned a moment later to take her seat. Now the grownups were ready to play, I thought drily.<p>

Dimitri shifted in his seat and folded his hands, ready to kick off on the speech I'm sure he'd already prepared.

"It's a little bit of a long story, so I ask that you be patient," Dimitri began cautiously. His family nodded slowly, and Yeva looked up and met my eyes. This time it was more than the knowing stare- it held pity.

"About three years ago, Rose was involved in a car crash that killed her and her friend Lissa's family," he explained. Understandably, he was immediately met with protests.

"Wait, killed _Rose?_ She's still alive, Dimka," Sonya pointed out.

"That's because Lissa is a spirit user. She unknowingly brought Rose back to life," Dimitri countered.

"Spirit...Is that the new element you were telling us about?" Viktoria asked. Dimitri nodded and looked at me, seeing if I wanted to continue it. I nodded slightly.

"When Lissa saved me, I became bound to her. It's kind of hard to explain, but spirit gets its power from the user's being, from themselves. If it's used too much, it can destory them emotionally, and, well, spiritually," I tried to explain. "But since I'm bound to Lissa, some of the darkness from using spirit leaks into me, keeping her from the dangerous effects."

"That sounds...impossible," Sonya said hesitantly. Dimitri took one of my hands in his under the table and squeezed lightly, lending me his support. I nodded to Sonya.

"I know it does, but it's true."

"Well, say it is true. What does this have to do with you being pregnant?" Olena asked edgily, looking from me to Dimitri. Dimitri squeezed my hand once more, signaling that he'd take over. I gladly let him-I didn't like the nearly hostile glares of his family focused on me.

"When Lissa healed Rose, she ended up giving her a part of herself. That's how we think it's possible. The doctor said Rose's Moroi portion of her DNA is greater than her dhampir part. It was enough to make conception possible." I automatically flinched at the word. Did he have to say it like that?

"So, you're saying that Rose is more Moroi than dhampir?" Sonya asked curiously. I was relieved to see the hard, distrusting light leave her eyes and her old friendliness start to reappear. Dimitri nodded.

"Wow. That's just-wow," Sonya said, leaning back in her chair and letting out a gust of air.

"It really is," Olena said softly. She wore a gentle smile, and I felt another part of my worried mind relax. Two down, three to go, if I counted Yeva. Which I did. Something told me that she understood exactly what was going on, maybe even before the others did.

"Dimka, you're going to be a dad!" Viktoria squealed. To my total surprise, she lept up and hugged him tightly around the neck, then latched onto me. "Congratulations, you guys!" I wish I could have told her how much that really meant to me. As it was, I gave her the warmest smile I could muster.

"Thanks, Viktoria," I said sincerely, leaning against Dimitri slightly.

"So, do you guys have names picked out?" Sonya asked eagerly. I was about to explain how sudden all of this was, leaving Dimitri and me little time to plan, but before I could speak there was a loud scraping sound as Karolina pushed herself away from the table.

Everything stopped as she stood up and stared at me, a look of utter disgust on her face. She looked like she was about to say something, but instead shook her head and stormed out of the kitchen. Olena called after her in Russian, but Karolina didn't look back.

I let go of Dimitri's hand and stared at mine, too ashamed to meet anyone's eyes. I'd just done exactly what I'd hoped to prevent. I created a tear in the family I'd tried to think of as my own.

"Don't mind her," Viktoria said quietly. I tried to look like it didn't bother me, but judging from the sympathetic looks I was getting it didn't work. I glanced over at Dimitri to see his reaction but immediately wished I hadn't. His eyes were spitting fire, and his knuckels were white from the pressure he was exerting on his balled fists clenched at his sides.

After another awkwardly silent moment, Olena tried to diffuse the tension and rose to start cleaning the remains of breakfast. "Everyone out. Except you, Dimitri," she said authoritatively, then spoke in Russian to Yeva. Guessing by the length of whatever she was saying to her mother it wasn't the same command she'd given everyone else, but still Yeva rose and left the room, not looking at me as she passed. I was still confused-was she my ally or was she against me here?

"Rose, I'd like Dimitri to help me clean up alone, if you don't mind," Olena said kindly but firmly. I nodded and thanked her for the food, received a gentle kiss from Dimitri, then walked out into the hall, not quite sure what to do with myself. Something told me Dimitri was about to get the what-the-hell-were-you-thinking talk despite the fact that he was into his twenties.

After a moment I heard a few calls from baby Zoya coming from the front porch. I hesitated only a moment before quietly easing the door open and peering out. Karolina sat rocking her baby gently back and forth at the far end of the porch. I had a short inner war with myself on what to do-talk to her or let her cool down? I knew she didn't want to see me now, that much was obvious. But I couldn't let things go as they were. With anyone else I would have run right into a confrontation, hackles raised and anticipating the upcoming fight. But this...this was different. This was Dimitri's family.

I slowly stepped onto the porch, still unnoticed by Karolina. I meant to walk right up to her and try to win her over, but something stopped me. I watched Karolina cradle Zoya softly, slowly rocking her arms and staring into her baby's face.

"They're a lot of work, but worth it," Karolina said quietly. Though she still looked into her baby's face I knew it was directed at me. Damn. I immediately felt stupid-looks like she knew I was there the whole time.

I stepped forward boldly until I was just a few steps away from Karolina. She glanced me over.

"I don't believe you, you know." she said gruffly, still rocking the half-sleeping Zoya.

"I know you don't, but it's true. I love Dimitri and would never cheat on him," I said firmly in my old Rose way. Karolina looked down at her baby.

"Words hold no meaning-only actions do. You can't trust a person based on their words," she said quietly. I could feel the sadness radiating from her. She'd been hurt before, that much I could tell, but I couldn't help the anger that flared up. Why couldn't she believe me? Why did she let the people who hurt her rule her outlook on life? It just seemed so wrong to me.

It became clear that Karolina was done talking to me. I stood around for a moment, but then turned to go back into the house. I wasn't done with Karolina yet, but I thought it might be best to leave her alone for now, until the ghosts of problems past had left her alone.

Still musing over what to make of Karolina, I was about to walk straight into the kitchen when I heard Olena and Dimitri talking as they stood by the sink. To my total surprise, they were speaking English. I leaned against the wall behind the door to hear what was going on, trying to remain unseen this time. I couldn't help it-I had to listen.

"She's so young to be having a child, Dimka. Especially for someone who does what you do. It's going to be tough for her to handle everything," I heard Olena chastise. I expected Dimitri to point the finger at Karolina, who must have had Paul at or around the same age as me. Instead, he agreed with her.

"I know, mama. But we had no way of knowing Rose could get pregnant. It's always been impossible," he said sheepishly.

"And...you're sure that it isn't impossible?" Olena asked hesitantly. This may come as a shock to you, but I wasn't offended or anything-she was just making absolutely sure. After all, it sounded slightly ridiculous. And honestly, I wanted to know what Dimitri was going to say. I wasn't about to storm off and silently brood by myself for hours.

"I trust Rose; she wouldn't lie about something like this. I didn't believe her when she first told me either, and I still feel terrible about it. She's not that kind of girl," he said honestly.

"I'll give you that. It makes even less sense for her to be lying. I just," she sighed, and for the first time I heard her shove something into the soapy bucket under the faucet, "I like Rose very much. I don't want to see her get hurt. Promise me you'll take care of her?"

I felt a weird tugging sensation at the back of my throat. She barely knew me, but already Dimitri's mother was concerned about me. I admit it-I was touched.

"Of course I will. Rose is my first priority-nothing will happen to her while I'm here," Dimitri promised. I could hear the truth in his words, and I couldn't help but smile.

I decided now was the time to make my entrance. It would look suspicious if I walked in just as they finished their conversation, so I strolled in before either of them could say anything else.

"Are you finished?" I asked innocently, looking from Olena to Dimitri. Olena smiled and nodded, pushing Dimitri toward me.

"Just about. You two go do...something," she said as she turned back to her pile of still-dirty dishes. I laughed, slipping my hand in Dimitri's as he led me out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

"Where are we going?" I asked as we reached the first landing. Without a word Dimitri whipped around and whisked me into a hug, twirling me around as he kissed me long and hard. He was breathless when he finally let me down and let go of my lips.

"To see the rest of the house," he said, grinning.

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><p>"Hey, Dimka! You can't have her all to yourself," Sonya called out when we headed down the stairs to the second floor after investigating the third. She was standing in the doorway to a light blue room that must have been hers.<p>

"Oh yes I can," Dimitri said warningly, letting go of my hand to slide an arm possessively around my waist. I laughed.

"Well, can I _borrow_ Rose for a few minutes?" she asked, rolling her eyes. This was actually just what I'd been waiting for-a chance to talk to talk to Sonya. I reached up to kiss Dimitri lightly on the lips.

"See you in a bit, cowboy," I told him as I slipped out of his embrace. He chuckled, and I followed Sonya into her little bedroom.

I couldn't hold back the gasp that escaped me when I saw the wall next to her four poster bed. A section of it was completely masked by pictures that all had to do with her baby. There were pictures of Sonya at different stages and sizes, magazine cut-outs of a smiling mother holding her adorable baby, and a whole bunch of ultrasounds. I walked over to them slowly to examine them more closely. The first few were smudgy, and when you could finally really make out the shape of the baby it looked like jello in a baby-ish form. The last one, probably the most recent, was slightly less gelatin and more definite. I couldn't help but stare at it, and my hand automatically flew to my stomach over my own baby.

"It's my vision board," Sonya explained, coming up behind me. I just nodded. "How far along are you?" she asked gently. The nervous tone in her voice said it all-she wasn't sure if it would bother me or not. I suppose she guessed my excitement level was relatively low at the moment.

"Almost nine weeks," I said, turning to face her and dropping my hand. Her worried expression slipped off and was replaced by a dazzling smile.

"I remember the early days," Sonya said theatrically as she threw herself backwards onto her bed, then propped herself up to look at me. "Enjoy it while you can, before the hormones and cravings really hit," she said wisely.

I figured if there was anyone to confide in about my incompetence it would be her, so I decided to open up to her. Couldn't hurt, I reasoned.

"I don't really know much about...all this," I confessed. "About...being pregnant and babies. I spent so much time trying to hide it, and then with graduation and moving into the apartment...I haven't had time to look it up or anything." Embarrassed, I looked back to her vision board. It was almost funny, how different we were from each other. Her the excited mother-to-be and me the terrified knocked up teenager.

Sonya thought for a moment before climbing off her bed. She lowered herself to the floor gently despite my bewildered protests, and then dug around under the bed for a moment before pulling out a cardboard box. I took the box from her and turned to help her up, and she breathlessly thanked me as she sat back down on the bed and took the box on her lap. She tossed the top off carelessly, then rifled through it for a minute. I guess whatever she was looking for was there, because she held the whole box to me.

"These are all my books on pregnancy and childcare. Some of them are in Russian-have Dimka read you those. But I was on a work-on-my-English kick in the beginning, so you can read some of them. Take it. I don't need them anymore," Sonya urged, pushing it out farther in my direction.

"Wow. Thanks," I said gratefully as I took the box. And I really meant it. Maybe now I could have some clue as to what I was supposed to be doing about my baby.

Sonya once again clambered off the bed, but this time she pulled me into a tight hug. I patted her back awkwardly, not really sure what to do.

"We never thought Dimitri would get to have a family," Sonya said thickly when she let me go. "He was too dedicated to his job. But then he started mentioning this pupil he had when he called home. And we heard all about you once, twice, three times. When we asked about you, he told us you were graduating and what a great guardian you'd make. We all started to hope, that maybe..." Her voice trailed off and she looked away, obviously lost in thought. I stayed quiet, waiting for her to continue. She smiled when she looked back at me, tears starting to swim in her eyes.

"I'm so happy for the both of you, Rose. The whole family is. Mom, Viktoria, Yeva, we're all glad." She didn't mention Karolina.

"Wait, your grandmother is?" I asked, frowning a little. "I can't tell with her." Sonya laughed.

"She said she knew you were pregnant the minute you walked through the door. Said you had this glow around you," she said, smiling.

"Glow?" I asked. I heard that expression used all the time about pregnant women, but I doubt it described me. I was in no way radiating with joy about all of this. Was I happy? Yes. Did I regret it? No, not at all. I could never say that now. But compare me to some of the people who would kill to have a baby but can't, and who go through all those treatments and then they find out they are pregnant, and I'm miserable in comparison.

"Yes, glow. You're happy, Rose, and we're glad," Sonya said warmly. Then she took a deep breath. "And don't worry about Karolina. She'll come around. She's sort of lost all faith in humanity," she admitted. I nodded.

"I kind of got that feeling. Zoya's father-" I started hesitantly, but Sonya cut me off.

"Left her high and dry. Yeah. But Karolina's pretty much always been like this. Eventually she'll see what the rest of us see-especially after the baby's born," Sonya chuckled. "Unless it's a ginger. Then we may have some issues." It was my turn to laugh now.

"Definitely not," I assured her, trying not to think of Mason. If things had gone differently that night in the ski lodge...who knew? But nothing _had_ happened, and I was with Dimitri now-no guilt necessary, I told myself. Sonya smiled at me then looked at her watch, doing a double take when she saw the time.

"Oops! I have to get going to work. I'll talk to you later, Rose," Sonya said quickly as she grabbed a jacket hanging off her closet doorknob.

"Yeah. Thanks for the books," I said again as she just about sprinted out of her room, big stomach and all.

"No problem!" she called as she hurried down the stairs. I smiled to myself as I hugged the box tight and started off toward Dimitri's room. Excitement whirled through my mind, and I tried to block out all worries of Karolina. For now I would enjoy Dimitri and his family and stop worrying about things that were out of my control, I told myself. Yeah right. Still, I was eager to hole up in Dimitri's room, snuggle up against him, and start learning about our baby. Oh yes, Rose Hathaway the dedicated student. That's me.


	23. When All is Said and Done

**Guys...I wish I had words for the shame I feel right now. I know it's been months since I uploaded. And I feel so terrible. I hope some of you will find this again and return to reading it, because I plan on finishing it for real this time. I just sat down and cranked this one out today, and it probably isn't up to par with my previous chapters, but it's a start. I plan to upload more this week **fingers crossed**, hopefully of better quality. I missed you all, and I'm reaaaaally sorry 3 3 I hope you can find it in your hearts to tell me what you think of this one.**

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><p>"Do you really have to go?" A teary-eyed Viktoria asked me a week later. I hugged her.<p>

"I wish we didn't," I said regretfully when I pulled back. "It's been so nice here. I'm glad I got the chance to meet all of you."

"Us too, Rose," Sonya said as she pulled me to her for a bone crushing embrace before holding me out at arm's length and pursing her lips. "You take care of yourself and little junior-I want sonograms, pictures, and detailed phone calls!" she said, putting her hands on her hips. I laughed.

"Same for you Sonya. Tell me how everything goes," I said sincerely. We'd become pretty close during my stay here, and I was sad to say goodbye. She, more than anyone else, had helped me see the baby in a new light. With my bags packed with her baby books, I felt like I could handle anything and everything.

Dimitri came around from where he'd been saying a private goodbye to Olena and wrapped Sonya in a hug before standing back and slipping an arm around my waist.

"Make sure you take care," he warned. "If the baby is anything like you she'll be kicking up a fuss half the time," he said with a smile. Sonya playfully hit him and I watched as they launched into a sibling play-fight, the two of them closer to thirty than they were to children. Though I guess you could make a case that 30-year-olds are still kids. I grinned.

"They are completely ridiculous," Olena sighed, coming to stand by my side. She looked down at me.

"I really am glad you came," she said softly. "It's so good to know Dimitri will be happy. It's great to have you as a part of our family." Looking into her eyes, I wish I could have told her just how much those words meant to me. I'd gotten everything I wanted, it seemed. My eyes flitted to Karolina, who stood back a ways with Yeva, holding little Zoya. She smiled at me and I grinned back, turning back a few days in my mind to when she'd finally accepted me...

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><p>"Viktoria-I need you to take care of Zoya for me for a few hours. I just got called into work for an emergency," Karolina said hurriedly as she rushed around the front door, grabbing her scarf and coat. I looked up from where I sat curled up in one of the recliners in the living room, pouring over my baby development book.<p>

Viktoria rose from the couch where she'd been sitting and stretched.

"No can do. I'm going out with Dominika. Ask mama?" she suggested as she began to tug her shoes on. Karolina growled in frustration.

"She just left with Yeva to go shopping. Sonya's at work. I don't have anyone else," she said though gritted teeth, obviously avoiding my eyes. But that didn't stop me.

"I can help," I said, closing my book. Dimitri had gone to Viktoria's school to visit some old friends, and had suggsted I stay and rest. He loved how absorbed I was in learning about our baby; he didn't want anything getting in the way of that, especially a long day of meeting guardians who had followed the path I was supposed to be on, the more successful one. Not that he told me that. Anyway, I had nothing else to do but learn. And there was no better way than hands-on experience.

Karolina's eyes narrowed. "No offense, Rose, but I don't think I'd be comfortable with leaving Zoya in your hands," she said icily. I stood up.

"If you need someone to help you out, I'm available. Unless someone else comes along, I think I'm your only option," I said, trying to keep any hostility from my voice.

"Oh, let her do it. All Zoya does is eat, sleep, and poop anyway," Viktoria said offhandedly, trying to seem nonchalant. She winked at me when she bent down to pick up the jacket she'd dropped earlier.

Just then cries erupted from the baby moniter, bringing a smirk to Karolina's pursed lips.

"Fine. She's all yours. All her things are in her nursery. I'll be back by six," she said shortly, and then she disappeared out the door. Viktoria shook her head once the front door slammed shut.

"She has issues," she muttered, then turned to face me. "Zoya's just a little cranky. Wonder where she gets it from," Viktoria said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "She quiets down when you hold her. Just make sure you feed her at around five." Viktoria patted me lightly on the arm. "You'll be fine. Good luck," she called as she headed towards the door.

"Thanks,' I tried to call out, but the door was already swinging shut. I sighed, then headed up the stairs towards to shrieking baby. "Nothing I can't handle," I murmured to myself. Of course it wasn't. I was Rose Hathaway-no baby was going to take me down.

I gently nudged the door to the nursery open. The walls were a plain white, and the hard wood floor creaked as I determidly walked to the crib. Zoya's face was bright red as she screamed out all her problems to the world.

"It's okay," I cooed as I picked up the writhing baby. "It's alright." I held her like the books said to, cradled in my arms with her head supported by my elbow. I rocked back and forth slighly, but the motion felt so awkward that I gave it up and settled for the rocking chair.

"See? You're fine," I crooned to her as we swayed back and forth, back and forth. I was suddenly hit with a horrifying thought-what if she needed a diaper change? I tenttively bent down to smell her onesie, exhaling in relief when it obviously wasn't the problem.

"What's the matter, Zoya? Are you just cranky today, huh?" The words seemed so foreign as they came out of my mouth, in that sickly sweet voice everyone uses on babies. But it felt so natural that I went with it.

"Maybe you do get it from your mom. But I can tell she loves you very much. And that's what matters, right?" Was it me, or were Zoya's cries beginning to quiet? Encouraged, I kept going.

"You know that, right? Mom loves you. Your whole family must love you. Your Uncle Dimitri loves you, and he's just met you," I said softly. I looked down into her face, which was, slowly but surely, fading from it's original crimson color into a softer pink. "I hope your family can love your new cousin too," I whispered. And I wasn't talking about Sonya's baby.

"It's not easy, growing up. I've made a few mistakes. Okay, you're right, more than a few. But everybody does. And you make do with what you have. I'm still going to be a kick a-butt guardian," I corrected myself. By now Zoya was no longer crying, per se, just making little fidgity noises. "You can be a guardian too, if you like. Like your aunt Viktoria. You don't have to settle for less," I told her. Her eyes started to droop, and I smiled at her. Before I knew what I was doing, I bent down to kiss her forehead.

"Go to sleep, Zoya," I whispered. Her little mouth parted and her head turned slightly as she fell asleep. I slowly rose and put her back in her crib before sighing happily. I felt like I'd just passed my trials. Smiling to myself, I headed back downstairs to pick up my book again.

Three hours, two crying fits, a diaper change, and a messy feeding and cleanup later, Karolina finally walked into the nursery where I sat in the rocking chair reading Zoya a beaten up Dr. Seuss book. Every attempt I had made to lull the baby to sleep for the third time had failed, so I'd settled for reading to her to keep her from crying. I was worn out and exhausted, but I instanly went on guard when Karolina knocked on the door. To my complete surprise, she smiled.

"Hi, sweetheart," she said softly as she approached us, holding out her arms for Zoya. I closed the book and handed her off, watching the way Karolina rocked her in her arms. She looked so natural that I couldn't help but envy her. "How was she?" Karolina asked, never taking her eyes from the quiet baby.

"Good," I answered reflexively. Then I sighed. "A lot of work," I admitted.

"You seem like you managed," Karolina said, surveying the room, eyes pausing momentarily at the trash can full of paper towels. What could I say? Zoya was a messy eater. I was surprised by the lack of animosity in Karolina's voice.

"I tried," I said, standing up. I could hear the sound of dishes begininng to clatter in the kitchen; Olena and Yeva had come hone about an hour ago, and it had made Olena grin to see me trying to care for Zoya. She had left me to my struggles, obviously going with the tough love approach, but I was glad for that-it was something I needed to learn on my own.

"I know you did. I, uh...set the downstairs monitor to record before I left," Karolina admitted, looking up at me sheepishly. I instantly felt embarassed.

"Oh." I said, trying to seem like I didn't care. I could feel the blood rushing to my face as I thought over everything I'd said. I turned to leave the room, but Karolina stopped me with a hand on my arm.

"Look, Rose...I'm sorry for how I've been acting. You're alright." Karolina said, a little gruffly. I smiled at her, and she gave a tentative one back. We probably would never be the best of friends, but I knew I had her trust. I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders as I trotted down the stairs, grinning from ear to ear.

* * *

><p>Karolina held Zoya's hand up so it looked like she was waving at me.<p>

"Say buh-bye, Rose," she crooned. Zoya gurgled, and I laughed as I headed over to them.

"Goodbye, Zoya. I'll see you again soon," I promised. I looked up at Karolina.

"Yes, you're going to have to, and you better bring my little niece or nephew," she said. I'd had a few talks with her since our talk in the nursery, and I could honestly say we were on good terms now.

"Of course they will!" Viktoria said. "Or we're going to find you," she said menacingly. I laughed and pulled on her ponytail.

"You're on," I promised her. I was surprised that even Yeva chuckled.

"Good luck, Roza," she said raspily. I gasped in surprise.

"You-but-what?" I gaped. Yeva grinned.

"Fooled you!" She laughed. For some reason, I completely lost it. I doubled over in laughter, at the total disbelief that Yeva had always been able to understand my English.

"What's she laughing at? What's going on?" Dimitri asked, dumbfounded as he appeared at my side again. Viktoria giggled, then threw her head back and howled with laughter. Karolina began to shake with her chuckles, and Olena joined in as well.

"Did all hell just break lose?" Sonya asked Dimitri. I just shook my head and let it out. Soon enough Dimitri and Sonya joined in, probably laughing at how weird we all were. I'm sure we looked incredibly insane, but I didn't care. Because we were all insane together, one big happy family.

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><p><strong>So that's the end of that. I know this one was a bit short and drawn out, but I wanted to find a way to have Rose and Karolina connect. I'm going to try and get back into the swing of things, I promise.<strong>


	24. Homebound

**Hey guys, me again :) I've been so pumped that I just had to get this one up. But, I do have some sad news. This is the second to last chapter; the next one, chapter 25, is the epilogue. It's just that I've seen so many versions of Rose's pregnancy and life ever after, and I don't think I could top them or come up with more original ideas. But it WILL be wrapped up, all safe and snug and finished without a cliffhanger this time. Thanks for sticking with me, you lovely lovely people. Your comments and opinions mean the world to me. I hope you like this one! It's more of a wrap up kind of chapter, and the next one will have a little more detail. But enough from me already! Love you all. 3**

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><p>"Are you happy to be home?" Dimitri asked as he shut our apartment door and flicked on the lights.<p>

"Of cour-oh. Never mind," I groaned once I turned around and saw the dozens of boxes that still needed to be unpacked. I dropped my suitcase on the floor and sank onto a nearby box, burrying my head in my hands. I felt Dimitri rush to my side and crouch down.

"Rose, what is it? What's wrong?" He asked worriedly, trying to gently pry my hands from my face. I groaned.

"All the cleaning I'll have to do!" I said exasperatedly, looking around. "And scrubbing, and painting-I'm going domestic! That's it, my life is over." I groaned again and gave a theatrical sigh. Dimitri chuckled and stood up, offering me a hand to pull me up.

"1. There is no way you're going to be near paint in your condition, and 2. it won't be so bad. I'll be helping, and hey," he said with a wink, "I kind of like picturing you as a homemaker. Preferably in a French maid's outfit..." he bent down to kiss me deeply, and I couldn't help but respond. It wasn't until his hands started to play with the hem of my shirt that I drew back.

"Remember our deal? Bed first," I warned, putting my hands on my hips. Dimitri grinned.

"I thought you'd say that," he said slyly, and before I knew what he was doing he practically threw me over his shoulder.

"Dimitri! What are you- Put me down!" I said, half laughing, half shouting. He brought me to the bedroom, and when he let me fall I braced myself to land on the hardwood floor. Instead my back flopped onto-a mattress? I flipped over on my stomach and gasped. In the middle of our bedroom was a beautiful, mahogany king sized four poster bed complete with a giant fluffy golden quilt over chocolate brown sheets.

"How did you-When?" I spluttered, kneeling up and looking over at him. He was watching me with this amused glint in his eyes.

"I made a few calls in Baia," he said, smiling. "I had enough of this floor the first night we had to sleep here," he groaned, rubbing his back at the memory. I let my grin devour my face.

"My hero," I said seductively, reaching up to throw my arms around Dimitri's neck. He laughed and bent down to kiss me. He was just beginning to ease himself onto the bed when our doorbell rang. We both groaned.

"I'll get it," Dimitri sighed, running a hand through his hair.

I felt the familiar hum of the bond at the proximity before I heard Lissa speak. "Rose? Are you home?" She called. I trotted out into the hallway in time to see Dimitri swing the door open and beckon her in.

"Hello, Princess. How are you?" He asked respectfully, sticking to his guardian protocol. Lissa smiled.

"Great, thanks. How was Baia?"

"Amazing," I interrupted as I walked towards her, and Lissa spun around to face me and gave me a huge hug. Dimitri chuckled and shook his head, closing the front door and moving away to give Lissa and me some space.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in ages!" Lissa exclaimed, rocking me. I laughed and stepped out of her embrace.

"I know! I feel like I was in Siberia for months, not a couple weeks. But it still didn't feel long enough," I confessed. Lissa squealed happily.

"So, everything went well? They loved you, right?" She asked. I nodded and sank onto one of the boxes again, inviting her to do the same.

"At first it was a little iffy. They didn't believe me. But then again, who would?" I chuckled. "Eventually they came around. His sisters are great," I said, and I meant it about all three of them.

"Well I'm so glad for you," Lissa said warmly.

"Thanks, Liss. So what have you been up to?" I asked. I could feel Lissa's excitement through the bond, and I was curious about what she'd come to tell me.

"I just learned how to dream walk!" She burst out excitedly. "I finally got it. Adrian and I have been practicing almost every day, and I finally managed to do it."

"That's great!" I exclaimed. "So it looks like spirit users can all share abilities, then."

"Yes, thank God. I was starting to think I would never be able to do what Adrian does. But I'm learning!" Suddenly Lissa looked at her watch and jumped up.

"Oh, speaking of learning, I have to get going for my class. Night ones, you know," she winked. I stood with her and smiled yet again. It looked like she was managing her scary schedule just fine.

"Good luck with it," I told her, accepting another hug.

"Thanks. And I'll be seeing you around, right?" She said sternly. "I know you're free to do whatever until the baby is born, but don't you dare turn into a hermit," she warned. I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"Of course not, Princess," I said, opening the door and making a theatrical bow. She stuck her tongue out at me, said a final goodbye and left. I smiled to myself, thinking how glad I was that she was happy. I hadn't found a trace of spirit's affect through the bond.

I halfheartedly opened one of the boxes knowing I had to start somewhere when Dimitri came out of the bedroom dressed in his guardian uniform. I felt a little pang of jealousy knowing that he would get to perform his duties while I would be a sitting duck in the apartment. Though Dimitri swore I would not be putting the whole apartment together single-handedly, (though I was sure part of that was because he didn't trust me to do it correctly), it made the most sense for me, the one who would be staying here all day every day until after the baby was born, to get things in order while he worked.

"Uhm, your charge just left," I said bluntly, trying to swallow the jabs of jealousy. I couldn't fool Dimitri. He gave me a knowing look.

"I don't start guarding her until Sunday. For now, I'm on patrol," he explained as he stepped closer to me. He held his arms out for me and I sighed, allowing myself to lean into him.

"I know it's hard, Rose," Dimitri said softly, stroking my hair. "But things will be different later. For now, concentrate on yourself and the baby. Right now, you come first. You'll have your whole life to guard Lissa." I nodded into his chest and backed up a step.

"Go get 'em," I said, trying to smile. The pity in his eyes said he didn't buy it, but what else could he do? He leaned in for a kiss before reluctantly heading to the door. I was so used to having him around me all the time that watching him go felt strange, unreal.

"I love you, Roza," he said, his hand on the doorknob.

"I love you too," I said back, and then he left the apartment. I was alone. I returned to the box I had opened but not even glanced at yet, determined to keep myself from throwing a pity party, when I froze.

Inside the box were children's toys. A stuffed tiger, toy train, and plastic bath boat sat nestled between tons of army men, wooden cars and random children's books, most of them in Russian. They were obviously Dimitri's things. Smiling through my sadness, I picked up the box and brought it into the second bedroom, the soon-to-be nursery. I put it down in the center of the room and walked to the window, pushing back the dusty curtains. the window faced the courtyard, a hub of activity as people ran between court shops and buildings. It was the perfect window, I thought to myself, with a ledge wide enough to sit on and watch the little people float on by with their lives. I tried to picture a little boy or girl sitting there, or looking out like I was. Maybe he would be grounded for causing trouble in school, and, having nothing better to do, would cotemplate how terrible his parents were by staring out at the view he'd seen everyday from the time he was a baby. Or maybe she'd curl up there with a book like the ones her father loved, telling herself she was paying attention when really her mind had wandered to the face of a boy she didn't want to admit she liked.

I came up with these detailed senarios, one after another, picturing a child, _my child_, growing up in that room. It made me burn with curiosity, the desire to know who he or she would be, what they would like, and just how much of my stubborn attitude they would keep, or Dimitri's quiet tenderness.

I pictured bookshelves filled with classics, or the walls that Dimitri would have spent so much time painting covered in posters from bands and movie stars. For some reason, my heart suddenly felt like it was going to burst. Everywhere I looked in that little bedroom I saw hope, life, and a future. Every crack would become part of my child's memory, ever mark a sign he or she left there. I hummed happily to myself as I began to sort the boxes, no longer depressed by the task, dreaming of the day when I wouldn't have to wonder.

"It can't get here soon enough," I said, looking all around me. The quaint, dusty apartment wasn't the prison I'd just imagined it to be-it was my home.


	25. Epilogue: Happily Ever After

**As a final farewell, I'm giving this chapter a cliche title. Tada! Here's our last chapter, guys. I tried to send it out with a bang.**

**Also, this needs to be said: you are all amazing. Every one of you who has added this to your favorites or alerts or has reviewed makes me so happy. Even knowing people are just _reading_ this is incredible to me. Your praise is so...so...inspiring, and I feel like I don't deserve it, since it's you guys who compel me to write the best that I can. You little spirit users, you :) So what do you say, one last chapter together?**

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><p><strong><em>EPILOGUE: Three and a half years later<em>**

"Finally," I sighed as I unlocked my front door and slipped inside. I shut it gently and leaned against it, closing my eyes, imagining I was shutting out all of the court and its royal drama. Guarding Lissa of course meant some heavy political crap, and I'd had just about all I could take of the smoozing and flattery for one day. It makes me feel gross all over. I shook my head, refusing to let my work bother me in my home. Don't get me wrong, I loved guarding Lissa, but my favorite part of the day was coming home to my family. _My family._ the word never ceased to amaze me.

"Mia," I called out as I draped my coat over the comfy blue couch, tossing my blazer over it as well. "I'm home!" A little brown eyed beauty came tearing out of her bedroom, rocketing right towards me. I laughed and crouched down, extending my arms to catch my daughter.

"Hey, sweetie," I said cheerily as I peppered her face in kisses. She shook her head, cackling as she did so, and her luxurious brown locks hit me in the face. "Umph," I spluttered, trying to clear her hair out of my mouth.

"You're so silly, mommy," she giggled, burying her head in my neck. I kissed the top of her head. I looked up to see Mia leaning against the wall, grinning. I smiled and set my daughter down on the floor.

"Why don't you go show mommy what you did today, Riley?" Mia asked, laughter bubbling underneath her words. Riley clapped in excitement.

"Pirates!" She shrieked before catapulting around the corner into her purple bedroom. I laughed.

"How was she?" I asked Mia as I bent down to take my shoes off.

"Very excited. Though I guess she is every day, huh?" Mia chuckled, shaking her blonde curls. "She can't wait to go on vacation next week.

"Dimitri either. He's been dying to get away," I explained as I threw myself on the couch. Mia sat across from me in Dimitri's favorite recliner. I looked at my watch. He should be home within the hour, giving me plenty of time to get supper started. Ever since he'd taken the job as head of Court security, leaving Eddie as Lissa's permanent second guardian, his hours were much more regular and easier to plan around since he no longer revolved around Lissa like I couldn't. And there was the added bonus of the opportunity for vacations every now and then, I thought with a smile.

"Arghhh!" came a cry from the hallway. I looked over and saw Riley with a paper eye patch, scribbled black with marker and held together by elastic bands and paper clips, and a paper pirate hat. I couldn't hold the hysteric giggle back.

"Did you do this?" I asked Mia. As Riley's babysitter (or nanny, rather, but I hated saying it. It sounded too pretentious for the familial situation it really was) she had the difficult task of constantly keeping her entertained on the days when Dimitri and I were both working. The things Mia came up with always seemed to top everything else she'd done.

"Guilty as charged," Mia grinned as she stood up.

"Mommy, look! I have a sword!" Riley cried, brandishing her stackable markers at me.

"Next thing you know, you'll be pillaging the villages," I said affectionately as I walked over to her and ruffled her hair. She took off around the room, pointing her weapon at imaginary foes and fighting them off with her sheer strength.

"So I'll see you bright and early tomorrow?" Mia asked as I walked her to the door.

"You got it. Thank you so much," I told her.

"Anytime, Rose. You know that," Mia said warmly. "Bye Riley," she called, but Riley didn't look up. Mia and I both chuckled. She'd been such a big help to me these past years, stopping by to subtly clean the house when Lissa happened to mention how stressed I was, even bringing dinner by every now and then in the early months when I'd been struggling with everything. I'd finally hired her when it was time for me to get back into the swing of guardian things, and she'd fallen into our crazy family puzzle as an indispensable center piece. I don't know what I would have done without her.

I closed the front door after her and headed to the fridge to start laying things out for that night's meal. Riley ran up to me and hugged my leg.

"What do you think about tacos?" I asked her as I shifted things inside the fridge, searching for dinner fixings. I looked down to see her sticking her tongue out. "No? What would you suggest?"

"Maccaroni!" Riley shrieked, bouncing up and down. I looked at her in exasperation.

"We have that almost every day," I told her. It was Riley's latest thing, and I was trying to get her interested in some other food. So far it wasn't working. "Tell you what. How about we make a pizza? You and me?" Riley thought for a minute and then nodded enthusiastically.

"I get to help mommy!" She yelled, running into her room to get the little apron Lissa had given her a few months ago after Riley tried to help her bake brownies and instead ended up wearing them. Since then, Riley wore it whenever she "helped" me in the kitchen.

I had just given Riley a little piece of dough and her plastic rolling pin from her kitchen set to start making her pizza when the house phone rang. I quickly dried my hands on a dish towel and answered it.

"Hello?" I asked, watching Riley smush her dough and try to form it into a perfect circle.

"Rose!" My mother exclaimed. "Is now a bad time?"

"Hey mom. It's fine; I'm just making pizza with Riley." I said as I cradled the phone between my ear and my shoulder and set to work rolling out the dough.

"Tell her I said hello," Janine said eagerly, and I heard Abe shout something in the background. "And Abe too."

"Riley, want to say hello to grandma and grandpa?" I asked. Riley looked up from her craftmanship and grinned.

"Hi gramma, hi grampa!" She called. My mom chuckled.

"So what's going on?" I asked as I coated the rolling pin in flour.

"Well, I just wanted to let you know that your father and I will be at court in the beginning of next month," she said happily. I smiled. Ever since my graduation I could tell that something had been brewing between the two, and apparently I'd been right. Abe and my mother were back together, though she still guarded her Moroi acorss the globe. Abe had moved his mysterious business to be with her. It was nice to hear her so happy, and even nicer to know I'd get to see her again. I hadn't seen her since Christmas, almost four months ago.

"Really? That's great!" I enthused. "For how long?"

"About two weeks. We miss you all," My mom said affectionately.

"Awe, mom, I miss you too." I started to spread the tomato sauce around the crust, giving Riley a few spoonfuls for hers. She patted it happily.

"And how's Dimitri?" She asked.

"Great. He really loves his new job. In fact," I said, looking at the clock on the microwave, "he should be here any minute. Oh, that's him!" I said as the front door opened. My mother laughed.

"Alright, I won't keep you. I'll talk to you later, Rose," she said.

"Bye," I said a little hurriedly. I wasn't too worried; she usually called every now and then to check in anyway. I'd talk to her soon enough.

Riley hopped down from the chair she'd been standing on and ran out into the living room.

"Daddy!" She called exuberantly.

"Hey, kiddo!" I could hear Dimitri's amused voice as he took in the sight of his decked- out daughter. "Are we a pirate now?" He asked. I peeked around the corner of the open doorway to see him picking her up and tickling her. "Did you find any gold?" Riley screamed and writhed in his arms.

"Yes! And it's mine!" Dimitri twirled her around in his arms before setting her down lightly and tapping her on the nose playfully. She laughed and ran into her room, peaking out from behind the corner and ducking back in when she saw Dimitri still standing there. I smiled to myself and returned to my cheese spreading, sprinkling the shredded mozerella over the sauce just as I felt Dimitri come up behind me and slide his hands around my waist. I turned my head and he met my lips with a slow kiss.

"Hello," he murmured when we parted. I turned around to face him and slipped my hands behind his neck.

"Hello yourself, Comrade," I said softly. He smiled and leaned down for another kiss, letting his fingers twirl my hair gently. "How was your day?" I asked when he let me go. I carelessly tossed some more cheese on the sauce.

"Not too bad. Better now," he sighed contentedly, watching me drizzle the olive oil on top. "Just another week and we'll be at the beach," he said dreamily. I smiled. He'd been working so hard lately, and he absolutely deserved a break. I couldn't wait to spend some quality time with him and Riley.

"Next week, that reminds me..." I said slowly as I slid both the big pizza and Riley's mini one into the oven and closed the door. "Lissa had to cancel our weekly cookout. Christian is taking her out to a fancy restaurant," I said, trying and failing to wiggle my eyebrows. Dimitri laughed.

"You think he's going to propose?" He questioned.

"I'm pretty sure. It took him long enough," I said, rolling my eyes and turning back to the table to clean up the flour-y mess.

"Well, you'll be able to give her some good married woman advice, Mrs. Belikov," Dimitri said seductively. He gently took my left hand from where it rested on the table, bringing it to his lips and kissing the gold band that signified our marriage. I flipped my hand over to stroke my husband's face and was about to kiss him again when Riley appeared, tugging on Dimitri's leg.

"Daddy, can we play pony? Please?" She begged. Dimitri gave me a last lingering look before swinging down and swooping our daughter up, carrying her to the living room where they could play without making a mess. I laughed out loud as my strong, muscular Russian god pranced around on all fours with Riley hanging onto the back of his shirt. I leaned happily against the door frame, wondering for the thousandth time how I'd ended up with so many impossible miracles. But oh, hell I thought as my family laughed and galloped around the coffee table-if I hadn't learned by now I never would. You can't take impossibilities for granted-you'll end up with more than you could ever hope for.

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><p><strong>This was so painful, yet so much fun to write. I hate closing this up, but it's time. It's been real guys. I hope you liked this story, and that I ended it well enough! I love you all. **gross sobbing**.<strong>


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